


One-Shot Collection

by KujaTribal



Category: Takarazuka Revue RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-27
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2017-11-13 00:54:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 61,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/497582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KujaTribal/pseuds/KujaTribal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One-Shot Collection</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Story one

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative Universe  
> "How I loved her"

She was so much unlike me. When I first saw her, she was pure, innocent. I saw her just passing by, yet she… her whole entire being captured me. She didn’t even see me. No she was not like me. She was not supposed to see me. Yet I couldn’t get it out of my head. Her eyes, following me in my sleep. Her voice, haunting my dreams. Her face, her pure, shining skin, her dark brown hair. Everything about her made my world spin. Her soul, white and shimmering, like a diamond, like the spring water and, as much as it is cliché, like one single star in the dark of the night.  
Oh how I loved her.  
  
Me? They call me many names. I don’t really have a name. The world calls me different names, gave me different faces and different personalities. I hide my true face behind a mask people gave me long ago. Not that this matters for my story, though.  
When I met her, the woman that gave my broken heart new wings, she was alone. Far away from every other human contact, far from crowds and from the city. Back then, she made her way through the mountains I visited so often. It always was quiet there. No humans, no traffic, no witnesses. I had kissed a lot of people there. She balanced on the edge of the mountain, enjoyed the view and gazed into the far distance. Yet she didn’t look down. I quickly learned she was afraid of highs. She stood there for hours and I watched her, sat in the distance. I was so stunned by her whole being, her simple gestures and by the way she laughed when the soft wind touched her skin. I saw her shiver when it became colder. The sun quickly set and I left her there, watching as the sun faded.  
  
The second time I saw her, she was in a theatre. There I learned she was an actress. I was there because I had work to do there. I hate what I do, but I do it anyway. There was the first time I had the chance to see her closer. I heard her sing. I was charmed and stunned by everything she did. She danced, a tango as I learned, followed by a song that shattered the walls around my soul and touched my long dead heart. Her smile made it jump. I found myself behind her, reached out to touch her and to talk to her, yet I pulled back. We were not supposed to meet. This gem was to precious to be touched by the likes of me. I left with my work undone.  
  
Fate caused me to run into her a third time, however this time I saw her heart broken. I ran into her at a funeral. Her grandmother’s. This was the first time ever since I remember that I was… sad. I was sad seeing her cry. I remember her standing there in the rain, kneeling at the grave and throwing some flowers into them. She walked past me, her head down, and I felt my mask falling apart. I would have done everything to make her smile again. Everything. Yet I couldn’t. It was not within my power.  
Time passed and it had healed her broken heart caused by the loss of her loved one and I continued to watch over her. I saw her meeting others. I saw her laughing and I saw her breaking up, saw her crying again. She was a strong girl, an even stronger woman. However the more I saw her crying, the more I wanted to take her pain. I wanted to make it go away, wanted to make her happy to heal my own bleeding heart. I restrained doing so, knowing what I would have done much more harm than help her.  
  
That was until that one day. That one day I watched her again, watched her standing by the window, wearing that beautiful, white, silk dress she once bought for herself. She had done it to prepare for her wedding, however the one she had loved left her just a few hours earlier. I just stood there. Watched her but I couldn’t bear it any longer. I walked up close to her, stopped right behind her. I could basically feel the warmth of her skin through the fabric I was wearing, could smell the soft scent that was coming from her. I raised my hand to let it run over her shoulder, or better just a few inches above it. I didn’t dare touching her.  
“Did you finally come to meet me?”  
Her voice echoed in my hollow chest, made my heart pound and I just slowly raised my gaze, found her eyes in the reflection of the window. She wasn’t crying. Her eyes shone bright and I found myself confused. I stepped back to leave.  
“Wait”, she said. I stopped halfway. “Why are you running from me?”  
Only slowly I turned around, threw a quick glance over my shoulder before turning completely. I hadn’t spoken in ages. I wasn’t even sure if I was still able to. She didn’t turn and still faced the window.  
“I felt you watching me”, she continued. “Even though I could not see you. I still can’t.” Slowly she raised her thin fingers, lay them on her bare upper arms. “I know you so well. Yet you refuse to let me see you.”  
“I can’t”, I whispered. I saw her closing her eyes in the reflection.  
“I wish for nothing more.”  
She turned and I saw her in her full beauty. She was like an angel from the heavens, passing judgement of what was left of my eternal soul. Her eyes searched the room and even though she could not see me, her eyes suddenly were pinned on me. Slowly I raised my hand until my dirty, bony fingers found the mask I wore for ages, pulled it down and I turned it in my hand. It always had been my protection. The white surface that was stained with blood, tears and dirt, the mask that was carefully carved into a skull to hide who I was. My hood was still pulled down deep into my face. I felt… fear. Fear of what was about to come. I hung the mask on my belt before facing her again. It still looked like she was able to see me, yet I knew she was not.  
“Why do you desire me so much?”, I asked, still fixing her with my gaze. It took her some time to answer.  
“Isn’t that what everyone needs? Someone to desire? Someone to love?”  
“I am no one to be loved.”  
“Just because it is not meant to doesn’t mean I don’t. I know you’re with me ever since I was a little child. Remember? When I played in the mountains? And I loved you ever since then.” She reached out in my direction. “I need you.”  
I could easily tell. I desired her so much. She was my light and like a filthy little insect I was drawn to her. Slowly I stepped closer. She was just in reach, waiting for me. Once more I raised my hand, stopped just before my fingertips touched hers. I felt that pull more than ever before and she knew I was there. She would have known when I left. My love for her had set fate. My fingers touched hers and I pushed them up so that my palm lay on hers. I knew she was able to see me then, so I hid my face even more under my hood. I heard her gasping. I was not the shining knight she had hoped for. Slowly her fingers entangled with mine and she stepped closer. I felt my whole being shaking under her presence.  
“Why do you hide from me?”  
“I am not who you wish for. No one shall ever wish for me. That was the choice fate made for me.”  
“But I need you. Don’t you love me?”  
“I was supposed to kill you the first time I saw you.”  
“Yet you didn’t. You spared me more than once. Why?”  
“I couldn’t.” I looked up and found her eyes. “I love you.”  
She reached out to touch my face, pull back my hood. I wanted to tell her to stop but I didn’t. I let her proceed, let her see what fate made out of me. Her hands on my skin burned, I felt on fire, yet I didn’t want her to stop. She caressed my pale skin, let her fingers run over my cracked lips, through my black hair and looked into my dark eyes.  
“You’re beautiful.” I couldn’t help but watch her. Watch her as she stepped closer to me, lay her arms around my shoulders and held herself closer to me. “I love you. I want to be with you.”  
I lay my arms around the thin body, felt the soft silk under my fingers.  
“Do you even know who and what I am?”  
“I know that people call you many names. I would like to know your real one.”  
“… I don’t have one.”  
“Then would you mind me giving you one?”  
I raised my head in surprise a bit, turned it a bit to face her once more while she continued lying in my arms. I am not even sure if she was aware of what she was asking of me that time. Giving me a name would mean a pact between her and me, meaning she would be bound to me forever. Yet when she looked into my eyes, they told me she knew.  
“Why?”  
“As I said. I want to be with you. I… want this to be our secret. There is no one else who needs to know of it. Only me. I want you to take me with you.”  
“There is no turning back for you. Your soul will never find peace.”  
“There will be no peace for me if I’m not with you.”  
I found myself lost of words. I couldn’t reply to that and maybe I didn’t want to. I wanted her with me. She wanted to be by my side. I lay my pale hand on her cheek, stroke it softly and pulled her closer.  
  
She gave me a name when I kissed her. Yet this name was ours for all eternity. She was the only one to know, the only one I needed. I like that name. It had so many meanings and yet they all meant the same. Her soul stayed with me while her dead body fell to the floor. She stayed in my heart, stayed by my side as I swore I would never stop loving her. That was the pact we made. I put back on my mask. My face was only hers to be seen. I was hers to be owned. She was all I need.  
  
I walked over to the window, her by my side when someone else knocked once, calling out for her. A second knock. A third. Her friends stormed in, found her still in her wedding grown, dead on the floor.  
“Let’s go, Asako”, I said. “There is nothing more for us to do here.”  
Usually when people think of my name, they fear. People feared death, Tod, Thanatos, Charon, Ankou, Grim Reaper, Pesta, Mrtyu, Anubis or whatever name humans decided to give me. Usually I bring pain to people. Usually I simply released them from their existence. Some welcome me, some don’t. I learned not to care anymore. I have what I waited for. I had her. And sometimes when we sit in the mountains, watching the sun set, she leans on my shoulder, takes off my mask and pulls back my hood, takes my hand and simply look in my eyes, put on a smile. I feel getting warm again then, softly smile back at her.  
“I love you, Saeko”, she whispers just as her lips brush mine.


	2. Story 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's just a thing

I can’t really tell when it started. Maybe back then when she joined Hoshigumi. Maybe earlier when I saw her with her best friend at that party, when they stood in the corner, close to each other. It had been obvious then what was going on between these two. Maybe later when we finally got the chance to talk to each other without others around. Still there is no way for me to tell what made me do this. Of course she was pretty, beautiful even but I was the older of the two of us. I should have known. Plus she wasn’t even my type, not that I had a type, but I could tell she wasn’t one of those. It wasn’t so long after the announcement that, for some reason I can not tell, she started flirting with me. In front of all the others and she wasn’t even ashamed of it. She had thrown me so off balance that I was unable to get one straight sentence out.  
“So how about you giving me private lessons”, she said. “I really could need it. Maybe I can teach you one thing or another as well.”  
All this while throwing those glances over to me that told me she had other things in mind than learning script and dances with me. I saw our Top Star grinning over to me from across the room as well. She knew that this person was flirting with me and was not even ashamed of it. I asked myself if what I had heard about her and her best friend was wrong then.

I found out sooner than I wanted to.  
Being a bit naïve as I forced myself to be after she flirted with me, I agreed to help her a bit, earning a wide grin from her. I wouldn’t let her take me over. I was the older one and I was the one who would order her around if necessary. We did meet up after our Troupemates left in one of the smaller rehearsal halls. There was no need for us to stay in the main one if it was just the two of us. Since we had quite some scenes together, I let her decide what she wanted to practice. She requested it after all. I should have known she would pic THAT scene. Yet I felt like she was a bit too much into her role. She rarely let me breath, always maintained close contact to me. I don’t know why I even agreed to this. This wasn’t my role. I was already busy learning my own part and still I played the dummy for this woman. Before I could think any further she was right behind me, her arm around my shoulders and pulling me close. I could feel her heat and the pounding of her heart against my back, her breathing against the back of my neck.  She didn’t speak at first but I felt my face getting hot while I grabbed her arm in a desperate attempt to pull it back. Her breathing changed, became more rapid as she placed her lips on my more or less exposed neck and I just hardly restrained myself from letting out a moan. I always had been sensitive there.  
“Stop that”, I groaned, yet she continued and before I had the chance to talk back once more, she had her hands all over my body, under my shirt and teasing my skin. Even though I was protesting, gasping once in a while with a silent whimper, she went on, kissing, biting and nibbling at my neck, her hand discovered the skin below my shirt while her other pulled my hair softly. I couldn’t deny it felt good and when she found more and more spots that made my muscles twitched I gave into that. I found myself trapped at the wall, her lips on mine. She knew how to stop me from thinking twice about that. I let that… girl overpower me when she whispered my name into my ear.

I came to my senses, I was already at home. Still I had shaking legs, a shaking body and I felt like I would black out every second. I slammed the door shut and leaned my back against it. I could still feel her hands everywhere and I panted slightly while reliving that feeling.  
“Oh dear, Toyoko”, I whispered for myself. “What have you gotten yourself into?”  
I took a shower, but it really didn’t do me any good. She had made me want this and I had to admit, I still wanted this.

I decided that I wouldn’t just let her do as she pleased. I was still technically above her and I would let her feel it. Yet when I started ordering her around when I saw the opportunity to, she didn’t let this just happen and soon, very soon, we developed a game out of this. I hated her so much sometimes. We continued to flirt, subtle, but obviously enough to make Chie raise her eyebrow in surprise, raising the tension between us before releasing it sometimes even days after the last time. I even invited her to my house and I sometimes went to see hers. It was just a thing we both enjoyed and we both knew it.  
Once I lay on my front on her bed, my head on my crossed arms and under her sheets when she turned to grab her phone, threw a quick glance on the display before basically throwing it away across the table. I knew her well enough then to see that something was wrong.  
“Who was that?”, I asked. That person was already calling three times, but she decided to just ignore it.  
“No one.”  
“Don’t lie to me, Teru.”  
“… It was Kitarou.”  
For just one very short second I was able to see the sadness flicker in her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A message hidden

I simply waved over.  
“I'll come in a few minutes. Just go on ahead without me. I need to go change into something different.”  
“Fine. But don't take too long. I won't wait forever.”  
“Sure. Just make sure Miya finds all the messages.”  
I grinned and walked into the changing-room where our costumes still hang at the wall. The assistants would surely pack them up shortly and put them away. Sadly. Just as I closed the door behind me, I fell against it, leaned with my back against the cold door and felt my tears coming up. I blew it. I simply blew it. The concert had been so fine and I had the chance to say everything. Everything. But I blew it. I didn't have the guts. I could have made it subtle, hidden between my words. I could have wrote it down and put it inside her bag. I could have just told her. But I didn't. I was too coward to tell her how much she fascinated me. I couldn't tell her how beautiful she was. I couldn't tell her... everything. Then again, how could I have told her? I wasn't even sure what it was that I felt and yet I was in that room, breaking down into tears by the thought of maybe never seeing her again, never talking to her again, never just... being close to her like that. When Beni came to me and asked me if I wanted to be part of Kurenai 5, I was so incredibly happy. Even though I was so young and she was so much higher in ranks than me, she still had asked me. And I found that the people I worked with were so kind and nice, so funny that we quickly grew together. I felt that together, we could to anything. When I first talked to her it was like she already had known me for years. She had talked to me like I was an old friend and I found myself more and more drawn to her.  
I pushed myself off the door and walked over to a chair, let myself fall on it and buried my face inside my hands while I felt tears rolling over my face. The whole time I was able to act so strong, even though I almost started crying on stage, but now it was just too much for my bleeding heart. I always looked up to her, literally since I was pretty short, however I felt that there was another and that I had no chance to even talk to her in private. There was another that glared over to me when I looked more intensely at her and as soon as I had noticed, I stared on the floor for the rest of the time. Not to mention I did this a lot on stage during our concert. I acted strong and dorky the whole time like they expected me to be, funny and a bit tipsy like I usually was even though I didn't feel like it at all. My 'partner' made fun of it the whole time, Renta simply loved to do that, and I tried getting into it. My thoughts weren't. All I could think of was that I may never be able to talk to her again.  
A knock at the door made me raise my head and quickly I wiped away the tears on my face, got up to turn my back to the door. I wouldn't show my weakness to anyone. The door opened and I technically ran around the table to grab my jacket.  
“Hey Mikkii? Are you coming or not?”  
I felt my heart jump and once more I let my hand run over my cheek. The tears just wouldn't stop, so I forced myself to have a strong voice. Yet it was a bit shaky.  
“I'll be right there. I can't seem to find my belt.”  
“Shall I help you?”  
“No. No I'll be fine.”  
I hoped that the door would close again and as soon as I heard it I let my shoulders fall down a bit. I gulped and took off the jacket I was still wearing over that Kurenai5-shirt and threw the jacket over my shoulders, pulled it close and buttoned it up. I didn't feel like changing anymore. I wanted to keep this feeling of belonging somewhere and maybe imagine being part of her life as long as possible. Once more I wiped my cheeks and hoped that I didn't ruin my make-up too much. I wasn't feeling like looking inside the mirror. With a swift turn I headed to the door, but just as I walked two steps and looked up, I stopped and felt my legs getting weak again.  
“Belt, huh? Your trousers don't even have belt loops. Who are you kidding?”  
“I... I'm sorry.” I looked at the floor and felt how my voice left me. I tried holding it in with all my might. I didn't want anyone to see me cry.  
“Did something happen?” She walked over to me and touched my upper arm. She always was a touchy person.  
“No. I'm fine.”  
“You don't seem fine.”  
I simply shook my head and looked up, put on a smile. I still felt like it was heavy on my lips and tried to look into her eyes. Miyacchi was still wearing that suite we made for her as a present because she would leave for Tsukigumi. At least I hadn't been the only one crying on stage. The older woman was so touched by the present that Nene had to give her a tissue so her make-up wasn't completely ruined.  
“It's really nothing. I'm just sad it's over.” She raised her eyebrow a bit and her eyes seemed to search my face for a clue. Somehow I needed to change the subject. “So... do you like the present. It was all Beni's idea.”  
Miyacchi smiled and pulled a bit on her jacket to look at all the things we wrote and drew on there.  
“I love it so much. And I will always keep it. It was so nice of you. And thank you for the nice message.”  
Once more I smiled but felt that it was a little easier to keep up. It had been my idea to write her little messages inside the pockets, but I wouldn't tell her the second one I wrote on that. It was not like she would ever find it. I hid it so well and the others didn't watch me while I wrote it. After all, I kept the stuff so that Miyacchi wouldn't find it before she was supposed to.  
“That's nice. I still hope you will do well in Tsukigumi.”  
“I hope the people are nice there. I don't know a lot of people there. Well aside from Sayupon. But I will miss Hoshigumi so much.”  
I gulped and felt tears coming up again, felt my eyes standing in water, yet I held it back once more.  
“That's nice. I... we will miss you as well...”  
The other woman's smile faded and she looked at me with worried eyes.  
“Mikkii? What is it? No need to cry.”  
Just a sad laugh came out of my mouth when I bowed my head a bit more to hide my face and my eyes.  
“I know. I just... It won't be the same without you around. You are Azusa's partner after all.”  
And that was the point where I felt a sudden, light pain in my heart. Azusa. Together, they were AzuRuri. They always introduced themselves like this and ever since I joined Hoshigumi, I remember the two of them being together. I had no right to even imagine how close the two of them really were, yet I kind of hoped they weren't. They did so much together, they were always beside each other, also during rehearsals, all the time. It was always the two of them. No wonder they joined Kurenai 5 together.  
“What does this have to do with Azu? She is fine. We'll see each other after all.”  
“I simply... I...” Suddenly I buried my face in my hands again. “Without you... there.. the others... and...”  
“Hey... there, there.” I felt slim but strong arms around me, pulling me close and I had no choice but to lean against her body. My head fell against her shoulder, lay my hands on her jacket.  
“I am going to miss you so much.”  
Once more I felt stupid sobbing against her chest, yet couldn't stop.  
“I'm not leaving Takarazuka. I simply change troupes, that's all.”  
I clawed her jacket a bit before I pushed my arms over her shoulders and lay them around her neck. I was still unable to look at her properly.  
“We... won't be Kurenai 5 anymore...”, I whispered and couldn't resist pushing my body closer against hers. I didn't want to let go.  
“Mikkii... Look at me.” I couldn't. I continued to press my head against her shoulder. She sighed a bit, pulled me back and lay her hand on my cheek, let it run over it and stopped at my chin before forcing up my head a little so I had to look at her. I felt so hot that my cheeks reddened even more. She wiped away the single tear that crept over my skin. “What's the real reason? And don't try lying to me.”  
I bit my bottom lip and let go of her, stepped back. She confusedly looked at me when I took her hand from my cheek and pulled on the jacket's sleeve, pulled it back and turned a fold. It was usually hidden by another piece of the sleeve and without knowing there was no way that one would ever look there. I had written the message there. Miyacchi looked at it with her big, sparkling eyes and she turned the sleeve a bit to take a look at the message. 'You mean so much to me' was written there in green. I couldn't have made it more subtle. There were so many possibilities for that sentence, so many less intimate meanings, yet I had been unable to bring myself to write it just below my very short message on the pocket. Then again the place where I put it, my reaction to it and me being unable to just tell her... all that was pointing to what I felt, even though I was unable to really tell what I felt that moment. I watched her through my teary eyes while hers read over the message once, then again, then a third time before she looked up at me. I felt like I wanted to simply vanish on the spot.  
“What…”  
“I don’t know”, I interrupted her, my voice shaking even more than before. “Please don’t ask. I don’t know either. I just feel so drawn to you and… and I… but Azusa would…”  
“Leave Azu aside for a second”, she said with a slightly stronger voice. “Why do you write something like that?”  
Suddenly I felt scared. Scared that I showed her and that she would push me back. I sobbed once more and took another step back.  
“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t want to.”  
Miyacchi sighed but I still didn’t have the guts to look up to her.  
“I think I didn’t make myself clear…” When I felt another pull on my wrist, I found myself at her body again and she hugged me tightly. I felt my heart skipping a beat. “Why did you write it? You could have told me personally…”  
I shook harder and I hugged her once more, started crying harder and she held me up with a strong grip or else my legs would just have given up.  
“I… I was so scared. I-I thought…”  
“Just don’t think about it, Mikkii.” I felt her stroking my back and the back of my head. “I’m not gone forever.” She grabbed the back of my neck, pulled me closer and lay her forehead on mine. I had no choice but to look into her eyes. “I promise I won’t leave you.”  
When I looked into her eyes, I felt that strong need I had once before. I barely stopped myself from doing so, simply lay my fingertips on her cheek and stroke it softly. There was so much I wanted to say right now, but I simply nodded and lowered my gaze.  
“I tell you something”, Miyacchi started once more and I looked up to the taller woman. “How about we have dinner together so we don’t loose contact? Every two weeks at least. How does that sound?”  
All I could do was smile at her happy voice, at her sparkling eyes that found mine once more and the soft hands that still held me.  
“Okay”, I whispered, hugged her once more and held myself at her for some endless moments.  
  
She did keep her promise. As often as we could, we would have dinner, mostly with all the members of Kurenai 5. Then again we also had these special evenings when there was just the two of us. I still was unable and way too shy to tell her how I felt, what I felt and everything I desired. My message was still hidden and the words never left my lips. Yet when she held me close, I didn’t need any words.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miya Rurika (Miyacchi) x Tenju Mitsuki (Mikkii)


	4. A Top Star's Diary

Xxxx/xx/xx

 

So… You know the thing is… I’m not even sure why I’m writing this down. I was told that writing down what bothers you somehow helps and out of all people, I’m surely the one with the most chaotic thoughts going on right now. I’m not even sure what this is or why I’m even thinking about it. I best start from the beginning.  
So there is this girl you see? She’s pretty and all, but then again, there are only a few who are not in this company. She joined us only a few weeks ago, rehearsed with us for a special. I’m not even sure why they decided to put her into my troupe. She gets along with a few others, her classmates I think and a few underclassmen she seems to know. I never really paid much attention to her then. But you know that one day, she came up to me and asked for advice. I’m the kind of person who tries to help others, so naturally I did. She showed me what she had trouble with and I told her how to solve it. It was something about her balance during a specific step. I’m not even sure about that. But from then it started to be more and more confusing. I started watching her, gave her even more advice about how to improve. One day, Kumichou came up to me. She pulled my sleeve and told me that I’m not supposed to give that woman who was just with us for the special so much attention. I had to take care of my own troupe. I’m still not quite sure about what she meant by saying that. I was doing my job, alright? I always do. I’m focused. My partner scolded me as well for something I still can’t get. I was just helping her, okay? She’s talented, I know how it works, so why not help her? And she’s nice. We talked just a little bit, but I can tell she’s a nice person. I can tell that she’s not comfortable with people she doesn’t know and so am I, but rehearsing together always leads to some chitchat sooner or later. She’s funny, too. And she has a nice laugh. So to conclude all of this: she’s beautiful, talented, funny and not to mention smart.  
It isn’t like this okay? Hell you’re just a book. And I can still feel you glaring at me. I’m not like that. I’m not… well… like… into this. I’m just writing down what I’m thinking. Maybe that clears my mind a bit.  
After the special, she was put in my troupe again as a guest. And no, it was not my idea. Yuuhi came up to me, asked if everything is alright and when I said we were one actress short, she suggested her friends to join. The directory thought this was a wonderful idea and we had switched roles. Not that I mind. We always have this in different plays. It gave me the opportunity to take a look at the woman who was surely going to be Top Star soon. And I had to say, seeing her act like that was an experience. She has a smooth voice, the way she moves always makes me think of water and she has a really amazing expression. Well I could handle that. There are a few people who make me think that. ~~I just think~~  
Why am I even confused because of this? She’s nothing special aside from the fact she will be top Star. Whatever. I just put this away and stop thinking of it. I’m invited over to dinner by Wataru, Osa and Komu. A few other people are coming, too. I’ll just let this slip.  
  
Xxxx/xx/xx

Okay. For the record: I really intended to never touch this book again. I really did. But this evening was so… oh god. Confusing. I don’t know how to put it. Here’s what happened:  
Wataru picked me up and we went over to that restaurant where we were supposed to have dinner. Everything was fine. We talked and laughed, but we entered there and I felt like rushing out of the restaurant again. No one told me SHE would be there! Do they like throwing me off-guard or something? I’m just trying to get some distance between my work and me and they just invite her over! Well she is Osa’s best friend but that’s not the point here. The point is she was wearing a dress. A dress! As an Otokoyaku! She shouldn’t be allowed to do that! Well it was fitting her, but I feared that it would fall down every second without any straps to hold it up. She shouldn’t be allowed to show off that little beauty-mark she has on her upper leg or how sharp her shoulders really are. At one point I even thought about just making her taking it off, but I couldn’t just strip her in public, can I? By the way: I now know why there is so much chaos inside my head. It’s because of her eyes. Something about that makes me just go crazy. The way they shine, how deep and dark they are and how bright they are at the same time. God I need to ignore her to get her eyes out of my mind. I’ll just do for that. It doesn’t help me that I see her tomorrow again. I need a shower now.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

I’m just so glad this is over. Avoiding her at all costs wasn’t really easy for me, but I did it. She came up to me once or twice, called for me, but I pretended I wouldn’t hear her. I need to set my mind on different things. Wataru already scolded me for not keeping track of what she was telling me. Little does she know. Now that she is back in Hanagumi, I can go on just as I used to. Everything will be fine. I will retire soon anyway.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

What the hell? I think fate is playing tricks on me. I was fine with Kurara retiring and I expected to get another person to play Elisabeth in my Sayonara-show. But… why… why her? I can’t handle her being around me, I can’t stand her watching into my eyes. ~~It went so far that it starts to disgust me.  
Okay that may is a little harsh. It isn’t disgusting me. It’s more like I can’t stand the fact that I can’t control myself when she’s looking at me. Her cute attitude and her smile, the way she can get serious at times fascinates me. She’s just… oh god how do I put this? I can’t really decide of what to think of this. On the one hand, I really enjoy her company. She’s funny and we can go on talking like forever. I don’t even have that with Wataru. But I’m not like that. I’m not falling for anyone.~~

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

I was doing pretty well today. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I helped Asako pinning back her hair. I have to ask her what shampoo she uses tomorrow. She smells so nice.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

The choreographer yelled at me today for not keeping contact as I’m supposed to. Who does he think he is? It’s my decision how close I move in.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

So… I was a bit angry today, okay? I couldn’t sleep very well and I was still bothered about the scolding I got yesterday. I know I could move in closer, but I just don’t want to. Great. Now I need extra-practice for that stupid kissing-scene.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

And there I thought my mind was finally over that. It isn’t. It just gets worse. I just want to get on with it and retire damn it! Can’t we just replace Asako with another so I can stop thinking of her breathing against my skin when we stage-kiss? I don’t want to feel her hands on my back and her body under my fingers. I don’t want to notice that new perfume I recommended to her a few days ago. It drives me nuts. ~~Just let her kiss me by accident please.~~

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

You’re not making this easier for me.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

Got yelled at by Wataru. Just leave me alone, okay? It wasn’t my idea to go on practicing after rehearsals. We need to get this dance done within the next 3 days. I know the steps, but she still steps on my feet. We have another practice tomorrow.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

Well… uhm… okay…  
How do I put this? ~~~~So we were in the rehearsal room~~~~  
 ~~We thought it would be a good idea~~  
 ~~Since we still couldn’t  
 ~~It was late  
 ~~She was starting all of this~~~~  
Who am I even kidding? It was me. I lost my self-control. It was just… we danced and we were so into it. Before we started she said “Just hold me close”. I just… I lost it then. I tried to calm myself, but when I stepped back, she was after me, always telling me that it was okay if I stayed closer. But I wasn’t keeping my distance for her sake. Damn it. I was supposed to lift her up, just an easy figure, but when she wrapped her arms around my neck, when I looked into her eyes, I just… I couldn’t stop myself. I swear she tasted like cherries. But still I hope she isn’t angry for me just running afterward…~~

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

So she isn’t angry. Fine. Just don’t talk to me anymore after you had your tongue in my mouth. Just continue ignoring me. See if I care.

Xxxx/xx/xx

She still avoids me. Fine. How long is she going to just go over to Yuuhi like she did for the past week? She can’t just… not talk to me until the end of rehearsals.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

Shit. Okay. I care! I fucking care! Just talk to me! I can’t stand this silent treading! This is going on for days! At least look at me like I’m a human being!

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

Great. Just great. She’s still giving me the cold shoulder, my thoughts just become even more chaotic ~~and all that is in my mind lately is that I want to press her against the next wall and check if she really tastes like cherries.  
I really just want to tell her I’m sorry if I offended her. I just… I really like her. ~~More than I should and more than I admitted until now.~~~~

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

I told her I love her. What now? Am I just continuing sitting inside my room, crying like I did the past days? Wataru is still angry with me and no one else will come over. Whatever. I’ll just throw this piece of junk

 

 

I love you, too, Saeko


	5. A Top Star's Diary (Part 2)

Xxxx/xx/xx

I haven’t picked this up in while, did I? It feels like forever since I wrote something down like this. For once, I have a reason and no random things about the weather, how much I hate cleaning, how lazy I am or how stupid Yoh-chan is for once. Reading through the old pages somehow makes me want to go back to my school days, even though what happened to me the last few weeks wasn’t really all that bad either.   
So for starters: I was put with Tsukigumi for one of the TCA-specials where I was supposed to take part with Kashi. They put me there because Yoh-chan was there as well and the three of us always made a great team. I still think Kashi has a thing for Yuuhi by the way and no matter if she refuses to admit it, I can see it when she’s looking at her. I wonder how those two lovebirds will work it out, if they work it out at all. Yuuhi never really was very passionate about relationships. I’m not either, but unlike her I can admit that I had one crush or another on other persons. I think Masa-chan is still angry with me for kissing her while I was drunk that one time. Luckily she is still my best friend and we both promised to just forget about it.   
I’m distracting here. So… As I said we were together in this special. I was still practicing with Yoh-chan and Kashi but I somehow couldn’t get those moves right. Neither of us did. I am used to always go asking the Top Star for help and I did this time as well. She didn’t seem to mind me asking about advice and she happily gave it to me. Ayaki seems to be a really nice person. Yuuhi told me she’s a really nice Top Star and always caring about people. I have to admit that I think she’s really beautiful. Like… extraordinary beautiful. No wonder she was made Top Star. I’m not even sure why I’m writing this down.  
Some time later, Yuuhi came up to me, asked me if I wanted to take part in another Tsukigumi-play as a guest-star. Osa was still behaving kind of strange then if my memory serves me right. Maybe she’s stressed out lately. Well I’m not so sure about what this whole play is about, I learned my lines already, but well… I don’t even know why I agreed to it. When Yuuhi asked me I was thinking, that this would be my chance to talk to Ayaki once again without blaming myself like a little school-girl. Well we will see how things will go. I really want to talk to her again. I’m admiring her and maybe I can get one advice or another from her. We’ll see how rehearsals go.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

Sometimes I’m really not so sure if I still want to be in this play anymore. I put my heart into it, yes, but I get the feeling that Yuuhi starts flirting with me in a really inappropriate way. Much for Kashi’s agony. I can feel her glaring at me when I talk to Yoh-chan. It was even worse when Yuuhi and I went for shopping and when Kashi asked what I got, I told her about that dress Yuuhi had picked out for me. I’m not really the person to wear dresses, I despise female roles, but that one is rather pretty. It’s black, strapless and knee-long, but cut in on one side. Maybe I’ll wear it for that dinner that Osa invited me in. I couldn’t really understand what she was mumbling about when she invited me in, but it surely will be alright if I show up there in a dress. Masa-chan always wanted to see me in one anyway. Maybe I get a second chance?

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

I talked to Ayaki once again during rehearsals. I was right: she really IS a very nice person. I can’t remember if I ever talked so much to somebody I barely know. But I have to say that she doesn’t really harmonize well with Kurara. They are just so different from one another and for what I can say: they don’t like each other. At least not that much. They hardly even talk. Well it’s not my problem. I’m just happy that Ayaki seems to be fine with me being with Tsukigumi and talking to her on a regular basis. I swear I can sometimes see her in the corner of my eyes watching me and I have to admit that I like that. I just hope I don’t get a crush on her and her charming attitude. I’ll just concentrate on that dinner I’ll have with Osa tonight. By the way: Masa-chan will surely be surprised when I show up there in a dress.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

Things did not really go as planned. It was not only Masa-chan there when I went to have dinner with her, the other Top Stars were there as well. I was so embarrassed. I’m not supposed to be seen within a dress by anyone aside my friends, am I? I felt them staring at me and I can tell that they made fun of me. Wao was grinning widely at Mari and Wataru was obviously flirting until Masa-chan stepped in. Only Ayaki avoided me. I just hope she doesn’t get the wrong picture of me. I tried talking to her, but she only answered with short words and hardly looked into my eyes. I don’t want her to be… well… disappointed? I’m also just a woman, am I not? Even if I’m not good at displaying my female sides a lot. Let’s just hope it gets better once we go back to rehearsals.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

It somehow seems that she’s still angry about what happened during dinner. Ayaki seems to find every loophole to get around talking to me, avoids me at all costs. I tried sitting beside her, but she only turned her back on me and talked to Kurara instead. Yuuhi asked if something happened, but I told her no. She doesn’t need to know what happened. I’ll just wait for her to calm down and forget about all this.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

It seems she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. But that’s just for some time, right?

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

She hasn’t talked to me. Even after we finished the run with this play, she just continues to ignore me. Now I have some time off and nothing to do with it until I go back to Hanagumi. Even worse: all I can think of is what made Ayaki so angry that she simply ignores me. Did she notice that I had somewhat of a crush on her? But then again, it’s not like it usually is. I can’t really tell. I was just comfortable being around her and when I wasn’t, there was something missing. I sometimes still saw her watching me in the mirror but it was like she turned her back every time she noticed it. I’m… sad that it ended that way. I really would have liked to call her my friend. Once I’m back in Hanagumi, Osa will keep me busy until I forgot all about it. I know her that well by now and I she already growled at me once when she noticed that I casted an eye at Ayaki.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

So… I got this letter today and I’m still really unsure what to think of this. Basically: I’m in one of Tsukigumi’s plays again. What am I supposed to think about is? Are they transferring me now or what? I’m sick of all these guest-roles and special appearances.   
Who am I kidding? I like being with Tsukigumi. The people there are nice and I know a bunch of them already. I work well with them. I just don’t want to be seen by Ayaki as an outsider all the time. At least she treats me like that. I know I look good in a dress, but… Elisabeth? Really? As far as I can tell, Tsukigumi has a lot cute Musumeyaku, talented ones as well. Why making an Otokoyaku doing this role? At least I can let my hear grow out a bit and I can finally try out that new shampoo my brother gave to me some time ago.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

I don’t know what happened, but Saeko somehow decided to talk to me again. Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy it and that perfume she recommended to me just smells amazing, it just seemed so pressed on. She was stiff and way too formal. At least she offered me to call her by her first real name. Well actually… I forced mine onto her and she thought it was only fair if I would call her by hers. I like her real name. Buu-chan seems to enjoy it as well when I told him about it today.   
Well however I’m still worried about future rehearsals. Sae-chan seems really stiff sometimes and not comfortable around me and I know there is a kissing scene at the end of ‘Elisabeth’. I’m not sure how she will react to that if we start rehearsing that. Maybe I should just enjoy her company until then. She helped me pin my hair back today and I have to say that her hand in my hair feels really great. I should make her do my hair more often without Yuuhi and Kiriyan pulling on them at the same time.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

There. I knew that she would have trouble with this. We were just rehearsing that scene where Tod and Elisabeth meet for the first time and she could still hardly look into my eyes. Some professional she is. I have to admit that she’s rather cute when she’s shy like that. We still can talk to one another and she seems to be more comfortable around me than before. At least I have that. I really hope she will be more comfortable with me after we did this a couple of times so the director can stop yelling at her for everything she does.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

I can’t get out of my mind how good her hand feels in mine. When I lay my hand just above her heart, my fingertips touching her shoulder, I could feel her heart pounding against my hand. It’s kind of tingling. It still is. I told Masa-chan that I’m slightly confused about what is happening and she gave me that particular look when she disapproves of something in return. Sae-chan is really strange when we rehears that kissing-scene in the end of the play, that the distance is way too far to look real. Maybe I’ll try something different tomorrow even though I know Masa-chan will tell me not to once she comes over.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

I did something else today. Saeko somehow was even more starch than usual. We were giving another shot for the kissing scene again and I slung my arms around her waist, lay my hands on her back and pulled her in a bit more. She was stiffening up but at least she stayed like that for a couple of seconds. I can’t really tell, but she surely peeked through her eyelids to look at me. She sometimes does that.   
During the break, I took her hand and asked if everything is okay and if I should just continue keeping my distance from her. She shook, but she let me do it and said no. I’m not getting her at all. One moment she smiles at me, we dance together and I feel so good when she holds me and practicing with her, the next she acts like she’s scared of me. I really want her holding me close. To be honest: I would kiss her for real if that would make it better.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

Sae-chan really can be really childish if she just wants to. It wasn’t my idea to do the dance like that and still I get yelled at. I just try to get into it, I try letting myself go, but what am I supposed to do if Saeko decides to come up with this? I get yelled at when I accidently step on her foot. At least that’s some kind of attention I get from her. Then again I can’t help it. When we do that final dance, when I look into her eyes, I just forget everything for a second and I stumble. The director ordered us to have private practice after rehearsals in our free time and show him what we managed to achieve the day after. We only have three days to do so. I just hope we can break the ice somehow.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

I really don’t know what to do anymore. ~~I just I wanted to It just  
~~ We were just rehearsing like we were told to. I tried helping her. I told her to just hold me close. I thought maybe that would help her and that it would make her lose her fear in front of me. I know I’m still an Otokoyaku and that this is much easier to do with a Musumeyaku but… What am I supposed to do? It was just the two of us and I could already tell that something was wrong. I know I was dreaming about how it would feel like if she was kissing me. Not stage-kissing but getting an actual kiss. I just couldn’t resist any more. I really wanted to do the figure, I tried, but my legs and my arms moved on their own and instead of having her lift me up I pulled her in. I didn’t expect her to kiss me for real. I thought she would pull back and yell at me instead and we could fight this out like the one time I did with Masa-chan. I just couldn’t restrain myself. I know I may have forced myself a bit too far on her and that I was wrong when I buried my fingers in her amazingly soft hair ~~but I just I~~  
I just don’t know what to do anymore. Maybe I should just keep my distance for the next few days until she calms down. I still can’t get her scared look out of my mind.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

Ayaki simply walked past me today with her head down. When we rehears, she doesn’t look at me at all. Again. If she does, I can see that she’s focusing something far behind me.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

We still don’t talk. I can’t stand her just not talking to me all the time, so I moved my stuff over to Yuuhi when I enter rehearsals. She either doesn’t want me around or she doesn’t notice that I want her talking to me first. I just want to sort this out.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

I’m not quite sure if Ayaki even notices how much it pains me or if she even cares. Masa-chan yelled at me not so long ago for still thinking about this. I know a kiss isn’t that much of a deal, but I somehow feel this was different. She doesn’t understand. I’m still thinking back to it all the time and I can’t remember if I wanted to kiss any person so badly again in my life. I want to feel her hair under my fingers again. I want to feel her slightly panting into my mouth when I pull it softly. I want to feel her hands on my back and my shoulder, holding me close and I want to feel her without the binding. Just… her.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

It’s hard for me to tell if my new approach was right but I couldn’t help myself. Rehearsals are slowly ending, we get less and less time and I really just wanted to tell her I’m sorry. I just want to talk to her again even if all I can think of is placing myself on her lap and kissing the breath out of her. I wasn’t really talking to her or looking at her since I still fear finding that scarred eyes again, but when I placed myself beside her, I was just barely brushing the back of my hand against her leg. I tried catching her eyes when we rehearsed. I’m still scared of what I she will tell me when I try talking to her.  
I need her so much. I need to talk to her. At least I could ask her if she wants to start over again.

 

Xxxx/xx/xx

 ~~Today~~  
Finally we  
I  
There  
Yuuhi and Kiriyan  
I’m sitting over this opened page for over an hour now. I don’t know what to write. I don’t know how to ease my thoughts. I haven’t seen her for days. She called in sick for the rest of the week, having a fever, but I know she’s not. I pulled her aside the other day. I told her I’m sorry. I told her I wanted to start over, I didn’t want to lose her and that she was too precious to me. I expected her to start yelling at me. I was just pressed against the wall beside the door and she was just a few inches away. “I can’t start over”, she said. I can still hearing her say this. It rings inside my ears ever since then. She told me she would never be able to start over because she loved me. She loves me. And she didn’t even give me the chance to respond before she ran off again. I’m scared of what she will tell me when I suddenly stand in front of her door so I will just write this down:

 

Dear Sae-chan,  
I’m writing this note so you have any kind of clue of what is happening when I shove my diary into your arms. When I do, I’m just too scared. I never wanted you to be angry. I never wanted you to be sad. All I want is to hold you close, to keep you warm and to comfort you. I know you’ll retire but that doesn’t mean I will give up on you.

I love you.  
Asako


	6. Somewhat Delicate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AsakoxSaeko

“… Aren’t you supposed to wear a skirt?”  
“What? What makes you think that?”  
“Well…”  
She crooked her eyebrows while she thought about it. On the one hand, she was right, on the other however… Asako WAS playing Elisabeth after all. Asako gave her that look once more, pouted slightly.  
“I didn’t choose to play Elisabeth. At least leave me my pants.”  
Saeko grinned slightly, crossed her arms while the two of them made their way through the hallway.  
“I thought you’re going to be a bit more female at least until all of this is over with.”  
Once more Asako grinned, punched the older woman’s upper arm slightly and giggled shortly after.  
“You wish.”  
The Top Star stayed quiet, smiled just for herself. Actually she would. Ever since she got to know the younger woman, ever since she was a guest in Tsukigumi for the first time, they had been flirting with one another, subtle and more friendly-flirting, but Saeko never minded it. She wasn’t really a touchy person, however she liked young-Sena. She was a good actress, a very good Otokoyaku and yet she wondered if she was able to play this role as well. Sure Elisabeth was a strong woman, but even though that role was so strong, Elisabeth herself was delicate in some way. Saeko wondered if Asako was able to come even close to pull it off.  
The two of them entered the hall, already saw Kiriyan and Yuuhi fooling around on their spots. Yuuhi was sitting beside the younger actress, had a grumpy face while Kiriyan softly pulled the other woman’s cheek.   
“Oh come on. Who’s a cute Rudolph?”, she said out loudly as if she was talking to Finch. “You are. Come on. Give me a smile.”  
“Well you two seem to be enjoying yourselves”, Saeko said and Asako at her side laughed while Kiriyan grinned widely.  
  
The days passed and it was easy to see that Asako somehow struggled with her role of Elisabeth. Her voice wasn’t trained to hit the high notes, yet she couldn’t practice too much or else her voice would surely crack. And she still had the Otokoyaku in her movements. Sure she was still elegant while she did what she did but it felt wrong. Asako let herself fall on the bench beside her with her legs spread and leaned on her thighs, the script in her hand. Luckily she was still wearing pants. Saeko looked over to her, shook her head and earned a raised eyebrow.  
“What?”, the younger one asked.  
“Totally feminine what you are doing there.”  
It took the younger Otokoyaku a few short seconds to realize, blushed slightly and sat up straight, closed her legs.  
“Sorry. I still try to get used to it.”  
“You should.”  
“I played a female role once. I can do that.”  
“Scarlet, I know. I watched it last night.”  
Asako blinked and looked over to her.  
“Why?”  
“To check if you can really get used to it. And to be honest: you were just an Otokoyaku stuffed in a dress.”  
“Are you making fun of me?”  
“I try to help you.” Saeko sat up straight and looked more intensely at the other woman. “Maybe you should really start at least dressing more feminine. Maybe that helps.”  
“I can still decide for myself what to wear”, Asako growled slightly, however it just tickled out a smile out of the older woman.  
“I know. I know. I’m just giving you hints. And maybe I just want to see you in a skirt. I swear it would look cute on you.”  
She felt Asako staring at her back when she got up to rehears with a few younger women.  
  
Somehow the Elisabeth-actress seemed to take her advice, even though the clothes she decided to wear were… different. Saeko guessed they were some of her mother’s. They seemed a bit short at some points and tight at her shoulders. Then again, it was nice to see her slowly getting used to moving in the long skirt. She still had her baggy-pants under them however. Sometimes she sat down beside the Top Star, pulling up the skirt over her legs and just sat there in all Otokoyaku-manner, yet she did that less and less. Her hair became longer and started to fall in her eyes during rehearsals and one day, Saeko just brought some pins with her.  
“Where did you get these from?”, Yuuhi asked while picking one of the silver pins up. “They are pretty.”  
Saeko felt herself blushing. They were silver hair-pins with small flowers at the end made out of some fake diamonds.   
“I just have them, okay?” She took the hairpin, made Asako turn to her and pulled back a bit of her hair before pinning her bangs before pinning them back. “There. That’s better.”  
The younger woman grinned widely while Yuuhi laughed once more and got up, walked over to Hiromi.  
“Who’s the lady now, Sae-chan? I never even knew you have something like this.”  
“Oh shut up, Asako. I just thought they are cute.”  
“So am I cute now?”  
“No, you’re not”, Saeko answered without hesitating, earning a face from Asako that was somewhere between hurt and sad. The Top Star smiled, poked her cheek. “You’re not cute. You’re beautiful. I can’t wait to see you in a dress.”  
  
The following few days felt weird. The usually so light-hearted flirting between Top Star and Nibante became way more straight forward with Saeko complimenting Asako while said younger woman usually took it with a shy smile, her head down and her cheeks red. In return, Asako took advantage of her appearance, gave Saeko a seductive smile and made the Top Star blush as well, look away and concentrate on different things.   
During the break, Saeko still stared into her script. She just finished her last song so all that was left for her was rehearsing her songs and her acting. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned halfway, yet put on a smile as soon as she noticed her Elisabeth in front of her.  
“What can I do for you?”, the Top Star asked and closed the book in her hands.  
“I… I wondered…” Strange. It was so unusual for Asako to stammer like that.   
“What is it?”  
“I just wondered… if you could help me with something.”  
The younger woman was red up to her ears, lowered her voice and got half a step closer to the older woman.  
“Sure. What is it?”  
“Y-you know I… Uhm…”  
“Just out with it. I don’t bite. Only if you want me to.”  
The younger woman’s face became deep red and she stared on her feet, knitting the skirt she wore.   
“Do you remember when you asked me to be more feminine?”  
“Sure. What about it?”  
“Well I… I went shopping lately and I saw this really beautiful dress.” Saeko raised her eyebrow. “It’s really pretty and I thought about buying it but… I’m not sure if it fits me right.”  
“And what can I do about it?”  
The younger woman became a bit smaller on the spot. It was easy to see that her request was embarrassing to her.  
“I wondered if you could come with me and tell me if it suits me when I put it on.”  
“So… you want me to go shopping with you?”  
For the first time since that conversation had started, Asako looked up into her eyes, suddenly way more confident.  
“If you want to put it that way: yes. I would like to.”  
Silently, Saeko hoped it was an invitation for a date, though she scolded herself not to get her hopes up.  
  
They agreed to do their little shopping tour on their day off. As expected, the two of them arrived at the same time where they agreed to meet and both of them late. Asako decided to go for pants once more, yet Saeko didn’t fail to notice that she moved slightly different from how she did in the beginning. More elegant more… she couldn’t put her finger on it. Yet when Asako dragged her through the streets into one store after the other, they both found some new clothes to wear. At one point, the younger woman became a bit nervous and started to bite her bottom lip. She refused to tell what’s wrong, but Saeko quickly found out why. They went inside the store and Asako went straight for one piece of clothing: a beautiful, white dress with black edges and a black rose on one strap. The Top Star’s jar dropped even more when Asako put it on, smiled a bit and showed herself in front of the older woman.   
“Am I beautiful yet?”, Asako asked. All Saeko was doing was staring at the younger actress, walked slowly around her and carefully touched the rose before looking up into her eyes. “Sae-chan?”  
The Top Star tried to think of something to say, at least something she was safe with and did not get Asako the wrong idea, yet her words failed her. Instead she smiled a bit and pulled back a strand of the younger woman’s hair.   
“More than beautiful. It just makes me wonder…”  
“About what?”  
“If… I…” Saeko gulped, looked over her shoulder and lowered her voice. “I’ll tell you when it’s just the two of us, okay?”  
Asako simply nodded. They were not supposed to talk about this in public.  
  
“Dear god. I’m so sorry.”  
“Don’t be.”  
“But…”  
“It really is okay. You’re only helping me after all.”  
“I’m not supposed to help you like that.” Saeko held her head and sighed softly. “I’m just making things more complicated.”  
“And what if I want this to be this way?”   
She felt Asako resting her head between her shoulders, breathing softly against her back. Saeko carefully grabbed the other’s hand, held it tight.  
“We both know we’re not allowed to.”  
“That doesn’t mean it’s wrong.” The other moved just a bit. “What’s the real problem?”  
“… It shouldn’t be me putting on a dress. Not yet.”  
Asako’s lips smiled against her bare back as she pushed aside the fake hairpiece and putting a soft kiss on her neck. Saeko still felt her own lipstick sticking on the other woman’s lips while she trailed down over her neck and shoulder, stopped in front of the red strap of her dress. The younger woman’s arms wrapped around her hip, pulled her closer.  
“You’re beautiful”, Asako whispered inside her ear, making her shiver a bit under the touch. “And it helps me. You’re more delicate than I am.”  
Saeko turned and lay her hands on Asako’s shoulders, carefully trailed the black shirt with her fingertips.  
“I still need to show you how to move properly in a dress.”  
“Am I not elegant enough yet?”  
“Not yet. You’re just somewhat delicate.”


	7. It's just a game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Saeko - Ayaki Nao  
> Hiromi - Ayana Oto  
> Gaichi - Hatsukaze Midori  
> Yuuhi - Oozora Yuuhi  
> Asako - Sena Jun  
> Kashi - Takeshiro Kei  
> Morie - Aoki Izumi  
> Tom - Todoroki Yuu  
> Magee - Seijou Kaito  
> Wataru - Kozuki Wataru

_Saeko_

“Come on. You’ll look great.”  
“Are you sure about this?”  
“Don’t make such a fuss about it. You know you look hot in this.”  
“I know. I know. But…” I sighed.  “I have no choice, do I?”  
“Nope.”  
Shaking my head, I take the pants I was offered and quickly slip into them. I actually never wanted to put them on when I was going out with friends or, in this case, with my sister, but even though she was younger than me, she could be quite persuasive. I had to admit I like those pants, however they are really tight. Not like the average “Your legs look very thin”-type, I mean more like the “one move and they will rip clean open”-type with buttons instead of a zipper in front, deep black and with silver markings on the side of one leg. Well at least I’m not going to need a belt for this one. The pants stuck on my hip on their own. At least I was allowed to pick out my shirt on my own or at least I thought so. Just as I pick up my favorite one, a black one with white stripes, Hiromi rips it out of my hands.   
“What the… hey give that back!”, I demand. Sometimes I wondered who is the older sister.  
“You really think you can wear that one with those pants? No way.”  
I roll my eyes. I know I have a great sense in fashion as long as I’m not under stress or anything among those lines. I get stressed easily and tend to let my mind wander off to different things. Sometimes it happens that I fetch something my parents gave to me as presents and wear it without thinking about that it may made me look like a clown. I watch as Hiromi goes through my clothes again before she pulls out a plain, white shirt and throws it over to me. Somehow I manage to catch it, look at it and crook my eyebrows.  
“Hiromi… that’s white.”  
“And?”  
I look up, raise my eyebrows and look at her in disbelieve.   
“In case you didn’t notice…” I pull the bra-strap on my shoulder. I was fine with being half in my underwear in front of my sister. She was in hers as well. “… I’m wearing black underneath and I don’t really feel like changing.”  
“… Your point?”  
“It will shine through.”  
“It will not. Trust me. When we arrive there, everyone will be tipsy already anyway. It’s dark and no one will notice whatsoever.”  
  
 _Hiromi_

To be honest: I like dressing up my sister. I really do. At least when I have something planned in the back of my head. Well this was not my idea in the first place, but Gaichi’s. We would meet up with her later on. My goal for the moment was to dress up my big sister as seductive as possible. I had no clue where I was going with that or what would happen that evening, but it would do. It would work or Saeko would be mad at me for the rest of her life. You see,  we have some time off, so a few Tsukigumi-people came up with the idea to throw a party. I told Gaichi, with her being a long-time friend with my sister, and she totally liked the idea. She even rented a small club for the evening and my friends and I took care of the rest. We invited all of Tsukigumi over, a few of Saeko’s friends and some other people. That whole evening served just one purpose and aside from my friends, Gaichi and a few other Tsukigumi-people, no one knew.   
“Now hurry up, sis”, I say and walk over to the bed to finally get dressed. “Or we miss the party.”  
“It wasn’t my idea to dress up this much”, she answers me and I grin slightly. Luckily she was used to me picking out clothes for her sometimes or else this surely would have been very hard to pull off. I grin again for myself when Saeko finally put on the shirt. Her bra shines through, but it would be alright.   
  
_Yuuhi_

“What the… what do you mean ‘game’? I never signed up to that!”  
“Come on, Asa-chan. It will be fun.”  
I see her rolling her eyes while I look over to Kashi and grin a bit. We just arrived at the party and just as we did, Masao came up to us, grinning over both her ears. Kashi also seems fine with what the young woman just told us and Kashi just went on teasing Asako about it.  
“But… Why? Is everyone included?”  
“Sure”, Masao nods and grabs Ai-chan’s wrist who just happens to stand next to her, pulls her close and lays her arm around her. “I got mine right here.”  
I look over to the two women I arrived with. I know this is all a show, but I decide to play along. It is just for making Asako and Saeko get along better, isn’t it? I still have no clue how Hiromi came up with that, but I sadly had to agree it is all necessary. From the very beginning, the two didn’t get along very well. Sure, rehearsals were fun, but the longer they went on, the more it became obvious that my friend and my Top Star despised each other on a level I can’t comprehend. They were sometimes arguing in the middle of the room where everyone was able to see them, became louder and it usually ended with Saeko pulling out her authorities of being Top Star, which she usually never did, and ended the argument with her being the winner. It left Asako sitting beside me all day, sulking and being angry at everything. The whole troupe agreed that we had to change that. I sat between the two of them not so long ago and overheard them arguing about the very same thing about one another. I think they just need to get to know one another better.   
“Fine”, Asako sighs beside me and lets her hand run through her hair. She looks stunning. “What exactly is this about?”  
  
 _Masao_

In any other situation, I would have been running away that very point. Yet I agreed to set up this whole farce and with Ai-chan still in my arm, smiling innocently, I feel at least a bit more comfortable. I release the woman in my arm and stand up straight and grab Ai-chan’s hand.   
“Okay. So we each got assigned to a partner. The game is that we stick with them the whole evening and treat them like lovers. Or at least as good friends.”  
Sena crooks her eyebrows in disbelieve.  
“What purpose does it serve?”  
“Fun”, I blur out without even thinking about it. “Oh and we get to know each other better.  I heard that Remi is flirting with Ryuu right about now…” I am slapped by Ai-chan on the upper arm, squeal in surprise and rub it. Man this woman has strength.  
“Come on, Asako. It will be fun. It’s just one big play this evening and we still can hang out.” Kashi smiles at Sena until said woman sighs in defeat.  
“Okay. Okay. Whatever. I need a cocktail or two then however.” She looks over to Yuuhi. I can’t help but grin.  
“That’s not how it works, Sena”, I say and the three friends look at me in surprise. I know Yuuhi is involved in all of this, so she surely plays along. I point over to Yuuhi and Kashi. “The two of them came inside before you did. So they will be a couple for tonight. You need to wait for the next person to come in.”  
  
 _Asako_

Oh great. Not only was I basically forced to go there, I was also involved in a game I never signed up to. At least I looked somewhat decent. I went for white pants and a black shirt, rolled up the sleeves and let a small, golden necklace with a small heart on it around my neck. Masao gave me quick information about this whole ‘game’ and at first I thought: Alright. I could just stick around with Yuuhi the whole evening and I would be fine. I once overheard Masa-chan about this ‘game’ and it seems to be a Tsukigumi-thing. However when I look over to Yoh-chan to ask if she wants to be my partner, Masao tells me otherwise.   
“You need to wait for the next person to come in”, she says and I can’t help but roll my eyes. So it is Yuuhi and Kashi, right? Great. I know Kashi has a thing for my long-time friend and that she would surely take this opportunity to try hitting on her again. This time, Yuuhi can’t even refuse to it. I just hope this wouldn’t turn into something serious. The last thing I need is complications between my close friends. I just want to go back to Hanagumi.   
“And what am I supposed to do now?”, I ask and cross my arms, look over to Kashi, who gladly takes Yuuhi’s arm and grins up to her.  
“Let’s just wait here”, Yoh-chan says shyly and points over to a desk just a few feet away. She somehow seems to ignore Kashi clinging on her arm.  
  
 _Saeko_

Some time later, me and Hiromi meet up with Gaichi. Much to my surprise, there are two faces I didn’t expect there. Tom and Wataru. I’m really happy to see the Hoshigumi-Top Star, smile widely at her.  
“Glad to see you here, Wataru”, I say softly. In the corner of my eye, I notice Hiromi staring at me. She know I had a slight crush on my friend some time ago, however I know hers was way bigger. She was somehow jealous that I actually have somewhat of a chance and at that point I even think about risking it this evening. I’m not the person who likes to party, so why not getting something out of it? She grins back and I look over to Hiromi. “By the way… are we playing again tonight?”  
“Not that I know”, Gaichi interferes and she ignores the confused look Wataru gives her. I sigh softly. So much for my chance. I never liked this game anyway.   
  
_Gaichi_

Just as Saeko, Wataru right beside her, walked by me, I smile over to Hiromi. Actually I never planned inviting Tom over to a party. I knew she was shy and I knew she never really liked all the loud music and/or alcohol. The only thing that made her interested in all of this was the little game we had set up to bring closer the current and the possibly next Tsukigumi-Top Star. I heard rumors about Sena getting transferred, but nothing was set in stone yet. Then again, I have my very own reasons.  Just a few seconds ago, I got a message that the three friends, meaning Kashi, Yuuhi and Asako herself, arrived at the location and I sent a few messages to other people, telling them to make the rest of the troupe wait outside until we arrive. That was one more reason why I had invited Tom over. We needed an uneven number of people. The rules implied that always two people hook up for the evening and if there is only one, she needed to wait for the next person to come in. Luckily I rented the club, so it is invited guests only. Hiromi made Yuuhi get in first with Kashi so Asako had to wait for the next person.   
“Okay let’s go then”, I say to Hiromi and Tom and we walked through the streets. I’m sure this would work. I know Saeko well enough by now to know that Asako was actually just her type to at least be friends with. They just had a rough start, but nothing we can’t fix. I also hope that it makes Saeko forget about her crush on Wataru. I don’t really like her.  
  
 _Asako_

We sit here and for some reason, no one comes in for an eternity. Or maybe someone did and I just failed to notice. Kashi got us something to drink, a few cocktails, and immediately starts flirting with Yuuhi in quite a way. I just roll my eyes on it, but I have to admit that it is kind of funny to look at Yoh-chan being all embarrassed. She never did well when people flirted with her. That was… IF she even noticed it.   
Suddenly I hear Masao squealing loudly, look up in my somewhat tipsy state and blinked slightly. She runs over to me, grabs my wrist.  
“M-Masao… what… Hey!”  
I am literally pulled out of my seat, dragged with her and thrown past her, knocking over the person who still stands inside the doorframe in the process. Gladly I am held by another, taller woman. I turn around, my face deep red and look at Masao dancing on her spot like she just won the first price in the lottery.   
“What was that supposed to do?”  
“You have your partner. Good luck and have fun!”  
With that, she runs off.  
  
 _Saeko_

Ouch. Now that was quite a fall. I rub my hip and stay on the hard floor for a few seconds. I was just entering the club on my own because Hiromi pulled back Wataru to fix her tag or something when Masao jumped up from her place at the door, ran past me, telling me to stay on the spot, squealed and suddenly throwing someone at me. I can’t really tell in the dark who it is. My eyes still aren’t used to the strange light inside.  
“You have your partner. Good luck and have fun!”, I hear and look up. I can’t hold back a surprised “Huh?”.   
Partner? Wait…  
I get up, turn to my sister who just entered with Wataru. She scratches her cheek.  
“You knew we are playing?!”, I yell at her.   
“I… forgot?”  
I sigh. Last time we played I got hooked up with some Musumeyaku who was too scared to even look at me. However when I turn on my heel once more I meet a familiar pair of eyes and my palm hits my forehead. Why her?  
“Good evening to you, too, Ayaki.”  
  
 _Yuuhi_

I watch as Masao pulls away my friend and throws her at Saeko, literally, and how the two of them stare at one another shortly after. Hiromi quickly pulls Wataru past the two of them, her head down until she found an empty place to sit at. Somehow I suddenly feel sorry for Asako. I knew that she doesn’t like Saeko. But the Top Star is a nice person. She just refuses to see it.  
  
 _Asako_

I am boiling with rage. Why do I get the feeling that I was fooled and walked right into a trap? Playing this ‘game’ was one thing, but I’m stuck with Ayaki. My head told me that I could just leave. No harm done. It would have been easy. I turn on my heel, search for Yoh-chan to help me out. Maybe she could suggest to leave and of course I would take her. But instead of helping me out, she turns on her place, faces Kashi and sips on her drink. Nice friend I have there. Instead I look at Ayaki once more.  
“I’m not hooking up with you”, I say and she shakes her head.  
“I’m not happy with that either. I say screw the rules and…”  
That very moment, Tom appears beside Ayaki, lays her arm around her shoulders and smiles at me. Gaichi came in just behind her.   
“I bet the two of you can’t even pretend to be lovers if you tried.”  
My jaw drops a little. Tom just leaves with Gaichi by her side and I stare after them. That was a mean trick. I was widely known that I never turn down a bet.   
  
_Tom_

“Wow that was mean”, Gaichi says as we arrive at the bar. I just go for some plain water. I really don’t like alcohol or drunk people, so I doubt I will stay long. I only came because Gaichi asked me to and to be honest: I can’t really refuse her anything. I look at her and grin slightly.   
“Why?”  
“You know Saeko never leaves out an opportunity to win a bet.”  
I grin wider.   
“That’s why I said it. Let’s see what the evening brings.”  
  
 _Ai_

I never expected the evening to go as it does. After Masao dragged me off, again I might add, we decided to watch Asako and Saeko staring at one another for some time after Tom left them. I can’t tell what happened, but I overheard the two hissing at one another to “not take it seriously” and “I’m not losing to you”. Or at least something along this. For what I can tell, the two still try to win the upper hand this evening. They never really leave the crowd or each other’s side, but all of us can see that they force the friendly words and smiles. I sit at one of the tables on the sides, watch the two ‘lovebirds’ sitting on the couch beside one another, each with a drink in their hands. At this point, I’m already drunk and my partner, who happens to be Masao for the evening, almost passed out beside me. After she set up Asako and Saeko, she grabbed the next drink and I quickly learned that she can’t handle even small amounts of alcohol. I grin and lean my head on my hands.  
“They are so cute together”, I slur loudly over the music. I see Saeko slapping Asako’s hand away as she tries to snatch away a few of the snacks the Top Star ordered. “Totally adorable.”  
Magee joined my side with Morie on her hand. They were set up as partners for the evening. Morie still doesn’t look so happy about this. I know she rather wanted to be with Mirio. Instead Magee made her sit down and placed herself on her lap. The half-American actress enjoyed this way too much.  
“What happened to Masao?”, Magee asked and I grin over to her. “Did she pass out?”  
“Not yet”, I answer, poking Masao’s side and she moves a bit on her spot. Maybe she was asleep. “But I guess she will soon. Maybe I should take her home with me.”  
I can’t help but wink at Magee.  
  
 _Saeko_

I can’t stand this. Curse my habit to prove my point all the time. Sena is terrible for a partner. She’s insensitive, she’s annoying, she steals my food all the time… and what the hell is she even wearing? Her pants are so tight that I can tell what underwear she’s wearing. Plus it’s white. I always adored white pants on Wataru and they look quite hot. That cursed necklace also always makes me want to stare on her cleavage. I try exchanging a few friendly words with her, but I can’t think of any. We sit here in silence for at least an hour now. Or two? I can’t tell. However I can tell that Tom is still watching us and I remember her bet. Not being able to pretend anything my ass. Of course I can. I’m Top Star. Maybe I can somehow start slowly and at least try to make her act in the way I want. I won’t be the reason why I lose that bet. I turn to face her and look over to her once more just as she empties her cocktail.   
“… By the way: nice necklace.” I feel strange saying that out loud. Instead I look at her empty glass and take mine. I emptied mine some time ago and I feel the strong need for another. “Can I get you another?”  
  
 _Gaichi_

I watch as the game develops and I’m not happy with it. Saeko and Asako barely look at one another, but at least they don’t leave each other’s side. Strange. Usually Saeko does so well flirting. I don’t care at some point after I had some drinks and I decide to turn to my priority goal for that evening.  
“So…”, I start while looking at Tom. With her being my partner this evening, I’m not even sure she realized it by now, flirting was so much easier. “How do you like it here?”  
Tom smiles at me and I feel warmth rushing through me. Must be the alcohol.  
“It’s quite fun. I don’t get the point of the game, but whatever. It’s fun watching all of them talking to one another so easily.”  
“The flirting sure lifts the mood. And it’s easier going on the dancefloor when you’re not alone.”  
“Sure is.” Tom looked into my eyes. “What about you?`”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You’re not flirting?”  
“I am now.”  
I watch as Tom turns red.  
  
 _Asako_

Okay. The evening isn’t so bad so far, I tell to myself. I know that’s not true. It’s horrible. All the time I see Kashi flirting with Yuuhi, getting touchy after she had one or two cocktails and Yoh-chan becoming smaller on her spot. Wataru with Hiromi sits right across from Ayaki and myself, the Tsukigumi-Star didn’t leave my side the whole evening. I can tell that Ayaki would prefer Wataru over my company, but none of us want to just blow off the bet. It’s a matter of pride and as an actress, I can totally pull off a made-up relationship with a person I don’t even like. Ayaki is terrible for a partner. She’s insensitive, she’s annoying and she always treats me like I’m just an animal. I am used to sharing my food with the people I’m with, but she just hissed at me and gave her part over to Wataru. Great fake-girlfriend you are, Ayaki. It only gets more annoying when I look at what she’s wearing. I can see the black satin-bra she’s wearing through that white shirt and for being an Otokoyaku, she had quite a pretty cleavage. I thought about complimenting about the trousers she’s wearing but I decided against it. She might get the wrong idea. I try taking another sip of my drink, however it was empty.    
“By the way…” I turn to look at Ayaki. “Nice necklace.”  
I look at her in disbelieve. Did she just compliment me? Surely just forced on chitchat like we did the whole evening until now.  
“Can I get you another?”, she continues and points on my empty glass. I blink, hand it over to her.  
“That would be nice. Thank you.”  
I can’t help but look after her when she gets up and once again I notice: her pants are really tight.   
  
_Wataru_

How did I even get into this? First I get a call from Hiromi if I wanted to go party with her and Saeko, then Gaichi out of all people shows up as well with Tom right behind her, then I get coupled up with Hiromi instead of Saeko, who I would have been way more comfortable with, and now I have to watch Sena stare after my friend.  On top of that, Hiromi is flirting with me all the time. I agree to do so as well, but only on a friendly basis and only because the rules said so. All the rules, all the flirting all around me, all the fake-couples, all the real ones as well and I don’t even want to know what is going on in the toilets. I had my arm on the backrest, rubbed the back of my neck.  
“Are you alright?”, Hiromi asks beside me and I smile at her.   
“Just tired. That’s all.”  
“Do you want to go home?”  
“No. Not yet.”  
Actually I really want to leave now but I can’t. I know Saeko will kill me tomorrow if I dare to leave her alone now with Sena.  
  
 _Hiromi_

“Do you want to go home?”, I ask, hoping she would say yes. I know I can get annoying at times, but what’s even more annoying is the way Wataru looks after my sister.  Okay I’m just a little jealous, okay? I’m fine with them being best friends and all, but I feel so left out. I actually hoped I could get to know Wataru a little better and maybe my own sister in the process.   
“No. Not yet.”  
I lean back again, cross my legs and follow Wataru’s eyes which were pinned on my sister’s butt. There had to be something I could do. I look over to Ai-chan and Masao and smile at Ai-chan’s attempt to keep Masao awake by making her dance with her and dragging her on the dancefloor. That was actually not a bad idea. I need some fun. I turn to Wataru once more.  
“Would you dance with me then?”, I ask and gain a slight confused look. Usually I’m not the one to make actions. I can understand her confusion.   
  
_Yuuhi_

Don’t get me wrong. I like Kashi. But about now, she really gets offensive. The more she drinks, the less sense of shame she has. Right now, her hand is on my upper leg and it’s just rising up. I quickly put my hand on hers. It’s even worse that I feel Asako watching us.  
“Kashige. Don’t”, I whisper to her. “What the hell are you doing?”  
I’m not quite sober myself, but at least I know what to do and what not to in public.   
“Come on, Yoh-chan”, she whispers dangerously close to my ear. “Just let me have some fun.”  
I sigh and shake my head.  
“I’m taking you home.”  
“But I don’t want to.”  
“You had too much, Kashi.”  
“No I don’t.”  
“You can’t even sit anymore.”  
She just moans out and clings on my shoulder. I turn to Asako who still sits on her spot and grins at me. I really don’t want to leave her alone. She gets along with most of the people around here, but I know how uncomfortable she is with Saeko. However she smiles at me and nods over to the door.  
“Go already. I’ll be fine.”  
I smile once more. I’m really glad I have her as a friend. Carefully I put one of Kashi’s arms around me, help her stand up. I only then realize how drunk she really is. I didn’t even pay attention to that before. I only hope that she isn’t too drunk to get home. I say goodbye once more to Asako, to Hiromi and Wataru, make my way past the dancing women and couples and leave the club. I know I have to take care of my friend the whole evening and I’m somewhat glad that I can watch over her instead of all the couples shamelessly flirting with one another.  
  
 _Morie_

I’m still not happy about being paired up with Magee. I like her, sure, I like her a lot, but she tends to be a little over the top with everything. Worst of all, she was cuddly, which I am not. Not-at-all. I like friendly hugs, like fooling around with my friends, but not like that. She’s taking that whole game way too seriously. I tried to get around her the whole evening after Masao blurred out that we are paired up. Just because I happened to be a bit late and I missed meeting up with Mirio. I could bite my own butt for doing so. I sigh and look over the table, see our Top Star at the bar and getting something to drink. I still wonder how she is able to drink this much. She even gets two drinks. I take a quick gaze over to Wataru but she still has her drink. I sigh softly.  
“What’s wrong?”, I hear Magee beside me and I continue staring down the room. “Hey. Don’t ignore me.”  
“I’m not ignoring you.”  
“Sure… Do you dislike me so much?”  
I finally turn to look at her and much to my surprise, I find her quite sad.  
“What?”  
“You heard me. You’ve been down like this the whole evening even though I’m trying to cheer you up.”  
“I’m not down.”  
“Sure you are.”  
“Magee… I’m not. Trust me. This whole evening just didn’t turn out like I wanted it to be.”  
“So you’re not happy with me as a partner?”  
“You’re just taking this game a bit too far. I’m not the touchy-feely-type.”  
“You just should have said so. You know we can decide not to participate.”  
I stop for a second. I know about this ‘rule’ that we can just aboard the game if we feel way too uncomfortable, but no one actually ever did so when they don’t have a very good reason to.   
“I know. Maybe I just didn’t want to see you unhappy. You seem to enjoy all of this after all.”  
Magee smiles at me and softly punches my upper arm.  
“I can hold back. I don’t need to be so over the top if you’re not fine with it.” I smiled at her in confusion. “I’ll get you another drink, okay?”  
“… But no alcohol please.”  
“Sure.”  
  
 _Gaichi_

Only in the corner of my eye I was still watching Saeko as I proceeded my little flirting with Tom. She is already more than tipsy, drunk and totally adorable while she is. She didn’t mind me taking her hand earlier, caressing  her beautiful fingers and sometimes pulling back a few of her hair-strands in quite a flirty manner. I swear I am so close to kissing her and I can tell she wouldn’t mind. The flirting went back and forth between the two of us. The alcohol is already in my blood, making me all warm and blushy, but I still have in the back of my head that there might be someone watching us. Well I could take her home with me so we would be alone.  
“So… we could continue partying at my place. It’s rather close by”, I say while I take a look around. My eyes find Saeko and Asako and, much to my surprise, rather close together and chatting. When did that happen? I’m not looking for once and they break the ice? I swear they are laughing.   
“I would be fine with that.” Tom’s slurring becomes really bad really quickly. I think I should really take her home before it gets worse. I want her to remember this after all. However I smile at the scenery I find and even more, I find Wataru rather annoyed at everything. Somehow I feel sorry for her, but just a little bit. Hiromi will find a way to cheer her up I think.  
  
 _Hiromi_

The air around us somewhat changed when Saeko came back with two drinks in her hand. I mean, I heard her complimenting Asako earlier, but I didn’t really expect that to break the wall the two of them had around them. While I still tried to stop Wataru from making such faces and interrupting what we set up so carefully, Saeko more and more ignored the Hoshigumi-star and gave Asako her whole attention. After that first friendly comment, they developed a small chat and this became a really big conversation about this and that. I overheard Asako talking about Osa and about her dog, I think. But wow I didn’t expect the two of them to get along THAT well after they decided to put aside the complications they had earlier. They laugh and joke and Saeko even starts putting her hand on Asako’s shoulder. She never does that if she’s not very comfortable with someone. I blame it on the alcohol. However I can tell that it doesn’t go unnoticed by Wataru. She bites her tongue really hard and stares at Asako as if she wanted to rip that necklace off her neck. I become restless on my spot. I really want to cheer her up since I knew this was going to happen. Even though it had been Wataru who rejected Saeko, she was still jealous. I get up from my spot, take her arm and pull her up.   
“What are you doing?”, she asks and looks up confused.  
“Dance with me”, I simply answer and pull her with me.  
  
 _Saeko_

Okay I change my mind. I had a complete wrong picture about the Hanagumi-actress. At first I really thought she was as arrogant as she appeared to be, but it turns out we just misunderstood each other for quite a while. She is actually quite charming and funny. And she talks a lot. And I mean A LOT. When she found a subject, there is nothing stopping her but I’m fine with that. I enjoy listening and even more I enjoy people’s faces when they are really passionate about something. The way her eyes move and how they shine is fascinating that I forget what the whole subject is about anyway. Why have I never seen that before? In some way, she is like Wataru but without all the forced on sexy-self she sometimes did. When I think about it, Asako, yes we went to real-first name basis, was also nothing like Wataru. I wonder how two people can be so alike and yet so different from one another. While she speaks I’m somehow stuck to her lips. I wonder how they taste like. What am I thinking again? I’m not supposed to. It doesn’t matter if we get along better now. I blame it on the alcohol. It always made me a little… well… cuddly and romantic. I even think about asking her to dance, but the upbeat music doesn’t fit my mood at all. Wataru always hated that about me and I wonder if Asako will mind that. That is if she decides to stick with me the whole evening. I notice my sister pulling up Wataru, dragging her to the dance-floor like she wanted to ages ago. Hiromi always gets hyped as soon as alcohol is involved.   
“Are you alright?”, I hear Asako and she cuts my thoughts. I smile at her.   
“Sure. I just really would like some fresh air.”  
Actually I’m craving for a cigarette. I hardly ever smoke but when I do, it’s usually under the influence of different cocktails or if I’m under hard pressure.   
“We can go out if you want to.”  
  
 _Magee_

I never wanted to make Morie uncomfortable in any way. I like her after all. I’m just not so sure myself about how much. However I got her something sweet to drink, no alcohol though, and sit down beside her once more. I feel my cheeks being hot and red. The two of us sit in silence beside each other and I take the opportunity to look around. There was Ai-chan on Masao’s lap, trying hard to make her partner stay awake in her drunken state. She actually seems to enjoy it. Masao’s head is on her shoulder, cuddling up close to her and Ai-chan is petting her head. The only thing missing is the two of them kiss and I would die to see that happening. However I turn my attention back to Morie as she sips on her drink and I sigh softly.  
“Listen… I can leave if you don’t want me here”, I tell her and our eyes meet again. I see something else in there.  
“I really don’t want you to leave.”  
I don’t really believe her. I can see she’s uncomfortable with me. Maybe I could find someone else to have fun with. That’s why I came anyway. I sigh softly and get up from my seat. That’s when Morie fetches my hand, holds me back.   
“Magee. I mean it. I want you with me.”  
I look at her once more and I see regret in her eyes. Maybe because she was so grumpy with me the whole evening. I grin.  
“How about we go and get some food.”  
“Does McDonalds sound good to you?”  
I grin even wider.  
“Sure.”  
  
 _Asako_

It just happened. It just… clicked. When Saeko got me that drink, I somehow felt so much lighter. All I wanted to do is talk to her. I have to admit, her laugh is incredible. She’s beautiful. I still can’t believe what I missed out. It could be the cocktails, I can’t even remember how many I had until now, but I feel warmth rushing through my veins. I don’t even care anymore for that game the troupe is playing. I enjoy this way too much. We talk about so many things. Things I like, things she likes and I notice that we have quite a lot in common. Maybe we just misunderstood one another when we first met. However I go on talking about Buu-chan after she asked me about him, he is my favorite subject after all, when I notice Saeko somehow staring at me. She has a smile on her lips I never seen before. Dreamy and somewhat pretty. I smile shyly.  
“Are you alright?”, I ask and look at her. She blinks and smiles a bit wider.  
“Sure. I just really would like some fresh air.”  
I noticed Morie with Magee on her hand leaving earlier, so maybe it was mine, or maybe our, turn to get a bit of fresh air. Hiromi was off dancing with Wataru somewhere in the crowd anyway, so they won’t miss us. The two of us stand up, I grab my jacket and Saeko takes hers, throws it over her shoulders while we walk outside. There are only very few actresses outside and I look over to Saeko. As much as I came to like her, I don’t really want anyone to see us. She seems to read my mind, smiles at me and we walk down the street together until we reach a small park. The wind is cold, but I’m still warmed by my thoughts and the alcohol in my veins.  
  
 _Saeko_

I actually enjoy the silence that fell between us when we walked down the street. I actually thought about taking her hand for a split second. The whole surroundings with the moon and the stars, the small park we were in just gave it away. I need to distract my hands somehow, so when we reached a small clearing, I start searching my pockets for the case I keep my cigarettes in. I find it in the inner pocket of my jacket, pull it out and flip it open, take one of it and put it loosely between my lips. Now where did I put that lighter…?  
“You smoke?”  
I look up into Asako’s confused eyes while I put away the case.   
“Occasionally. Is that a problem for you?”  
“No… Not really… I mean…”  
I finally find the lighter in the pocket right beside my case, but instead of lighting the cigarette immediately, I stop and look at the younger woman for a second.  
“What is it?”  
“I don’t like the taste of it.”  
“I don’t force you to take one.”  
“No. But I doubt I still want to kiss you if you taste like this.”  
  
 _Asako_

Whoops. That slipped out. I can tell that I turn purple and turn my back to Saeko. I’m not even sure where that came from.   
“Kiss me?”, Saeko says loudly and I hear her voice clearer than before. She surely put out the stick in her mouth. It is that very second I realize how nice her voice actually is. It would be a shame if she ruined it with smoking. “What do you mean?”  
“I-I… I don’t know okay? That just slipped out.”  
A moment of silence followed. Oh god just don’t let her get the wrong idea. I don’t like her THAT much…. I think.  
“So…” I hear her steps coming closer and the blood rushes through my ears. “If I put it away, you would kiss me?”  
I turn around once again, find her eyes in the dark. She still holds the cigarette in her hand, but still hasn’t light it. I can’t even tell if she still has the lighter in her hand. It looks like she put it away. I can’t think of an answer, just stare at her. This whole alcohol, the whole evening, the game, Saeko herself, all of this drives me nuts. I don’t know what to think anymore. We just happen to get along for a few hours and that’s enough to make me actually think about spending the night with her. Well not the kind of one-night-stand-thing. I’m not into that. I would be fine with a hug, falling asleep in her arms and maybe getting kissed goodnight. That would be enough for me.   
  
_Saeko_

I don’t get an answer. I’m fine with that, I think. I can see in her eyes that she’s struggling with her own mind. I smile softly instead, put out the case once again and put away the cigarette I just took out earlier, put it back inside my jacket. I wonder what she would say if I invited her to dance with me under the shining moon. For the moment, I simply reach out for her hand, take her fingers into mine and hold it softly. Her skin is warm and I feel my legs shivering for a second.   
“I’m sorry”, I say. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”  
“You didn’t.”  
“I don’t only mean the kissing part. I mean everything.”  
Asako looked up into my eyes, smiled sweetly at me. She’s beautiful.  
“Never mind. I guess we just had the wrong impression of one another when we first met.”  
She softly pushes against my hand so that her palm is on mine. Her fingers almost perfectly fit on mine and I feel my heart racing.   
“I guess we did…”  
  
 _Asako_

Oh god. What am I doing? I feel so good, yet this is just a small connection. This should have been just an evening with a friendly chatting, joking and maybe fooling around. I get a little closer to her. No harm done, right? She would push me back if she was uncomfortable. She let her fingers slip between mine and I hold her hand tightly. I can hardly see into her eyes, yet when I lean forward, I can’t help but close them. We just snatch a shy, innocent kiss from one another, yet I when I feel her hand on my side, still holding my hand, I just feel as if time had stopped. It just felt right. She pulls me closer as our lips connect once again, more intense this time. I wrap my arms around her waist, feel her hands on my back. I don’t care who planned this evening out or what was supposed to come around, but this feels just right. I feel a bit like dancing.


	8. I will wait

No matter if it was an invitation or not, she did not want to go there. She preferred to pull her own legs off. But when the day came, she prepared, she put on the dress and drove her car out of the city. The letter ordered her to come to another city and so she did.  
Still struggling, she sat inside her care for hours when she stopped it around the corner of her actual destination. Once more she pulled out the letter. It was informal, handwritten and written on ugly, plain white paper.   
_  
Dear Saeko,_

 _I know that you may have just ripped the letter just when you saw my name on the front. I know that the past years weren’t the best for the two of us. But in chance that you read the letter up to this point, I would like to ask a favor of you._  
I would like you to attend at my wedding.  
Even if you yell at me, I would really like you to have you there. You don’t need to come, you don’t need to call me back for whether you come or not. Just be there. That’s all I ask of you. It means a lot to me.  
I wrote the date and the location on the back of this letter. Please be there.

 _Asako  
  
_ Time and time again she felt her heart break just a little. When Saeko decided to give Elisabeth another chance, join the Gala-Concert they threw just for their sake, she actually thought that her Elisabeth would also be there. It had been a silent promise between them to be joined together as Tod and Elisabeth once more. Yet when she came back, no one was waiting for her. From Haruno she learned that Asako had different plans for the end of the year. Just a few days later, the letter arrived.   
She closed her eyes, let the letter rest in her lap for some more.   
_Please be there._   
She actually heard the plea inside her head. The wedding already had begun some time ago and she was still sitting there, waiting for the nightmare to be over. Only very slowly she closed the letter, put it back and let it slip under her seat before she grabbed the little bag she could simply clip around her wrist, grabbed her keys and got out of the car.   
  
Asako still couldn’t really believe it. She was married. The one thing she never thought would happen, she never wanted to happen, actually happened. Yet she still didn’t feel quite happy. Something in the back of her head still felt that single drop of sadness.   
“Asako!” She turned on her heel, almost fell over her white dress as she did. “Congratulations. How does it feel to be a wife?”  
The bride simply smiled at her best friend. Yuuhi didn’t really change much ever since she graduated from Takarazuka. Sumika was right beside her and they never really left each other’s side. Asako quickly learned to accept and like Yuuhi’s new partner. In the corner of her eye, she noticed Kiriyan still struggling with what to choose from the buffet.   
“Thank you. But not much different from before, I suppose”, she answered and smiled softly. Her husband was still off, talking to his friends on the other side of the room.  
“That will surely come in time.”  
“When will you do the opening dance?”, Sumika asked in her really cute, high voice. She still had her hair cut really short, looked kind of boyish, but still adorable.   
“I don’t know.” Asako looked over to the crowd where her husband was standing and called out for him. Just as she turned back to face Yuuhi, her friend suddenly seemed a little restless. “What’s wrong?”  
“What?” Yuuhi’s attention flew back to her, nervously smiled. “I… nothing. I just need to go to the bathroom really quickly.”

 

Even though she attended only a very small part of the actual wedding, she did decide to come for the celebration afterward. When she saw Asako standing there, all in her beautiful dress, her hair dressed so nicely and smiling so happy, she just couldn’t bear it. Nobody seemed to had noticed her standing in the corner right beside the door in the shadows, watching like she always did and leaving when it was too much for her. That whole scene was oh so familiar and when she was back at the car, she couldn’t help but laugh when she heard the bell ringing.   
Yet when she entered the room, filled with people she didn’t know, her eyes immediately found the bride. Asako was even more beautiful than she remembered her to be. Then again there was this aura around her that told her, that something was off. Once more Saeko stood there, just beside the door, almost hidden behind one of the pillars and watched. No one really noticed her. She gained a few glances, yet they decided to ignore her for the time being. Not even the groom gave her any attention. She couldn’t help but hate him.   
The first person to come over to her however was a really familiar face, just a little sharper yet beautiful. She didn’t even look at her.  
“What are you doing here?”, Yuuhi asked. Saeko was still watching Sumika chatting with the bride.  
“I was invited”, she just gave back, turned her head to look at the former Rudolph-actress. “So there is no reason to look at me like that.”  
“Why should Asako invite you out of all people?”  
Saeko noticed the slightly aggressive attitude Yuuhi gave her, but decided to play cool. In the corner of her eye she noticed the groom walking over to his bride.  
“I was just as surprised as you are. But I am even more surprised that this is actually happening.”  
“What is so wrong about Asako getting married?”  
Saeko turned her eyes back to watch the couple, stayed in silence for a few seconds. The music started and the pair did their wedding dance.   
“It’s funny, isn’t it?” Yuuhi looked confused at her. “The resemblance. Elisabeth is not made for Franz.”  
She just left Yuuhi on her spot, decided to walk into the crowd that formed a circle around the pair, passed Kiriyan with a piece of bread in her mouth and stopped right beside her Lucheni. The younger woman almost choked on her food, just stared at her while Saeko continued watching the pair.  
  
She felt light and happy when she danced with her husband, even though she wasn’t comfortable with the crowd around her watching her as if she was a bird in a golden cage. She just concentrated on the man holding her in his arms until the music faded out and she was held a bit closer. The people, their friends and family around them applauded and she smiled happily at her husband once again when they left the dance floor, watched as the other people decided to finally dance as well.   
“So you did choose another after all”, she suddenly heard from behind. A far too familiar voice. Asako as well as her husband turned around and for a second she stared at the woman just a few steps away from her. She was still beautiful, even more than she remembered her to be. Her hair was longer, pinned up and she wore that beautiful dress she saw only once. Asako felt her heart lighten a little and she smiled, got a little closer.   
“Saeko!”, she happily burst out. “You came! I’m so happy…”  
“I didn’t know you gave out another invitation, Asa-chan”, her husband said while joining her side. Asako noticed the angry glance Saeko threw over to him, yet smiled at her and laid one hand above her heart before she bowed just a little. She knew that move.  
“I could not leave out this… important event of someone who means so much to me.”  
“I’m just happy that you came.”  
“So…”, her husband interrupted once again. “Will you introduce me to her?”  
“Ayaki Nao”, Saeko said before Asako had the chance to say anything. “I was Top Star just before Asako. We know each other well.”  
“Oh? She never mentioned you with one word. But I guess I heard of your name…” He turned to face Asako. “Wasn’t she the one you played Elisabeth with?”  
Asako just nodded. She couldn’t really take her eyes off of the Tod-actress. Maybe inviting her hadn’t been such a good idea after all.  
“I was really sad when I learned that you wouldn’t attend the Gala Show for Elisabeth.”  
“I chose not to go there.”  
  
Silence followed. All Saeko could do was watching her Elisabeth as she slowly seemed to realize the irony that occurred that very moment.   
“Uhm… so… you’re all here by yourself?”, the man interrupted once more and Saeko forced on a smile once again.  
“Yes I am.”  
“I thought you might have come with your husband…”  
Saeko interrupted him.  
“I’m not married.”  
He gave her a very surprised look, blinked and that moment she understood why Asako had chosen him. He was an idiot, easy to control.  
“You’re not? But you’re a very beautiful woman. How come?”  
“I do not intend to get married.”  
“What about your boyfriend?”  
“I am not in a relationship. Not anymore. The person I decided to spend my life with…” She turned her eyes back to Asako. “… decided to take another.”  
“Maybe the two of you would still be together if you decided not to cheat”, Asako growled, suddenly completely ignoring her husband by her side. Saeko raised her eyebrow.  
“Cheat? I don’t know what your pointing at. I waited.”  
“Oh you don’t? Sad. Because you cheated and the whole world was watching it.”  
Once more Saeko blinked, laid her fingertips on the small earring she hand and stroke the black stone softly. In surprised when she remembered the only thing she could think of, she turned back to Asako.  
“Oh you mean that scene in Ache with Wataru?”  
“You just hit the high score. Congratulations.”  
Saeko laughed a bit.  
“You don’t really think that we were a thing back then.”  
“I KNOW you were a thing back then. I saw it in the way you were watching her.”  
The groom tried to interrupt, yet Saeko decided just to talk over him.  
“Then you should maybe check again. I’m a good actress, but not a cheater. I waited. I waited years. But just like Elisabeth, you decide to get married to another just to flee from me.” Asako fell silent, but didn’t flinch back when Saeko stepped closer, laid her hand on the younger woman’s cheek and lean to her ear. “I know you love me, Asako. You always will. And I will wait for you. As soon as he takes another, you will come back to me.”  
“… What makes you so sure about that.”  
“Because the story is about to repeat itself. And the last dance will always be mine. You WILL dance with me.”  
“And if he doesn’t leave me?”  
Saeko pulled back, stared at the other woman for a second. Yet she smiled a little.  
“Then I will wait forever.”


	9. Stuffed and Fluffy

“You can’t do that.”  
“What? Why not?”  
“Because he wouldn’t do that.”  
“Maybe he would.”  
“I tell you he does not.”  
“But…”  
“I played him once. I should know how he would react. He may be the sparkly, good for nothing fiancé, but he would not, never ever, carry THIS around.”  
“But… I like it.”  
Mikkii tilted her head and gave her a look that would most likely destroy her if it could. Shiiran pulled closer the little stuffed dog she brought with her, a present she once received. With a few steps the younger of the two was over by her side, snatched the dog from her and watched it closely. It was a corgi.   
“I have no clue why you like these things so much”, she said and looked up at Shiiran. Same woman only started grinning.  
“The same reason why you love your fat cat.”  
“He’s not fat!”, Mikkii immediately blurred out, stared on the floor shortly after in embarrassment. “He’s just a little chubby.”  
“Chubby… sure.”  
“Only because you guys feed him so many sweets when you come over.”  
Shiiran laughed loudly. Mikkii was just too cute while pouting like that. Earlier this day, the two of them agreed to rehears more of Paris’ scenes since Kurenai Blue, sometimes a bit lazy with her work, didn’t even start to work out her character yet. For some reason however, the two of them were always distracted by everything and nothing. First Shiiran showed of the new CDs she got, presents from Miyacchi, then Mikkii suddenly fell back into playing Mercutio and the two of them were fooling around while Shiiran started imitating Beni’s Tybalt. It more or less ended up with the two of them laughing so hard about Shiiran imitating Beni imitating Kaname being Tybalt and Mikkii found herself on the floor, trying hard to breathe. The younger one surely remembered really well how much she had to pull herself together in order to not start laughing at Kaname while being on stage.   
It was already dark outside when they finally decided to do some serious work. That was until Shiiran pulled out that stuffed toy and seriously wanted to take it with her on stage.  
“Well whatever”, Shiiran sighed and shrugged. “I guess he is fluffy and cuddly.”  
“See! That’s what I said.”  
The older woman smiled softly. Mikkii was most pretty while she was smiling, so naturally they all tried to make her happy. Also no one could stand seeing her cry, which happened a lot. She usually quickly recovered, but when she did, her friends were immediately around her to cheer her up.   
That was until she was part of Kurenai 5. The four of them just loved to make fun of each other but that was how they became such close friends. Since the moment she was introduced to the younger actress through Miyacchi, who seemed to think of Mikkii as some kind of cuddly pet, their friendship steadily improved, even though Shiiran sometimes wondered if it would stay that way. With Miyacchi being in Tsukigumi, she sometimes felt really lonely, so she spent her time rather with Mikkii than Miyacchi. Then there was also Renta. Blue was still unsure about her. Yellow was lovely, charming, happy, short and always around. But to be honest, she was sometimes a little bit jealous. The connection Yellow and Green developed during Kurenai 5 went just as deep as what she and Miyacchi had. Sometimes Mikkii called her off on what Shiiran hoped to be a date to be with Renta instead. Well… it couldn’t be helped. Maybe one day she would try to make a move, but for now she wanted to leave the two of them alone. It was difficult to be somewhere between friendship and love.  
“Well… how about we end it here and we go have dinner. I’m really hungry.”  
“Sure. But under one condition.”  
“What would that be?”  
Mikkii raised up the toy she still had in her hands.  
“I’m allowed to keep that.”  
“Why?”  
Shiiran raised her eyebrows.  
“Because it’s fluffy…” The younger one grinned even wider. “… and it smells like you.”


	10. Now tell me...

Asako sighed softly as she opened her eyes but quickly decided to keep them shut. It was way, way too bright for her taste in the morning. Actually she expected to be hangover. At least some kind of but she only felt tired. What the hell happened last night? She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to remember.  
  
She went to a bar. Together with Masa-chan as far as she could recall. However her close friend didn’t feel really good for the past few days and didn’t want to drink anything. She went home shortly after they arrived, but wanted Asako to stay and have fun. At least she wasn’t the only one there and there were a few people she knew. Mizu came along, together with a few others of her friends. Now that she thought of it, they didn’t even go to their usual bar. There was a club somewhere on the other part of town.   
_“Oh come on, Asa-chan”,_ Mizu had said to her, one of her friends already quite tipsy over her shoulder. _“Have some fun.”_  
 _“And what does your definition of fun look like.”  
“Filling you up with alcohol and a man.”  
_ Asako blushed hardly.  
 _“W-what?? You can’t say that!”  
“Of course I can. Asako you didn’t have a man in ages. You need to loosen up a little. Your life shouldn’t be just working all day long.”  
_ Asako could only roll her eyes on that, but had agreed to come along anyway. It wasn’t the same without Osa around, but had she agreed to a few of the silly games Mizu came up with. Yet her little scheme had seemed to work. Asako wasn’t exactly the person to handle alcohol really well and after just one or two cocktails, they were delicious by the way, she even agreed to another dare. There had been this one, lonely man sitting just across the room and Mizu had picked him out to be her dare. She had to walk over and talk to him for at least 15 minutes and she did. It turned out that he was just her type.  
Asako grinned softly while remembering the tall, handsome and funny young man, even though she quickly found out he was a few years younger than her. Well that didn’t stop her, did it? But still… something felt odd. She tried to remember what happened after that.  
 _“May I join in on this conversation?”  
_ She blinked softly. She remembered another person. That person joined the two of them but it was not like Asako really cared. She liked people, she liked talking, so why not? It was a lady if she remembered correctly, just about her high, with deep, dark eyes.   
_“So… what is a lovely woman like you are doing with a man like this?”  
_ As soon as the man got up to get some more drinks, the woman started changing the tone of her voice. She didn’t really talk to him the whole time.  
 _“He seems like a nice guy. Why shouldn’t I talk to him?”  
“A nice guy?” _ She remembered that sarcastic laughter really clearly. _“Oh please. Spare me. I know him. He always comes here all by himself and picks up the prettiest lady in the club.”  
“So you think I’m pretty?”  
_ Asako grinned. She never flirted with a woman before, but it was quite fun. After all she wasn’t into them. But she still remembered that cocky smile. _  
  
_After that, it became harder and harder for her to remember. She could recall another drink, another flirting with that man until, for some reason she forgot, sat inside a taxi, leaning on a warm body that held her close.  
 _“Don’t fall asleep, sweetheart. The night is not over yet.”  
_ Asako blushed once more for that silent promise. She remembered stumbling into her apartment, almost falling over the carpet and found herself trapped at the wall. Only then she remembered how wet her shirt felt, staining with sweat. Did she dance? She couldn’t remember. The next moment soft fingertips were below her shirt, stroking her belly and teasing her skin.  
 _“You… you shouldn’t…”_ She whispered while the hot breath clashed with her own. _“I-I’m don’t…”  
“Don’t you like it?”  
_ She closed her eyes. Still she felt the hands on her body, her shirt softly pulled up without opening it. The fingers teasing her breasts and the sensitive buttons on her body made her shiver once more. She remembered the kisses on her jawline, slowly tracing down her neckline and over her shoulders through the fabric of her shirt.   
_“You won’t need that anymore.”_  
Her shirt was ripped open and the buttons fell to the floor. Hands were all over her body but without actually giving her what she desired.Once more she was screaming inside her head for more, but no words came out. The hands on her sides, sliding down her hips made her moan.  
“Do you want it?”  
“I want it”, she whispered, felt her head being turned and kissed passionately on the lips while being turned on her back. Asako felt the soft spot on her insides being pushed, teased and rubbed and it made her moan even louder against the others lips. She wasn’t really given the chance to breathe and it made her head spin, her surroundings blurry until her world became white for a split-second where she threw back her head and moaned out loudly.  Still being teased, still softly moaning, she felt Saeko kiss her throat. … Wait… Saeko? Asako blinked and looked up to the other person.  
“Tell me once more you’re not into women”, the other said with that cocky smile.


	11. My long time Lover

She felt soft kisses in her neck, the slim fingers on her sides and on her belly, her hair touched her shoulders as she let out a soft moan. Wataru bit her bottom lip, felt the hair on her neck being pulled aside and opened her eyes softly.  
“Good morning, beautiful.” The other’s breath hit her ear and Wataru shivered softly. “Did you sleep well?”  
Slowly she turned, looked right into the face of her loved one and smiled widely.  
“Good morning to you, too, Sae-chan. And the night was wonderful.”  
She giggled softly, wrapped her arms around her lover’s neck and pulled the older woman into a deep kiss. She still couldn’t believe she was still so helplessly in love with this woman after such a long time. Saeko sighed softly and leaned over her, softly brushed her cheeks before pulling back. It was always strange waking up next to the woman she met so long ago, was her long-time friend and then her lover. It was a perfect love story. They first met in Hoshigumi so long ago, started talking to each other due to a very stupid mistake she made, talked to one another, started going out one day and shared their first kiss in the warm summer rain one night in the park. It felt like a fairytale and they had been together ever since. Even after they got separated, joined again in Senka then torn apart they always found their way out. And now they both reached their ultimate goal: Top Star. Side by side in two different troupes but they still enjoyed it so much. They just loved those moments when they could lay beside each other, kissed, hugged and loved each other the whole night.   
This was one of these rare moments. Wataru opened her eyes and smiled at her lover.  
“So? Excited for the guests you get today?”, she asked and looked at Saeko. The older woman giggled softly. “What? What’s so funny?”  
“Nothing. I simply heard that Osa was furious that they take away her pet.”  
“You get Asako? Why?”  
“I don’t know. I guess they want to try out something new? They put Takeshiro Kei in Tsukigumi as well.”  
“Oh dear. So you get the three idiots on one spot?”  
“Well I know Yuuhi was excited.”  
Wataru laughed and sat up while still holding the older woman, snuggled up closer to her.   
“I suppose you are as well. You never really worked with them after all.”  
“It’s definitely new.” Saeko kissed her again. “But you know what I am even more excited about?”  
Wataru grinned.  
“Tell me.”  
“Our little shopping tour next week.”  
“Me too.” Wataru giggled softly. “I’m already excited about the present you still owe me.”  
  
Wataru still laughed as she walked down the hallway with her cellphone in her hand.  
“What are you whining about? You have a break. Enjoy it and don’t bet mad about it.”  
“But I’m so bored, Wataru. I have literally nothing to do right now.”  
She shook her head. That was so typical for Komu. She entered the elevator and pushed the little button, held her phone between her ear and her shoulder while searching inside her bag.  
“If you’re so bored, why don’t you be a nice girl, make some food and visit me in my break later on? I wouldn’t mind if I get something freshly made for me.”  
Wataru heard Komu move, most likely in her bed, growling silently before she started laughing out loud.  
“Well fine. I see you then.”  
  
“So how is she?”  
“Who?”  
“Sena. Who else?”  
Saeko growled slightly, pushed away some rice with her chopsticks and leaned her head on her hand.  
“I don’t know. She is doing a good job but her attitude is still somewhere in Hanagumi.”  
Wataru tilted her head, ate another piece of meat from her bowl.   
“Is it that bad.”  
“I never said it was bad.”  
“You sounded like it.”  
“Well… let’s say… different. Different from what I’m used to.” Saeko got up from her spot, walked around the table and sat down on her lap, snuggled up close to her. “Wataru? Can’t we do something new?”  
Wataru blinked softly, however she was not really amused that Saeko stopped her from eating the rest of her meal. She was hungry after all, even if Komu developed the habit to bring her some food in her break for the last three days.  
“What do you mean ‘something different’? I thought things are going well as they do.”  
“Sure. But… you know…” The older woman started breathing against her neck. Wataru knew exactly what she wanted when she started like that. “We never do something… exciting.”  
“I told you once, I’m not playing role games with you.”  
Saeko let out a disappointed sigh.  
“Oh come on.”  
Softly Wataru pushed back the other woman, softly stroke the other’s cheek and leaned her forehead against Saeko’s.  
“Sae-chan. We’re having a perfectly working relationship. I don’t think we need to change anything. And by the way…” She pulled closer the other woman, placed a kiss on her lips. “… I rather have you naked on the bed than doing a quick number somewhere in the bathroom. And you know I love you.”  
Saeko sighed, stroke Wataru’s upper arm.  
“I love you, too.”  
  
“Are you okay, Wataru?”  
Wataru looked up, blinked slightly and sighed afterward.  
“Sure. Why shouldn’t I?”  
“You seem a little… off.”  
Komu put aside her Bento and put the chopsticks on top of it before sliding up a little closer to her.  
“It’s nothing.”  
“Don’t lie to me. We know each other long enough.”  
Wataru looked over to her friend, grinded her teeth. Komu knew her just too well. Even though they didn’t really talk to each other after Soragumi a lot, they still somehow remained close.   
“I…” She looked up and leaned down closer to her friend. “It’s Saeko. I’m worried.”  
“Why?”  
“You know… for the last few days she always talked about everything that happened during her rehearsals. How annoyed she was about Kashi’s and Sena’s behavior. How they always distract Yuuhi from her work. But suddenly she stopped talking to me completely. She didn’t come over for almost a week now.”  
“Maybe she’s busy. You know how she can’t think of something else if she’s under stress. Just… don’t think about it.”  
Wataru gulped and looked over to the other actresses.  
“I hope you’re right.”  
  
“Wataru…”  
She pressed the other woman against the wall, continued nibbling and biting her neck while letting her hands wander over the other’s body.  
“Wataru stop it.”  
“Come on. You didn’t let me touch you for so long.”  
“I’m just not in the mood.”  
Wataru lifted her head, blinked and sighed before pulling back.  
“What is wrong with you lately?”  
“I’m just under stress. That’s all.”  
“But you finally let me visit you but then you aren’t hungry, you’re tired all the time and now you’re not in the mood.”  
“You can’t expect me to be in the mood all the time.”  
“To be fair: you usually always are. Especially when you’re under stress.”  
“Wataru…” Saeko sighed and pulled her closer, placed a soft kiss on her lips. “Please don’t be mad. I am really tired right now. And by the way: you still have my keys. You know you can come over even if I’m already asleep or away.”  
  
Alright. She had the present, chocolate… the only thing missing was a bouquet of flowers, but she couldn’t show up with that. Everyone would get suspicious. Enough that she came back to the theatre on her day off. Sighing she went inside, passed through the hallway and made her way over to the elevator. The last days were more stressful than anything she had before and she just felt down. The only thing cheering her up right now was Komu. The other woman basically moved in with her since Saeko didn’t bother to show up after work anymore. She was either too tired or wanted to work some more at home. Saeko said that the new guests were driving her nuts and that they needed a lot more attention that stressed her out. So Wataru decided to do something nice for her. She prepared some food in advance, got some presents for her girlfriend and was about to pick her up so they could spend the evening together.   
Yet just as she pushed the little button to call the elevator, the doors already opened and Wataru almost jumped back in surprise. Inside she found Yuuhi and Kashi, while the Tsukigumi-member leaned against the wall and the Yukigumi-member clinging to her lips with her own. Wataru felt herself blush a little and coughed out loudly. As soon as cameras were involved she had no shame at all, but seeing something like this made her uncomfortable. The two women jumped apart from one another and became deep red.  
“Sorry to interrupt you”, Wataru said and forced on a smile. “But… maybe you want to go back home before you start making out. But while you’re here:  Is Saeko still upstairs?”  
Yuuhi pushed herself away from the wall, stepped inside the door so it wouldn’t close again.  
“Y-yes”, the younger one said. “She’s still rehearsing with Asako.”  
“It should be fine then.” Wataru smiled at the two of them while they looked at each other and exchanged places with her. “Have fun you two.”  
Wataru giggled as she watched the two lovebirds stare on the floor while the door closed. She scratched her cheek. Well that wasn’t something you see every day. She made her way through the hallway over to the hall where Tsukigumi was placed currently. Even before she entered the room or was able to knock, she heard Sena’s voice through the door.  
“I don’t know if I can do that.”  
“Come on. I’ll show you again.”  
“I’m sorry. I always need some extra lessons.”  
Silence, but she heard Saeko’s heels on the floor. Wataru stopped but then shook her head, slowly entered the room. She saw Saeko close behind Sena, making her move in slow movements. They didn’t seem to notice Wataru right away, so she watched for a few seconds. Saeko lay one hand on Sena’s side, one on her wrist while pushing one foot between Sena’s to push her legs apart.  
“You need to move more slowly”, Saeko said, pushed Sena softly into the way she wanted. “So you feel the rhythm. To feel the music and what you want to tell the people with your dance…”  
Wataru laughed slightly and the two women almost jumped away from each other and whirled around to face her.  
“I’m sorry”, Wataru said loudly, walked over to the two of them. “I didn’t want to laugh. That just doesn’t sound like you, Sae-chan.”  
“Can’t you knock before entering?”, Sena growled and crossed her arms. Wataru opened her mouth to respond, but Saeko interfered immediately.  
“I didn’t even know you were coming. What brings you here? I though you wanted to spend your day off with Komu.”  
Wataru smiled and pulled out the small package.  
“Well I thought I’d take you home and feed you this really delicious chocolate. You hardly come over anymore so I thought I kidnap you to make sure you won’t get lost on the way.”  
Saeko looked over to Sena, sighed softly before putting on a smile.  
“I guess we need to rehears another time, Asako. Is that fine for you?”  
Sena exchanged gazes with Saeko, quickly looked over to Wataru before looking back to her Top Star.  
“Sure. But we need to work extra-hard next time, okay? You’re the boss after all.”  
  
“Oh Komu. Come on. I really can’t drink anymore.”  
“And you’re calling me a lightweight?”  
Wataru laughed, softly slapped her friend’s upper arm. She really needed that cheering up. She felt down for some reason for quite some time, her mood was evenly bad. Komu knew just how to do it. It involved a bad movie, a good meal and a bottle of wine. The movie was already halfway over and the two of them sat in the living room on the couch, the empty bowls on the table, the wine almost gone.   
“Don’t be so mean. I don’t need another person to pick on me.”  
Wataru pouted, leaned back and Komu at her side giggled softly, leaned her head against her shoulder and made Wataru put her arm around her.   
“I’m not picking on you. I’m just pointing out the obvious.”  
“Enough that Saeko ‘pointed out’ that I’m getting on her nerves.”  
Komu sighed, raised her head to look at her once more. Wataru knew her smile simply vanished away when she mentioned Saeko. Her long time lover was so distant lately and it pulled her down.  
“Wataru…” Komu lay one hand on her cheek, made her look at her. “I mean… Youko. Come on. Don’t let that make you sad again.”  
“I just don’t get why she is behaving so strange.”  
Komu stayed silent for a second, carefully stroke the contours of her face and examining her surely red face carefully.   
“Maybe… maybe you two don’t belong together again?”  
The Hoshigumi-Star stared at her friend, pushed her back and got up.  
“I’m going to bed”, Wataru said and turned her back to the other woman. “Goodnight.”  
“Youko…”  
“No. Don’t. I don’t want to hear it.” She lowered her gaze. “I… we’ve been through so much worse. I won’t even start thinking that way.”  
  
It didn’t leave her mind. It just didn’t. What if Komu was right? If their paths were destined to change and to part? She couldn’t bear that thought. But during the last few weeks, Komu was more of a girlfriend than Saeko was. Even now she was lying on the other’s couch after Saeko once more didn’t want to see her, turning over and over without getting any sleep. She sighed. She longed for some human warmth. Slowly Wataru got up from her spot, rubbed her eyes and let her hand run through her hair. Maybe Komu was still awake. She got up, made her way through the dark hallway and stopped in front of the opened bedroom. Seemed that Komu was still up at least judging on how she was turning on her spot. Acutally… she was turning a lot. Wataru blinked. She watched as Komu turned more, moaned out louder…  
“Yoh-chan…”  
…and more importantly it was her name. The name she was allowed to use after they became so close. Wataru felt her face getting white. Her hand was shaking as she slowly turned on the light and Komu flinched back, sat up straight and stared over to her. Her breath was racing and she started stuttering something she couldn’t understand. Wataru softly shook her head.  
“Komu… don’t. Please don’t. I value you too much.” She lowered her gaze. “I should leave.”  
  
Wataru continued sitting inside her car, still unsure if she should actually leave it and seek comfort in her girlfriend’s arms. She liked Komu, liked her a lot but that was confusing her. They talked for hours, talked about how to move on even though Komu made it quite clear of how she thought. Wataru had felt the gazes on her, felt how different Komu held her hand and talked to her. And that kiss… it still confused her.   
‘Just this once. Please. I will never ask for anything again.’  
It just felt so different. So different from what she was used to from Saeko. More… soft and not demanding. Wataru squeezed her eyes shut.  
“Stop that”, she growled to herself. “You can’t think about that anymore. You have a working relationship and it was never anything lasting. You just confess it to Saeko and that’s it.”  
She left her car, quickly made her way upstairs and grabbed her keys from her back, yet that proved to be unnecessary. The door was unlocked and opened when she pushed against it. Wataru slipped out of her shoes and silently closed the door behind her.  
“You know it’s complicated.”  
That was… Saeko’s voice? Wasn’t she alone? Silently Wataru made her way through the small hallway and stopped beside the door to the living room.  
“How is that complicated?” Sena? “You just ask her over and tell her the truth.”  
“Asako… We’re a couple since… forever. It’s not that easy.”  
“I broke up with Osa for you. I can expect you do the same for me.”  
  
Wataru pressed her closer against the counter, finally ripped open her shirt and pressed her lips on the other’s once more while she felt a moan against her breath. She felt the slim body under her fingers, felt every inch of it and how hot it was under her touch. Finally she broke away from her lips, bit her neck instead and felt how the soft fingers clawed her shirt. Wataru clawed the now exposed back, pulled her closer before she stopped. The other breathed heavily against her hair, shook in her arms.  
“W-why do you stop?”  
She didn’t answer immediately, leaned back just a bit to watch the other’s deep brown eyes.  
“Wataru?”  
“Why did you cheat on me?”  
Her voice broke just as it did when she came back to Komu’s apartment, broke down crying and stared into the darkness for the rest of the night. Komu held her tight, tried to calm her down and yet she broke away from her friend again. Saeko’s confused eyes stared into hers once again.  
“I…”  
“Don’t even try lying to me. I saw you. I saw you having your hand inside her pants. I heard what you told her.”  
Saeko stared down, gulped heavily and clawed the fabric on her arms harder.  
“I… I planned on talking to you about it…”  
“And still you were willing to sleep with me right about now.”  
Wataru separated from the other woman, felt the pain in her chest she got used to. It all felt so empty.  
“I just…”  
“Don’t even think about making up stories now.”  
“I don’t! I just…” Saeko gulped and pulled her shirt closer. “I just… couldn’t bear the thought of losing you if I tell you.”  
“Don’t fucking lie to me now! You should have told me sooner instead of cheating on me for weeks! Do you really think you would get through with that?”  
“Wataru… Youko…”  
“Don’t dare using that name now!”  
“It’s the only way you listen to me!”  
“Then fucking tell me!”  
“I never planned any of this okay? I really, honestly never did!” Saeko’s eyes filled with tears. “I can’t bear the thought of being without you. Leaving you. I can’t live without you. But what I discovered with Asako is so different from what the two of us ever had and I fell in love with it. With her.”  
“And what the hell do you plan to do now?” Wataru’s voice failed to work properly. “You can’t have both of us. I will not accept her by my side.”  
“You don’t need to.” The older woman stared on the floor. “Because… because I know the only way you can be happy is me letting you go.”  
  
“Can I come in?”  
She didn’t answer. Why should she care anyway? She felt so empty. The other woman came in, sat down beside her in the changing rooms and placed a small bag beside her. For some time they sat there in silence, stared on the floor before Wataru heard the other gulp loudly.  
“Wataru… I… I heard the two of you breaking up.”  
“I’m not sure if you can call it like that.”  
Komu slowly raised her hand and Wataru felt one of the tears on her cheeks being stroke away. All she did for the last few days, or weeks or how long ever it has been, was crying over the loss of her long time lover.   
“You need to let her go.” Komu’s voice was soft, caring, as it was ever since she gotten to know her. “You need to move on. I know it’s hard for you…”  
“You know nothing.”  
Komu sighed, turned her head so Wataru was forced to look at her.  
“I guess you’re right. I don’t. But I know how a broken heart feels. I’m not Saeko, I never will be, but please… let me at least comfort you. I don’t want to watch you lick your wounds and carry on a scar for the rest of your life. You know she loves you. You know she wants you to move on so you can smile again.”  
For a long time, Wataru stared at her friend before resting her head against Komu’s shoulder, closed her eyes. Her heart was still broken, but maybe… just maybe… she could find another lover to make her heart get over the pain and heal. Over time. Over a long time. But the kiss on her head was a very first step.


	12. No matter what

“Why won’t you ever pick up?”  
Slowly she put the phone down, stared at it as she leaned back on her place. Saeko softly sighed and let her fingers run over the hard surface until she finally put it aside on the table right beside her. The evening was like any other, yet so unlike the others. Again it was dark, she sat on her favorite couch in her apartment, the wine on her table, the blanket over her legs, music in the background and the empty bowl was already put aside. She still had that habit of putting two glasses on the table, one filled, the other waiting for its owner. It had been… what? Three years?  
She did this for three years now. It had been three years since her final show. For three years she sat down one or two times a month just with this setup, picked up her phone and called that one specific person, ask her to come over and they would spend the evening together. For the first one or two years, she couldn’t even remember, it all went perfectly fine. But then her partner showed up without the promised bottle of wine, she stopped bringing food or something else. She would fall asleep on the spot and Saeko couldn’t even blame her. Life in the other’s position was hard. She could tell. She had been Top Star before.  
But a few months ago, she stopped picking up the phone when Saeko called her completely. Once in a while she got a message, saying that she couldn’t make it, she was stressed and worn out. Saeko blamed it on Mihoko. Mihoko and Yuuhi. Mihoko left her partner’s side just as Kurara left hers, leaving all burden on the Otokoyaku Top-Star. Then Yuuhi was transferred. With only Kiriyan to really rely on, why wouldn’t she just take her hand and let her comfort her at least once a month? Her partner never really understood that she needed that time off Takarazuka, her Top Star Status and just everything she was. But what else could she do but offering her hand time and time again?  
“I miss you”, Saeko softly whispered and grabbed the blanket harder, pulled it up and over her shoulders before she got up from her spot. They bought this specific blanket together. It still had Blanche’s hair all over it and it still had her beloved’s smell, however it faded more and more away. Even though she pulled it up to her nose, the blanket was still dragging behind her as she made her way through the room and stopped in front of one of her favorite pictures. She valued it so much. Mimi never even asked if she could take this picture, yet one day, her last day, she walked over to Saeko and just shoved the little gift inside her hands. The picture ever since never left her apartment since looking at it always made her smile, no matter what. The way her love’s red skirt flew around her legs, the black sweater that made her seem even more fragile, her hair mostly pinned back and Saeko holding her in a close, loving embrace. Everybody knew back then and the people smiled at them. It was her personal golden time. Even Wataru more or less gave her permission and over time, even her best friend got used to it.  
Saeko looked over to the window. It was pitch black outside, silent and only a few lights gave away the streets. So silent… She missed her laughter. She missed the way they teased one another during the day until they went home and just rolled over the bed all evening. She always loved kissing her. Not just her face, but everything about her, especially that small spot on her back, just right under her neck that made her love shiver in her arms. She remembered burying her nose inside her longer hair…  
The door of a key being turned in the front door made her jump and almost drop the blanket around her shoulders and she threw another view over to the clock. It was already after midnight. It was that hour again. Wataru started the habit of just coming over when the clock passed a certain hour, they would sit by each other’s side, talk, watch a movie and fall asleep on the spot on that special day. She sometimes felt Wataru’s arms around her, holding her close when the other couldn’t fall asleep.  
However when the door closed and Saeko turned to watch the person entering the room, she almost made her blanket drop again, just stared at the tired, slightly sad face that stood inside the doorframe.  
“Asako?”, she softly whispered and turned completely. She honestly didn’t expect her to show up.  
“I’m sorry”, the Tsukigumi-Star murmured, still staring at her feet. She really looked worn out. “I’m so sorry I never called…”  
Saeko walked over to the other woman, steadily, as she continued talking. The more she talked, the more her voice was breaking down.  
“I really wanted to call. I wanted to come over. But… but I wanted to do this alone. I was scared someone would find out. I was scared of society. I was…”  
When Saeko reached her, she raised her hand and put it on the other’s cheek, smiled at her as their eyes met. She was still so beautiful, but she lost so much weight from the last time they had seen each other. She felt Asako trembling under her fingers.  
“It’s okay.”  
“No it’s not! I… I should have…”  
“No. I said it’s okay. I know you didn’t forget. You told Wataru to come over every time, didn’t you?”  
Silence. So this was a yes. Carefully she took the other’s hand, pulled her close and pulled her into a warm embrace, putting the blanket around the two of them. Asako lay her head on her shoulder, held herself on Saeko’s back and the older woman held her close.  
“There’s no need for you to be strong all the time, Asa-chan. I love you. No matter what.”


	13. Stop but Don't

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: More or less explicit Yuri

_Oh god. Why does it have to feel so good? Just stop for a second please. Except… no don’t… Don’t go away.  
_ “Asako? Are you alright?”  
 _What does it look like? I’m just glad I locked that door. Just stop. You’re going to make me whimper. She will find out. It’s already hard enough to stop my voice from trembling. It’s already hard enough to feel your lips on my neck.  
_ “Yes I’m okay.” _Oh god you’re making this so hard for me._ “I’ll be right back.”  
 _Not there. Please not there. You know how sensitive I am behind the ear. I’m going to rip down your shirt at that speed you know. I can’t even bite your shoulder in order to muffle the moan that is just sitting there in my throat.  
_ “You’re gone for quite a while now. Kiriyan and I were worried.”  
 _It’s difficult enough for me to stay in my tiptoed state already! Stop… stop brushing… oh god…  
_ “It’s just… the skirt…” _I feel my legs shaking. I swear if you don’t hold me up…_ “I-I’m not used to it.”  
 _Stop laughing! Both of you! You think this is funny, yes? It’s hard enough to concentrate on the person outside of this cabin and you’re making it even worse by having that devilish grin on your face!  
_ “Well at least Sae was able to show you how to move properly inside it yet. And there I thought you were having more trouble with your new shoes.”  
 _I can’t even remember the point I got tied up, but I regret it so much. I can’t move, I can barely stand and it’s all your fault! I will come back to you for this you know!  
_ “The shoes are fine.”  
 _Just go away. I want this so bad but I can’t with you around. And you! Stop grinning at me like that! You know how much I love moaning in your ear and you wouldn’t let me!  
_ “By the way… have you seen Sae? She suddenly ran off before.”  
 _If you only knew.  
_ “C-Cigarette break… or buying… some water…”  
 _Oh great. There goes my voice. Fuck I can barely think. Just stop for a second… you… I-I…  
_ “You sure?”  
 _Seriously?? Are you actually fucking kidding me?! Just leave me alone! She won’t stop teasing me as long as you’re here! It’s hard enough to have one hand under my freaking skirt and the other all over my body. I can barely think and you demand an excuse?? Go away already!  
_ “Yuuhi I don’t know…”  
 _Just kindly walk the hell off!  
_ “Uhm alright… I better go find her then. We only have five minutes of break left.”  
 _Good! I just need to wait until… oh god… I really can’t hold on any longer… At least I can bite her shoulder now and nothing will stop me from it.  
_ “Ouch… No need to bite me.”  
“Fuck you, Sae.”  
“You like it, Asa-chan.”  
 _Of course I like it!  
_ “… Go on or I’ll leave a biting mark on that pretty neck of yours…”  
 _Go on and never stop. I need this. I need you._

 


	14. Happy Birthday

“Happy birthday!”  
Renta cheerfully clapped as she blew the candles out, took the little cupcake into her hands and took a bite of it. As she suspected, they tasted just delicious. Beni was such a good cook and her cupcakes were the best. Still with her mouth half full she turned to the other woman.  
“I hope you brought more of these. They are so tasty!”, she said loudly and stuffed the rest in. Beni laughed and grinned widely.  
“Don’t stuff your mouth too much, Renren. You’re going to need it later on.”  
Their leader earned a soft clap on the back of her head from Shiiran.  
“Don’t say that.” Blue growled softly. “You’re ruining it.”  
“Ruining what?”, Renta asked and blinked in utter confusion. It was not often that they had secrets in front of one another, at least since they became Kurenai 5. Or Kurenai 4 in that case since Miyacchi couldn’t make it to the party in time, so it was just the four of them. Yellow didn’t mind. After all, the big party was planned mostly for Mikkii’s birthday the weekend after. Mikkii and Renta decided to celebrate their birthdays more or less together, throwing one big party for everyone and just having a small meeting for Renta’s birthday before that. Her birthday actually was just an excuse for something far more important to her. She threw a gaze over to Kurenai Green, who was talking to Shiiran and Beni, laughing and softly slapping Beni’s upper arm. Renta couldn’t help but grin. She remembered that day very clearly.   
Back when Miyacchi was still with them, before they were Kurenai 5 officially, they did go celebrating Renta’s birthday with some other Hoshigumi member by going into a club once, ended up drunk, sweaty because of the dancing and totally out of their mind. They were lucky they didn’t have to show up at rehearsals the day after. She couldn’t quite remember how it happened, but suddenly she had felt so much warmer, a body pressed against her and whispering into her ear. The warmth came and go every once in a while until she had been pulled by her hand out of the club.  
The next thing she remembered was Mikkii sitting next to her, a glass in her hand and Mikkii wishing her happy birthday.  
 _“Would you like a birthday present?”  
_ Her voice still rang in her ears and she remembered stuttering something among the lines _“Surprise me”_ before taking a sip from her drink. Renta still kept that bottle of wine in her cabin. As she pulled it away, the drop that was still on her lips was sucked away and that basically had turned out to be the best night of her life so far.  
“Renren. Hey!” Beni snapped in front of her face and Renta sat up straight. “Stop daydreaming.”  
Yellow looked up and noticed Shiiran already in the entrance area, slipping inside her shoes.   
“Where are you two going?”  
She still held the half eaten cupcake in her hand, looking up to her friends and Beni grinned devilry.   
“We’re going home. I’m tired and Shiiran still has some Miya-chan to take care of.”  
“I heard that”, Shiiran called out and Beni just shrugged. Renta didn’t mind, smiled and said goodbye. However… Mikkii was kind of missing. Wasn’t she around just seconds ago? Renta stuffed the rest of the cupcake into her mouth and attempted to get up.  
“Would you like a birthday present?”  
Renta grinned widely. She didn’t even need to turn around to see that smirk that was on the younger woman’s face.  
“How about you surprising me for once instead of asking me every…” She turned around and her jaw almost dropped. “…year…”  
That was definitely new and Yellow could hardly take her eyes off of it. She looked over the silken bathrobe that defined the other’s body perfectly, was loosely held together by the other’s hands. Mikkii had that cute little ribbon around her neck and smiled softly before walking over to her.  
“I thought you would like something to unwrap this year. After I found out I am no good with cakes last time.”  
Renta got up from her spot just as Mikkii stopped in front of her. She could hardly take her eyes off the other woman, but got closer and laid her forehead against the other’s.  
“You know every present is perfect from you. But I don’t mind the unwrapping.”  
Green giggled slightly as the older woman pushed her hands under the bathrobe, pushing it over her shoulders as her fingers hit the straps of some beautiful fabric of underwear. It was purple. They both loved this color.   
“You’re beautiful”, Renta whispered as she felt the other’s breath against her lips. “I couldn’t wish for a better present.”  
Mikkii was the best present she had for so many years now. She hardly got tired of her.  
“Happy birthday, Sayuri.”


	15. Stop but Don't (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More or less explicit Yuri

_And… there go my pants. Great. Are you going to strip me naked? Not that I mind. I’ve been waiting the whole day for this. Though it IS quite cold in here.  
_ “What are you trying to do?”  
“Trust me, okay? It will be awesome.”  
 _Well… if you say so. I still… Where are you guiding me now? We already had the mirror, dear. And you loved it. I’m just glad she locked the door or this would really be embarrassing. Oh god her kisses feel so nice…  
_ “Sae-chan? Are you still in there?”  
 _Oh great. Why does that sound familiar? Go back to Yuuhi, Kiriyan. I’m busy. Maybe if I don’t say anything, she’ll go away.  
_ “Saeko? I saw you walking in earlier…”  
 _Yes because her but looks just amazing in that skirt. How could I not walk after here after she threw me these gazes? Her hands on my skin just feel amazing._  
“What is it?”  
 _And I really hope for you it’s important or I’ll make you take laps around the theatre until your feet bleed. … Oh god her lips feel so nice.  
_ “Have you seen Asako?” _Uhm… where are you going there?_ “We wanted to rehears together but I can’t find her anywhere.”  
 _Oh no you won’t! Stop grinning! And let go of my hands, would you?  
_ “Sae-chan? What are you doing? Are you alright?”  
 _You little devil! That’s all your fault isn’t it? Don’t… don’t bite my legs. You know I can’t concentrate with your hands and your lips there.  
_ “I’m… fine…”  
 _As fine as I can be. Damn it… Don’t breathe there… I…  
_ “Do you need something to drink?”  
 _I need you to fucking leave. Asako I… leave my panties alone, okay?  
_ “N-No…”  
 _That came out weaker than I intended it to. I’m going to bite through my lip at that state. Curse your tongue, woman!  
_ “Are you sure? Your voice is dying.”  
 _You are so fucking lucky my hands are trembling so much or else I would rip out your hair!  
_ “I told you I…” _That was close._ “I’m okay.”  
 _Stop doing that! You know how much I like that!  
_ “Say… you enjoy dancing with Asako really much, don’t you?”  
“S-sure.”  
 _Fine! I get it! That’s the payback for Yuuhi, isn’t it? Damn! I swear you’re making me come at this rate. I could hardly hold in touching you before and now I’m sitting on that freaking desk with you between my legs and all I can do to stop myself from screaming out loud is biting my hand. As if our little adventures during the breaks weren’t dangerous enough already!  
_ “I’m just saying that you should maybe restrain staring at her butt all day. Or ‘misplacing your hand’.”  
 _As if I wouldn’t do that on purpose. Now go the hell out! I…  
_ “Oh god…”  
 _There! You’re happy now?! Oh god where did the floor go? Stop spinning please. This just feels so great  … Why are you giggling Kiriyan?  
_ “Make sure you two make it quick. Have fun.”  
 _What… where… how…  
_ “Are you fucking serious?”  
 _I wish that would come out more angrily. I’m still shaking.  
_ “Payback for earlier, dear.”  
“… You little devil…”  
“I love you, too, Sae-chan.” _Stop whispering there…_ “We still have time for another round.”  
 _Just don’t stop._

 


	16. You're cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikkii, Tenten, Green -> Tenju Mitsuki  
> Renren, Renta, Sayuri, Yellow -> Kisaragi Ren  
> Shiiran, Azu, Blue -> Ichijou Azusa

Once again she stared into the mirror, rearranging the wig on her head and sighing softly. It was just for this recording, right? Just this once? As if she wasn’t already used to each and everyone stuffing her into female roles and dresses, but this time it was really just for fun. They all were doing this, so it wasn’t just her. Still she felt ridiculous. If it was with anybody else, she surely would have said no to this dress and just about everything that included these recordings.   
“Well at least it’s with Shiiran…”  
Who was she kidding? She hated that dress. She loved being an Otokoyaku way too much than to get stuffed into these dresses. People always talked to her, advising her to become a Musumeyaku, but they couldn’t understand she didn’t want to. Mikkii already worked so hard for her position and she wasn’t stopping now.   
“Are you ready now?”  
Mikkii turned and smiled slightly as Renta entered the room. She didn’t even try to pretend to be comfortable. Her friend would look through it immediately.  
“Kind of I suppose. I just hope Shiiran isn’t too grabby…”  
Renta walked over to her and took a closer look at the younger actress, crossed her arms and knitted her eyebrows.  
“Well… I can’t blame her. And you know she likes you.”  
“That’s what is making me uncomfortable.”  
Renta smiled at her, leaning past her and took the hairband that was still resting in front of the mirror, looked at it for a second before she put it on her head.   
“I’m sorry I can’t be your Otokoyaku”, the blonde whispered slightly. “But we agreed to take turns.”  
Mikkii sighed and tilted her head as she pulled on the wig once more.  
“I know. But at least we’ll see each other tomorrow for recordings, yes?”  
Yellow nodded softly.  
“Sure. I’m curious if we can really stay there for the night.”  
“Well it would be easier for all of us. If we film the whole day I really don’t want to take the train all the way to my apartment.”  
Renta laughed once again and patted her head.   
“You’ll be fine. A cute girl always finds someone to drive her back to her home.”  
Mikkii couldn’t help but blush.

“Alright. That should do it.”  
The director clapped and all of the people beside the car started packing up shortly after. Mikkii sighed softly. She couldn’t wait to get out of this wig and out of this dress. She still felt uncomfortable and her mind was rushing. She was just glad the car didn’t give enough space to film everything that happened. Her face was still tingling and she still felt Shiiran’s breath on her lips. That was awfully close, even for her taste. Usually Green didn’t bother getting way too close to another person in order to stage-kiss, but this…   
“Hey Tenten.” Speak of the devil. “Should I drive you home? It’s late.”  
At first she thought about refusing. The day had been weird enough at it was. First the thing with Renta, then she couldn’t really concentrate all day and then Shiiran. She felt drunk and not really able to do any choices.  
“Uhm… Sure… It would be nice.”  
“Are you alright? You seemed quite off the whole time.”  
“I’m fine.”  
Blue came closer, carefully took the younger woman’s face in her hands and leaned her forehead against Mikkii’s. Overwhelmed with that situation, Mikkii frowned on her spot, stared at the other woman who had her eyes closed until she pulled back and looked worried at her.  
“Maybe you’re getting a fewer”, Shiiran said and looked at her with worried eyes. “I better get you home quickly before you catch a cold.”  
Green simply nodded and laid her hand on her forehead as well. Maybe she was getting a fever or something. After all it was cold outside and she had nothing on except the dress and the light jacket. Not to mention the shoes that made her legs freeze. She let out a surprised sound as Shiiran suddenly grabbed her hand and pulled her with her to the car. There were multiple. The one they came with, the one they used for filming, Shiiran’s personal car and the ones for the directors. Mikkii sat beside Shiiran, leaned back and rubbed the back of her neck. She suddenly felt so tired and still cold.  
“You can take it off if you want to.” Her head snapped up and she looked over to Shiiran who was staring on the street. “I mean the wig. You seem so uncomfortable with it.”  
“Uh…” She blinked and pulled aside one of the hair strains. „I guess you’re right.“  
Carefully she reached under the edge of the wig, pushed it up and off her head before carefully placing it in her lap and ruffling up her pinned down hair. She hated doing that. She felt sweaty and disgusting under wigs, yet she was cold at the same time.   
“By the way: you look very pretty today.”  
Mikkii looked over once more, stayed silent for a few seconds while pulling on her hair in order to somehow make it look better. At any other time she would have taken that compliment with silence, however she promised to come out of her shell. She tried so hard for the last few weeks and she still had to be careful not to fall back into her silent state.  
“So I’m not pretty at any other time?”  
Blue laughed and threw the quickest of glances over to her.  
“Of course you are. Though I would call you handsome then. But with that hair and with that dress, you’re just plain cute.”

Mikkii didn’t know how to answer that question right away, though she did come up with quite a few answers some time later when it was already too late. She hated that. As Otokoyaku, she should be cocky and always have funny answers, but that took her off guard. When they reached Mikkii’s house, the younger one naturally invited her elder in, yet she didn’t get to do much. Shiiran immediately placed her on the couch, made her way into the kitchen and started preparing… well something. She couldn’t really tell. But it smelled nice and a few minutes later, Shiiran brought a tablet with two cups and some tea in.   
“You’re very well organized, Tenten.” Blue sat down beside her. “Unlike someone else I know.”  
“Miyacchi? Is she so messy?”  
“Not messy. Just… she sometimes throws her stuff aside and forgets where she puts it.”  
Mikkii laughed a little and leaned back and let her hand run through her hair.  
“Sounds like someone else I know.” Shiiran gave her a surprised look. “Renta. She always comes over to my place because She can hardly manage to keep her clothes off the couch or the other half of her bed.”  
Shiiran grinned wider.  
“Makes you wonder how the two of them made it through TMS.”  
“Well maybe they looked at Sensei and she thought they were really cute so they get bonus points?”  
“Then I’m not even surprised you were the best in your class if cuteness gets bonus points.”  
Once more, Green blushed and stared on the hands in her lap. Why the hell was she still wearing that dress anyway? She took one of the cups and poured some tea in in order to avoid the compliment she was given, however it stuck to her mind. Why did Shiiran even do this? Mikkii wasn’t good with something like this. Enough that Beni would laugh at her once she would see the finished product of these recordings.  
“I’m sorry…”, Blue suddenly murmured and Mikkii put the cup between her hands while looking at the other woman. “I just… I really enjoyed today you know.”  
“It was fun, yes.”   
Mikkii’s voice was more silent, more shy than before and her fingertips softly stroke the surface of her cup.  
“It made me think.”  
She watched Shiiran in the corner of her eyes while she stared on the surface of her tea. Actually the heat burned her fingertips, but it didn’t bother her.  
“About what?”  
“If you would let me kiss you if I asked you to.”  
Mikkii flushed deep red, needed a few seconds to realize what Shiiran just requested of her. Once more this day her heart started pounding against her chest and she gripped the cup harder.  
“Why the question?”  
“Because I never thought about kissing anybody aside Miyacchi before. Because I’m curious what it feels like and if it’s any close to kissing Miyacchi.”  
“I… I thought you two were…”  
“A common mistake. No we’re not. We tried once but… I suppose we’re just meant to be best friends.”  
Mikkii smiled weakly, leaned back on her spot and finally put aside her cup. She couldn’t say she wasn’t interested but… it had been so long since she had been with anybody. Aside from that, she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to do that or if the fever she was about to get her played a trick on her.   
“I… I…” She got up. “I should go change.”  
Without looking over to Shiiran a second time, she walked into her bedroom, weakly threw the door shut, though it didn’t quite click shut. She didn’t give it any attention. Instead she let the jacket slip over her shoulders and put it over a small chair before letting her hand run through her hair another time. She still felt feverish and trembling. Kissing Shiiran might not be so bad, wouldn’t it? But then again, their friendship might suffer under it.   
Still in her thoughts, she reached back in order to open the dress, yet found that it was way more difficult than putting it on in the first place. Renta helped her in before and Mikkii could swear that the zipper was stuck on her bra.   
“Oh great…”, she sighed and tried going for it another time. That shouldn’t be so hard, should it? She was a dancer, flexible, and yet she couldn’t get that zipper open.   
“Should I help you?”  
Shiiran’s voice made her blush once again and she stopped with her back turned towards the other woman. Since she had a huge mirror in her room it was also no problem looking at Shiiran standing in the door in the mirror.   
“N-No. I’m fine.”  
She tried getting a grip on the zipper again, yet failed. Suddenly Shiiran laughed softly and walked over to her as if the conversation before never had happened.  
“Oh come on. No need to be shy about it. We see each other in the changing room all the time, remember?”  
Without asking a second time, Mikkii felt Shiiran grabbing the zipper, yet stopping for a split second. Green didn’t even dare looking up into the mirror and bit her lip instead when she felt the dress loosen up and the other woman close behind her.   
“I’m sorry…”  
The whisper was so close to her ear that she could feel the other’s breath against her skin and it made her shiver slightly. Next the fingertips brushed the bra-strap on her shoulder, under the dress and slowly pushed it down. The soft touch of Shiiran’s breath hit the sensitive skin just behind her ear and Mikkii moaned softly as she stiffened a bit on her spot.   
“Tell me if I should stop”, was the next thing she heard, yet was too distracted by the hands that ran down her shoulders, brushed her back and caressed her sides. Only slowly she dared open her eyes, felt the lips on her neck and watched Shiiran with slightly clouded vision. That… just felt good. Like really good. The hands wandered over her sides, over her belly, her hip, her arms and suddenly she heard the other softly calling out her name.  
“I want to kiss you so badly…”  
The next she noticed was Shiiran turning her around cupping her face in her hands and pressing the lips on hers. Unsure what to do, Mikkii reached up, found the edge of Shiiran’s shirt and clawed it before returning the movement against her lips. First shy, then more confident after Shiiran didn’t stop which she counted as approval.   
Only when she ran out of breath they broke the kiss and only then she noticed the cold surface on her back and the bra barely hanging from one arm. Her face was deep red and she needed two seconds to notice Shiiran’s body so close to her own. Also Mikkii clawed the other’s shirt so hard that one of the buttons became loose, revealing the binder that was underneath. She shouldn’t do that. She really shouldn’t. But… but it felt so good.  
“Take it off”, Mikkii then demanded, watching Shiiran’s surprised face that faded into a slight smile. The bra fell down as Shiiran let go of her, started undoing the buttons on her shirt. Mikkii felt her breath racing, her heart pounding and the blood rushing through her ears as she watched the other woman carefully. The shirt felt down and Mikkii reached up. Shyly she touched Shiiran’s skin on her belly, let her fingertips trace upward until she hit the edge of the binder. She gulped as she took used the other hand as well in order to open the binder, let it fall down as well and reveal more of Blue’s body. She was really pretty…  
“You’re so cute”, Shiiran whispered and got closer once more. Mikkii felt the skin barely touching hers and it made her twitch even more and the lips against hers just made her face red again.  
“Don’t say that…”  
“It’s true. You know it is…” Shiiran’s hand found her cheek, stroke it softly before tracing down, over her neck and more down. “You have such a pretty face and you’re so slim…” The fingers found the soft flesh of her breast and squeezed it softly, making Mikkii moan once again in the process. “… so tiny… and so beautiful…”  
Mikkii felt herself blushing once again. It was not her first time, but the first time that anybody told her this so directly.  
“D-Don’t... I’m not…” She moaned again as Shiiran pressed her leg between hers.  
“Yes you are. Can’t you see?” Green felt a hand behind her back and she was pulled off the mirror and turned around. Being basically forced to stare at herself in the mirror, the touch on her skin just intensified, trailed down her body and slipped over her panties. The mirror fogged as she moaned out once again. “Just look at how pretty you are, Tenten.” The lips found her neck again and she felt her legs weaken as the only layer of thin fabric she still had on was pushed down. All she could do was supporting herself with the hands on the mirror. Still she couldn’t take her eyes off of herself, off the hands that were all over her body and started to caressing her center, making her shake harder.   
“You’re so cute…”  
Not only could she feel Shiiran slowly pushing in, but see it as well. Her face became bright red as she leaned forward even more, letting the older woman hold her and biting her bottom lip before gasping out to another move. Shiiran quickly found that very sweet spot that made her throw her head back instead, her upper body hitting Blue’s and Mikkii grabbed the other’s arm to get some kind of support.   
“Does this feel good?”   
Mikkii let out a moaned “Yes”, closed her eyes to enjoy the sensation, yet just as she did, Shiiran stopped.  
“D-Don’t…”  
“Open your eyes. You should see how much you enjoy it. Come on.”   
Mikkii forced her eyes open, found her own gaze while she still felt the heat inside, tingling and craving for more. Her mouth was slightly open and she panted with every small move the other made.   
“Just look how much you’re dripping.”  
She couldn’t take her eyes off of Shiiran’s fingers that continued to push inside her, making her legs weak and moaned out louder with each move.   
“So cute…”  
“S-Sayuri… I…”  
Shiiran licked her neck again, stopped in her movement and Mikkii clawed the mirror in frustration with a disapproving moan. She couldn’t even tell what came over her. Suddenly it wasn’t Shiiran behind her, not Blue’s touch on her skin, but Yellow’s.  
“Oh so that’s how you like to play. Fine with me.” The other leaned closer to her ear, her voice only a whisper. “Call me Ren-kun then.”  
Once more the other woman pushed inside of her, making her break down and fall against the mirror as the sudden movement, the immediate touch of that very spot inside of her made her body move on its own, her world blurry with lust.  
“Oh god”, she moaned out, threw her body back and reached behind to grab the other’s hair, claw it as the orgasm took her out for a second. “S-Sayuri…”  
“I want you to do that to Renko as well”, the whisper told her close to her ear. It was as if it was in her mind as well. “Ruri and I will be watching.”


	17. I'm dead

**Name:** Asako  
 **Codename:** Sena Jun  
 **Status:** Killed in action

My name is Asako. Or Sena. Depending on who you ask. Most people call me Scarecrow.   
I’m officially dead.  
I don’t even know how I got that name. At some point, I really enjoyed doing my hair in cornrows when I was really angry, symbolizing people to not mess with me and I am no one to make fun with. I became the scarecrow hunting down unwanted crows and pulled out their wings.   
I was not always like this. Originally, I was born into a very poor family and my mother kicked me out when I was still very young. Or I ran away. I can’t really remember. I lived on the streets of the city, my body slowly decaying due to the drugs I became addicted to in order to make my miserable life more enjoyable.   
Until one day, that man picked me up. He promised me a better life when I made him a favor. I agreed and he took me with her. At first I was nothing more than luggage, ready to be sold, but for some reason he changed his mind when we talked one evening. Instead, he dressed me, cut already short hair down and put me aside. I think he thought of me as a boy back then, at least when I remember the way he called out for me. What followed was the worst time I can remember. I was still addicted, still depended on drugs to make me feel better, yet he denied me everything but food and water. I remember being aggressive, sweating, throwing up and so much more until it became unbearable. I snuck out into his room, ripped down everything and offered my body to him in order to just make all of it go away. He refused.  
I can’t even remember how long this went on. At some point my mind decided that it was enough suffering, enough from everything and I stopped caring. He came back and offered me to be part of his world in order to repay him for his kindness. It was out of question to disagree, so he put me through the basics and I learned. I learned everything from fighting, torturing, seducing women with the mask of a man and I learned that my savior was, in fact, a woman. I remember this night of passion and just the two of us, the moment I said “I love you, Masa-chan” and I meant it. My beloved replaced the head of the family and I became the right hand man. I was feared as Scarecrow and loved as Asako and it could have gone on forever.  
Until he came along. That demon of a man. The one my beloved hated the most out of all people because of his arrogance and his pretty face. I came along with him nicely, or at least I thought so. I ran an errand for him, nothing big, but thinking I would betray him, which I did, he pressed me against the wall and I had his knife at my neck. I came to hate him so much for this, for the passion and the pain he gave me, the way he almost knocked me out. What is still left of this is the scar on my neck. Unfortunately, we were seen and my beloved leader informed. I can still see the tears in those beautiful eyes, the betrayal. Only my pride stopped me from admitting what really happened. Pride is something I have a lot of. I was thrown out. Stripped of my rights, stripped of everything I ever owned, stripped from my beloved. Once more I ended up in the streets.  
Then she came along. The one they call “Lady Ohana”. A very strong woman, a powerful leader and even I came to fear her.   
“Come along”, she said. “I always welcome lost sheep with open arms.”  
I followed her. After all I had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide and it would have surely led me back to the warm embrace of the sidewalk with a needle in my arm. And what a lost sheep I was. I did what she asked me to. I tortured countless victims, some I even knew until I finally sew them shut and killed them. I felt empty.  
One day, that other guy showed up at the Lady’s place. Tall, with a boy at his side and a bodyguard that looked so thin like you could easily snap him in two. After talking to the Lady, I met him on his way out. We talked. We talked a lot. And he mentioned a name that made everything inside me boil up. The demon’s name.   
“I know him”, he said. “Help me and I’ll help you get your love back.”  
I was suspicious at first, but I made up my mind quickly. I needed that man and not the Lady to achieve my goal. I wanted to slay the demon once and for all. I wanted to go back to my home and finally fall asleep in my love’s arms again. However it wasn’t that easy. I ran away from the Lady and suddenly everyone was on my heels. He hid me, but only for so long. I was putting him in danger, too.  
“Then why don’t we kill him?”, the boy at his side said suddenly. “They won’t search for someone who is dead.”

And that’s how I died. I rode my motorcycle when I was chased by the families, down the streets, around different corners. I lost control over my bike, I slipped the ground and I died in the fires.  
At least that’s the official story. Everyone saw me die. No one searches for a dead person. Now I’m a ghost. A ghost of Scarecrow and I still make my way around the city.  
“It worked.” I see the grin on his face. “Now we can go on.”  
I put on my mask again and pull my hat down. There’s no point in showing my face anymore. I will only be able to go back when the ones responsible for this mess are dead.  
“And what’s the next move?”, I ask and look over to him, sitting there inside his chair and leaning his head on his hand.  
“We will lure Zunko in. With him out of the way, there will be no one who will protect the rightful order of this nest of rats anymore.”  
“You really want Hoshigumi, don’t you?” I take off the fireproof jacket and throw it aside. “Why?”  
“To prove a point.”  
“Fine. Do whatever you want, Kozuki. But Zunko won’t be easy to kill.”  
“I know. But he will be if he doesn’t see what’s coming.”  
“And how would you do that?”  
He grins and lets out a small whistle. A few people walk in, all round my size. All with my haircolor. All with an identical mask to mine.  
“We will let him see some ghosts.”

 


	18. Montague's cutest dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate Universe
> 
> Tenju Mitsuki --> Mercutio  
> Kisaragi Ren --> a Montague

Their eyes met from a distance, but they both immediately recognized one another. It was the way he moved, the way he lifted that glass up and the way he flirted with the women that gave him away. That and his bright red hair, the black side and that grin, that women melted away for. Renta raised his glass and slipped behind one of the pillars. As a Montague, he shouldn’t be here. Never, ever. If anyone found out, he would surely be dead.   
In the corner of his eye he noticed another familiar figure: Tybalt. Surely he was searching for Juliette. Again. Pathetic human being. The day he would either get rejected for sure or the day he finally died had to be celebrated. He grinned thinking about that, even though it was not his purpose to kill him, no matter how much he would have liked to.   
“I did not expect you here.”   
The voice was just beside his ear and he grinned even wider.  
“You know I follow you everywhere, Mercutio”, he murmured and the slim figure slipped behind the pillar, just to his side, passed him and stopped in front of him.  
“But here out of all places? In the cave of the catprince and his trash?”  
“Well you’re here as well.”  
He smiled his wicked smile and stepped a little closer.  
“… And just as I thought this party would be a total failure.”  
“You still think it is?”  
“It just got better.”  
The smell of alcohol was around him. This surely wasn’t his first glass of wine. Not that he minded. Mercutio was always a lot more comfortable to have around when he was drunk. He wasn’t as… crazy then. He was insane and he knew it, yet he had so many other sides when alcohol was involved.  
“So? And what will you make of this evening then?”  
“Enjoying myself.” The red haired devil came closer until Ren felt his breath sensually caressing his cheek, the body close to his own. “But I rather want to know what you really came for.”  
He felt his heart pounding against his chest. Time and time again it was always the same. It wasn’t allowed, not for them, not for any other people. It was just the same sin as getting in friendly touch with a Capulet and yet… every time he got close, Ren stopped thinking.  
“You know what I came for, Merc.”  
“When it’s just the two of us…?”  
Ren smiled a little.   
“I came for you, Ten.”   
This name was just for him alone. It was a little thing they came up with, a nickname he gave Merc so that he could talk about who he spent the night with without being laughed at and without his throat being slit open. Just as he thought about it, he felt the other’s lips on his, softly brushing, but still demanding and his mask hit the other’s for a split second. The kiss deepened until Ren couldn’t hold back a moan against Ten’s slim yet soft lips. As they parted he let out a unsatisfied sigh, wanted to steal another kiss but instead was pushed back against the pillar.  
“I’ll meet you upstairs.” The whisper against his ear made him shiver in excitement. “I heard Tybalt’s bed is comfortable. And  bring the wine.”  
Ren grinned wider, watched as Montague’s cutest dog made his way for the stairs.


	19. About Hangovers and Fruit Salads

“But I don’t wanna go to sleep.”  
Oh god she is slurring so much. Why was she always stuck with somehow putting them to sleep like little girls? Mikkii sighed softly, pushed up the other’s body even more and led her through the small hallway. Well at least Shiiran, Miyacchi and Beni were already asleep. Her cheeks were still bright red, flushed by alcohol and it made her afford to walk in a straight line even harder. Somehow she managed to push the door to the bedroom open, threw one more gaze over to the living room. She saw Miyacchi’s leg over the back of the couch, Shiiran beside the couch on the floor and Beni was snoring somewhere on the other side of the couch, most likely beside Miyacchi. Their leader was always cuddly when drunk.   
“You’re drunk. You need to sleep. Enough that I have to deal with your hangover tomorrow.”  
Renta always had hangovers. No matter how little she drank the night before, she would always have hangovers. Small ones, just little headaches, feeling a bit sick, dizzy at most, but she was annoying when she was. Grumpy and in a bad mood as well. Mikkii mumbled a small curse by the mere thought of it. Instead of thinking about it she placed the drunk woman on the edge of her bed, did her best to hold her up and looked closely at her. She only was so wasted because Shiiran came up with that stupid drinking game where you have to blow cards from the top of a bottle and it came out that Renta sucked really hard at it. The longer they went on the worse it got. Mikkii somehow got around it a few times, cheated by holding one card or just putting one back up when no one was looking. Her friends couldn’t handle even small amounts of alcohol, so they quickly lost track of whose turn it was to take a sip from the bottle.   
She looked at her friend’s face, pulled out the blonde hair from her face. Her cheeks were still red, she had trouble focusing and seemed to fall asleep on the spot any second. Sometimes that state made her wonder because Renta was so different then. Most of the time she wasn’t really serious, a happy person, but she became more quiet as soon as they were alone and when there was alcohol included.   
“Come on now”, Mikkii said more softly when Renta didn’t answer her. “Let’s get you out of these clothes. I’ll make you fruit salad tomorrow.”  
It was her usual cure for Renta’s hangovers. Mikkii usually got away with some light headaches, but that was about it. When she made sure her friend was sitting up straight, she got in front of her, sat down on her knees and started opening the buttons on her shirt. She didn’t have any trouble with it. It wasn’t the first time she had to undress her friends and they saw each other backstage all the time. Renta was also a beautiful woman, so why bother?  
“Tenten?”  
The whisper made her stop just as she opened up the last button, pulled down the shirt over one shoulder before she looked up.  
“What is it?”  
Renta didn’t answer immediately. Instead her head fell down a little, but just as she was about to hit Mikkii’s with her own, she stopped and instead laid her forehead softly against the younger one’s.   
“I don’t want fruit salad tomorrow.”  
“W-What…”  
“Can we just stay in bed? I would really much like cuddling…”  
Mikkii gulped a little, but continued to stare into the other’s eyes. As her hands slowly fell down, she pulled the shirt with her which she still held tight. Her face was burning up even more.  
“Renren don’t talk like this. The best way to cure your hangover…”  
“I won’t be hangover.”  
“You always are.”  
“Just because you take care of me then.” Mikkii blinked in confusion, started another sentence but was stopped as soon as Renta took her face between her hands, stroke her overheated cheeks with her thumb and studied her face even more. “Just because… you don’t take care of the others the same way.”  
“D-Don’t say that…”  
“But I want to as long as the alcohol still kicks in.”  
Mikkii gulped, felt everything inside her tighten while she listened to the other woman. She couldn’t quite tell why she said that but it made her scared and excited the same time.  
“I… I…”, Renta started, avoided her gaze by looking at Mikkii’s hands in her lap. “I like it. I like having you beside me when I’m complaining about my headache. I like you petting me and making me fruit salad. I like having you sit beside me for hours in silence and watching you read script and think I’m not watching. I… I just… I like you a lot.”  
Mikkii felt her eyes widen, continued to stare at her friend when the blonde woman found the guts to look into her eyes again, watched her in silence. She felt her heart racing, her mind clouding even more when she tried to understand what she just heard. Then she gulped slightly, raised her hand and buried inside the other’s hair, pulling her a little closer and placing the lightest of kisses on the soft lips. She tasted the cocktail on them she had earlier. The feeling made her smile softly.  
“Tell me once you’re sober. Then we can talk about cuddling.”


	20. Let me kiss it better

I… I don’t even know what I’m doing here, okay? I can’t move, I can’t do anything, I can’t even think straight. Oh god that sounded wrong but it’s actually quite right. I feel everything inside me shake, I feel hot and cold and… and… I… oh dear would she be mad if I tried to kiss her? She looks so confused.  
Well alright. To start things off: I did not, and I repeat not, plan for this. We were just rehearsing and suddenly she slipped and fell into my arms. By the way I held her, I could hold her up and help her over to the bench, but she started limping all of the sudden and so I said I would drive her home. It’s my duty as Top Star after all to look after my people. We were at the end of rehearsals anyway. We talked and laughed on the way home, we even picked up a little something to eat, however when we got out of the car, she started limping again.  
“Should I carry you upstairs?”, I asked. She resisted at first, but then I just picked her up from the ground and carried her upstairs. It’s okay. She’s not heavy. I think she actually carries quite nicely. She had the small bag of food in her hands, took out the keys to her apartment and I entered before I let her down again and helping her over to the couch. I just hoped she wasn’t badly hurt, but she said she was fine.   
We sat together, talked some more about this and that, laughed even more and Asa burst out laughing when Buuh-chan decided that my lap was a really nice place to take a nap on.   
“He usually only does that with Masa-chan”, she said and I grinned at that. I had already taken out my glasses earlier. I don’t like contacts that much, but I needed them sometimes when my vision decides to go all ‘Fuck you’ on me early in the morning. Most of the time it fixes itself with a cup of coffee but today I forgot my contacts and so I stuck with my glasses. Actually she complimented me on them earlier. They suit me in some way, she said.   
Well to get back to the subject, Asako wanted to get up to put away the garbage, but suddenly she whined in pain and fell back on the couch. I got up and walked over to her. Her foot was still hurting, more badly this time it seemed and I decided to take a look. I pulled that cute little sock from her foot and carefully let my finger run over the back of her foot. Her heel was slightly blue, but nothing bad.   
I-I-I swear I was kidding when I said I wanted to kiss it better and I was just wondering out loud about how soft her skin is, even on her foot. In our business, we hardly have the time to wonder about such things. Not that I ever tried. I AM friends with Wataru after all but… but this was so different. I felt her shifting on the couch, but I didn’t expect her face being so close to mine when I looked up in order to ask her for a first aid kid to bandage her foot. I haven’t moved since. Her eyes are… god they are stunning. I never noticed before. I can tell I’m blushing. My face is burning up and I feel as if it burns itself through my entire body.  
Do I even dare lifting my head even more? She’s just so close to me. I’m not used to this, not at all. It’s one thing having this kind of closeness on stage or in rehearsals but… but… however… this just throws me off. I… I… would she be mad?  
Why is she moving now? Oh please don’t push me back now. Her fingers are so soft on my neck. I can’t help but close my eyes. She’s tracing my neck up over the side of my face, under my chin and into my hair. I can feel her leaving soft chills on my skin and everything inside me shivers. One moment we were just sitting beside each other and now this? This is just crazy. I can already hear Wataru laughing at me when she finds out about this. If she ever does.   
“Do you really want to?”, I hear her whisper and my eyes flutter open. I can hardly recognize her. When did she pull off my glasses? I can’t even remember that, but they are clearly lying beside her on the couch.  
“D-Do…” Sae stop stuttering. I cough. “I mean… do what?”  
“Kiss it better?”  
I gulp. She seems so serious and yet so shy about it. Her cheeks are bright red.   
“If you want me to?”   
My voice is such a mess, nothing more than a whisper. I can feel her breathing against my skin.  
“I would like to. It surely would be better then.”  
Can this get any weirder? I can’t even tell if she wants to kiss her or just really give her a kiss on the foot and let it be good then. But can I stay frozen in my place? Most likely not. I just hope she tells me if I do anything stupid. I’m just glad she’s still wearing that skirt from rehearsals. What do I have to lose? Nothing actually, so maybe I should just go for it.  
I push my hand under her leg, lift it up just a bit so I don’t break my back, push up the skirt a little more and lean down, put my lips right on her ankle. Her skin really is soft, it’s almost too good to be true. And the way she smells is… fascinating. I’m almost tempted to do it again. If her skin is that soft everywhere? I carefully push up my hand even more until I find the hollow of her knee and pull the skirt up over it. Letting my lips run over the skin of her shin feels like touching satin and I feel myself shiver even more. I can’t help but place a kiss on her leg. Then another and another a little more up, one more on that small gap just under her kneecap. Am I too greedy maybe? I just can’t stop myself. She twitches a little here and there, but she doesn’t push me back, so it’s okay? I’m just so glad she doesn’t wear tights today or I would nibble on them instead of the rosy skin of her upper leg.  
Wait… did she just…? I blink and try to realize what I just did. Asako’s skirt is almost all the way up, she leaned back and hid behind her hands. I can still see her red face between her fingers, biting her lover lip. Oh god what have I done? I cough slightly, carefully pull on the edge of the skirt in order to pull it down over her knees again.  
“I… I’m sorry, Asako”, I say breathlessly. “This never happened to me before.”  
“Don’t stop.” I blink and look up again. She shyly looks at me through her fingers before putting down her hands. She seems so out of breath. “I… I-I don’t mind…”  
How hard did she bite her lip in the first place? And why? To suppress a sound? I… so… she enjoyed that?  
“Is that really okay?”  
I better ask before I do anything stupid or anything the two of us would regret later. Not that I don’t want this. She feels so incredible and I want to explore more of this, feel more, taste more and inhale more of her smell. My heart feels like jumping out of my chest. I feel so relieved when I see her nod. For a second I was really scared that I crossed a line. But that biting mark on her lip bothers me even more. I reach out for her, put my hand on her cheek and feel the hotness under my fingers as I run my fingertips over the slight mark she left.  
“Can I kiss that better, too?”, I whisper.   
I’m not sure what answer she gave me, but I just pull her down a little more to take a taste of her lips. It will be better, surely, but for now… I have my mind settled elsewhere. I can feel her flinch again as I brush the palm of my hand over her leg once more, push up the skirt and she gasps against my lips.


	21. The Power of Music

The very moment she sat foot on the small stairs, the very soft and calming music hovered just behind the door and for a second she had to stop and listen to it. Every time again she was reminded of why she did this job. Not because of the money, not because it was fun ordering people around or being so close with this person, but the music. The music that calmed her mind, that made her jump and rip down doors, that made her the angel and the demon at the same time depending on how it was played. Actually it was kind of scare how much her mood would swing just because of differently played tunes.   
Asako softly sighed when the music stopped for a second, a break it seemed, and she was finally able to ring the bell. Of course she could just use the keys she got from her protégée so that she could drag her out of bed when it was needed, but she found it rude to do it when she was clearly wide awake and practicing. It hadn’t always been like this. There were times when Asako would show up, the door was opened and a very tired face, unmade hair, pajamas and a grumpy voice welcomed her. It had been the very beginning of their relationship and just thinking about it made Asako grin widely.  
“Good morning, Sae-chan”, she said as the door was opened. Behind it there was the very opposite of what was there all these years ago. “I hope I don’t interrupt?”  
“As if I could stop you from doing so.”  
It was gladly followed by a smile. A smile that could tear down everyone’s inner defenses. Her protégée was just one of the most beautiful women there was and she wasn’t even kidding about it. Short, black hair, a very sharp jawline, that cute nose, her dark, black eyes and slim, kissable lips. Not that they ever kissed or anything. Their relationship was purely work-based, though Asako sometimes found herself flirting and the other woman responding. She was quite unsure what to think of it, but let it off before she got wrong thoughts.   
Saeko was not yet dressed completely. That was the one thing she never managed to change on the other woman no matter how much she was angry about it. Her pajamas. She had that pure, white, silken pajama that hang loosely from the slim body, sleeves rolled up just enough to show off her slim hands and the trousers way too long so she was only able to see her naked toes. She always ran around her house barefoot. The thing that distracted Asako the most about it was the way the top was buttoned up all the way and still hang deep enough that she feared it would reveal more of her cleavage than necessary if she moved wrong and that cursed lucky charm she wore as a necklace, an angelic wing. It was a present from a dear friend many years ago and Saeko simply refused to let go of it. Asako didn’t really mind it but the way it was hanging just deep enough to force her to stare at her cleavage, that just had a hint of her small breasts, sometimes just drove her out of her mind. It was the complete opposite of Asako’s perfect suit, her buttoned up shirt, her tie and her glasses.   
“May I come in then?”, she laughed slightly, put her phone back into her pockets.  
“Sure. I just started practicing thou. So don’t expect something extraordinary. It’s just 10am after all.”  
“Sae… let me tell you everything you do is extraordinary.”  
Saeko chuckled.  
“Are you telling me this as my manager or my friend?”  
“Both?”  
Once she laughed and stepped aside so Asako could come in. She carefully put aside her shoes, lined up Saeko’s while she was at it, and followed the other woman into the living room where she sat down on the deep red couch and looked over to the other woman. She almost immediately picked up the violin, let it hang from her hand as she flipped through her notes.   
“Are you practicing for the concert?”, Asako asked and put aside the two cups of coffee she bought along the way.   
“No. Just warming up. I’m still too tired for the other pieces.”  
Asako laughed slightly.  
“You are always too tired for everything.”  
“Not if you would let me sleep for once.”  
The two women laughed silently. It had always been like this. Asako tried her best to convince Saeko to change up her daily routine, however the older woman stopped her at certain points and that was okay. Saeko was a genius playing the violin, pulling in the audience and even make them cry with her play and Asako knew best how to sell her talents. The talent how she picked up the violin, how she got in position and let the bow run over the strings that let a shiver run over Asako’s back. She watched Saeko going slow at first, a piece she heard so many times and knew by heart until she decided to pick up speed. It was always the same. At some point Asako could only stare. The way she caressed that violin like a lover, held it carefully by its neck and let her fingers fly over the strings as if they would cut her right open, let her blood play the music that was inspired by the heavens. Her eyes ran over Saeko’s hands, up her sleeves and found the necklace again. She could stare at this for hours. Asako found herself so fascinated of how the older woman moved to her own music, how she sometimes stopped breathing for a second and how her shirt moved so it was daring enough to make her move uncomfortable on her seat. At some notes, high pitched and clear enough to break crystals, she even jumped on her spot while holding the sheets of paper, not paying attention to those but to the woman that ripped open her usually so calm facade. It made her usual self black out and what was left was a woman longing to get touched and caressed by the sound, the notes, the music and the hand that were so calmly yet fired up tickle the strings, the body that moved in a slight dance and was lost in her own world.   
She stopped abruptly and Asako felt herself being thrown back into the world when her eyes met Saeko’s. She still had that slightly high look on her face, drunk on the music, breathing heavily. She ripped away her gaze, set the violin aside and gulped.  
“So… what’s up for today?”, the older finally asked and Asako opened her mouth to answer. She couldn’t. Usually when asked, she knew each and every detail about her work, but right then she just had no idea. She blinked and forced on a smile.  
“Sorry. What was the question?”  
Saeko grinned, tilted her head just enough so the hair fell over her cheek.  
“What are we doing today? Aside from the concert this evening. You never come this early when you don’t have anything in mind.”  
Actually she did have something in mind, like always when she was watching the other woman play that instrument. But that was out of question.   
“I… I brought you coffee.”  
“I see that.” Saeko’s grin grew wider and picked up the violin again. “Should I play some more for you? It’s a new piece I practiced.”  
Finally Asako could make herself move when Saeko pulled out a piece of paper from behind all the others. It was still perfectly white and not folded at all like the others Saeko had lined up. She got up from the couch and walked over to take a look at it.  
“Looks complicated.”  
“It’s not. It’s actually quite simple and beautiful.”  
Asako stayed behind the other woman as she picked up the violin and started playing again, yet found herself very quickly distracted by the back of her neck. Even as a musician, her muscles were very well build up and the muscles of her neck twitched with some movements.   
“It’s the musician that makes it beautiful”, Asako said with a plain, silent voice while watching the other woman more intensely. The way her back moved under the fabric, how it tensed and relaxed while she made her moves like a song of its own. Saeko once more let her bow fade out the notes, held her violin by its neck and turned to face the younger of the two. For a second Asako thought that Saeko was just awfully close.  
“It’s not only the musician. It’s the piece of music and the instrument. It’s passion…”  
Asako gulped and hoped that Saeko wouldn’t notice it. She could only stop and stare into her eyes, forcing herself not to look at the wing that had this magic pull to make her look on it and setting the thought in her mind to take a peek under these clothes. She hated days like this. Days where she was unable to control herself, where everything was so perfect that she wanted more. She had a good job, made good money, went along so well with everyone she associated with and yet she felt as if it was not enough.   
“Is… playing the violin the only thing you are passionate about?”  
Asako purposely left open the gap for Saeko to avoid her question. She couldn’t just jump right in, could she? Though the moment was way too perfect to just go for it, however she wouldn’t dare threaten their work-related-relationship for something that slowly burst its way outside.   
“You never asked me that before.”  
“I ask now.”  
A moment of silence, way too long for comfort. Asako opened her mouth to answer before Saeko interrupted her.  
“Find out”, the older one said and had a very small smile on her lips. Her mind broke once more and she stuttered a few sentences. Saeko laughed slightly and put her wonderful finger on her lips while holding bow and violin in the other. “Aren’t you supposed to be good at talking?”  
Asako could only smile once again. Of course she was good at talking, just… not right now. She could have given a cocky answer, that she was much better at other things, that she could whisper something in her ear but instead she took the other’s hand and pulled it away from her face, still held it as she leaned in and placed a soft kiss on the others lips. She still tasted her breakfast, tasted the honey and the tea, but it just made her want for more.   
She broke away just before she felt as if it became too intense to handle for her, shyly opened her eyes and gulped once again. She felt herself shaking and vibrating. Saeko however already set aside her violin on the small chair she had beside her, pushed her fingers under her tie and stopped Asako from pulling away.  
“Sae-chan…”, Asako whispered, however was stopped by another kiss.  
“Let me show you a song”, Saeko murmured against her lips. “I never played it but I heard it’s pretty good.” She leaned down a little, putting her lips just behind her ear and made Asako shiver even more. “Be my instrument.”


	22. The Key of Making Believe

Softly she touched the other woman’s shoulder, making her look at her and get her attention.  
“Can I talk to you for a second?”, the younger one asked and met a troubled look. “It really just takes a second. But… in private?”  
The black haired woman blinked but nodded and followed her without a second thought. Why was she so worried in the first place? She chose the play and it was her decision that had been made and her friend agreed to this. She knew the script and knew what was happening.  
“Yoh-chan? What is it?”  
Wataru turned around and looked at her friend after she closed the door behind them. Inside these rooms she felt more save than out there in the rehearsal rooms. Sure it wasn’t the perfect place to talk about something private, but better than being on display for the choreographer and pretty much everyone else. Wataru inhaled deeply, took a few tries before she found Saeko’s black eyes.  
“Are you really okay with this?”  
“Okay with what?”  
She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head while looking at the older woman’s confused face.   
“You know what I’m talking about, Sae-chan.”  
It took Saeko a few seconds to realize what she was talking about however when she did, a small, thin smile was on her lips.  
“You mean the kissing part?”  
“More like the ‘You playing my lover’-part.”  
“Yoh-chan we kissed before. You touched me before. Don’t play as if it was uncomfortable for you.”  
“That was before you were transferred to Tsukigumi.”  
Wataru felt something inside her was still bitter when she thought about it. Saeko however lowered her gaze and also her voice until it was only a whisper.  
“Are you still angry with me about Asako?”  
Shyly Wataru smiled, stepped closer to the other woman and lifted her chin.  
“Do I look like I still am?” She smiled even more. “You know I can’t be angry with you. I wanted you to be happy after all. Although I don’t really understand why the two of you broke up.”  
Suddenly Saeko’s smile changed, became sad and she took her hand to pull away from her face and looked to her side. Wataru could easily tell that she was still sad about that, still thought about that.  
“She… wasn’t as gay as she thought she was”, was her whispered answer and Wataru held her hand a little tighter. She couldn’t really understand it, couldn’t understand how someone could throw away such a precious and wonderful woman, but she wasn’t in the position to judge about it. Relationships changed and she felt it often enough.  
“I’m sorry”, was all she could say.  
“Don’t be. It was good as long as it lasted. I should be sorry instead.”  
“Why should you be?”  
“Because I threw away a perfectly working, wonderful relationship for a passion driven dead end. And I’m so sorry for that.”  
Wataru gulped. Hearing her saying this and meeting her black eyes once more made her heart beat faster and her palms sweaty. She carefully placed Saeko’s hands on her shoulders, pulled her close to hug her tightly. The older woman’s head fell against her shoulder and for a second it felt like all these years ago.  
“So… to answer your question: no I don’t mind”, Saeko murmured. “I… I look forward to it. That’s why I agreed to do it.”  
“You could have just told me.”  
“I thought you might get angry.”  
“I could never get angry at you.”  
“You were when we broke up.”  
“… Then let me correct that: I can’t be angry at you for long.”  
Saeko pulled back just a little, looked deep into her eyes while Wataru still felt the tip of her nose touching the others. There was another smile creeping on her lips.  
“That’s what I always loved about you. Everyone always thinks you’re so big and bad but you’re not.”  
Wataru couldn’t help but return the smile.  
“Is it only that? That I’m a sheep in a wolf’s disguise?”  
“No. Not only. Everything about you. I should have valued you much more than I have in the past. I would give so much for a second chance.”  
She didn’t even need to think about the next thing she said, even if watching Saeko turning away her head once again somehow amused her. Usually the older woman played a quite dominant part.  
“You know that your character is jealous because of his partner betraying him?”  
“What are you pointing at?”  
“Well… let’s just pretend bits and parts of this play is real. Think as if I was really breaking up with you because I fell in love with another.”  
“…Why?”  
“Because I have the feeling you understand me better then. I think we can build up a much more stable relationship when we can feel what each other felt.”  
Saeko’s eyes widen in surprise, blinked and stayed in silence for a few moments.  
“You… you’re giving me another chance?”  
“When this play is over and I have the feeling you understand what I went through for you. Then yes. I still want to be with you after all.” Wataru smiled softly, cupped Saeko’s face in her hands when she saw the smaller woman’s eyes fill with tears and carefully brushed her cheek with her thumb. “There, there. No need to cry.”   
She leaned her forehead against the other’s.   
“I… I just… I didn’t think…”  
“It would be so easy? Sometimes it is.” Wataru laughed softly. “But you know what? We still need rehearsals for every part of the play.”  
Carefully she pulled the black haired woman closer, put her lips on Saeko’s and sighed softly as she felt the kiss being returned. The key of success for a play was in making the audience believe it was real. However no one needed to know how real everything really was. For this second she simply enjoyed these rehearsals, put all the feelings that were build up over the years into this kiss and deepened it even more when she felt the tip of Saeko’s tongue dipping between her lips, asking and longing for something they put aside for so long.


	23. Drinks and other tasty things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit Yuri  
> Don't like, don't read  
> Reader's Discretion is adviced

“Oh come on. You can’t be serious.”  
Mikkii stared at the bottles, went through them over and over but she couldn’t deny it… the last bottle was gone. She found herself pouting and crossed her arms while grinding her teeth. She sighed. But Renta said they still had some, didn’t she? So she left the theatre for nothing? In her break as well.  
“Are you okay?”  
She looked around and found a familiar face, even though she couldn’t really tell why it was familiar.   
“Uhm…” She stuttered for a second. “Yes. Yes I’m fine. I just… I’m a little upset that I was lied to.”  
Mikkii made a wink over to the bottles and sighed before looking at the other woman once more. She had a small basket in her hand, smiling softly and rearranged her tie as she did so. She looked an awful lot like an Otokoyaku. But one this far away from the theatre? Kind of unusual.   
“Lied to? About what?”  
“A friend told me they had my favorite drink here, however it seems they sold out.”  
She would strangle Renta for leading her all the way out here. The woman simply laughed.  
“I’m sorry about that. I hope you have your car parked around here somewhere or getting back to rehearsals might be difficult. The trains are stuffed around this hour.” Mikkii blinked in surprise, started stuttering again but the woman laughed once more. “I’m sorry. Your hair. Hoshigumi, right? It’s hard to overlook that. You’re playing Romeo and Juliette next.”  
That moment her eyes felt like falling out as it struck her. Romeo and Juliette… how could she forget about that?  
“Ah! Asumi Rio, right?” Mikkii bowed down. “I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you!”  
That moment the other laughed out so loudly she had to hold her hand in front of her face to somehow dim it down.  
“Oh dear. No need to be so formal. I don’t mind. Just call me Mirio, okay? You’re Mitsuki, right? Miyacchi talked a lot about you.”  
Mikkii felt herself blush and scratched her cheek. This was all so embarrassing. She couldn’t tell how she managed to put on a smile, but Mirio was so nice that she felt even more stupid than before.  
“Tenju Mitsuki. Nice to meet you. Please call me Mikkii. Everyone else does.”  
“Well now that we have that over with, do you want to join me on my way out? If you don’t have to look for anything else, that is.”  
“I would love to. I really only came over for the drink.” She walked up beside the other woman and smiled shyly. “I have to give Renta the talk once I’m back.”  
“While we’re talking about it: what kind of drink is it?”  
“It’s tea with peach flavor. But it’s a special kind, so you don’t get it everywhere, which is a shame because I love it very much.”  
“I know I’m taking my chances here, but is it this one?”  
Mirio reached for something in the basked, pulled out a small, beige bottle and Mikkii felt herself sulking even more.  
“Oh you got the last one? I’m so sad.”  
“Actually I got the last two. I like them really much myself.” Mirio smiled even more, handed it over into Mikkii’s direction. “Here. I’ll give you one.”  
  
For some reason, Mirio seemed to be really nice after all. However Mikkii noticed while leaving the shop that the streets were, indeed, stuffed. Luckily, the Hanagumi-actress agreed to give her a ride since she was on her way back to the theatre anyway.  
“So?”, the older one said while they waited at one of the traffic lights. “Why red?”  
Mikkii looked over to her, blinked in confusion.  
“Why red what?”  
“Red hair? That’s Capulet’s color. So why would a Montague wear it, Mercutio?”  
Mikkii raised her eyebrow a little at how Mirio’s voice had dropped for a second. She had heard it before and it made her grin. Shiiran had told her about that before, about that little game that their class sometimes played in which they carried their role over into their everyday life in order to get used to it. Sometimes she did that to Mikkii, too, however they hardly ever interacted with one another during the play. Mirio had dropped into Tybalt there.  
“Jealous?”, Mikkii asked in her cocky voice. “I think it fits me way better than you.”  
She had no clue why they decided to start playing like this, they didn’t know each other after all, but it seemed fun and Mirio seemed like a nice person to have fun with. Mirio parked her car and got out, came closer to her as they headed for the entrance.  
“You look dumb doing so. As if you can’t make your mind up for a side.”  
“Do I need to remind you I’m not a pure Montague?”  
“That’s not the point, is it? You call Romeo your friend. That makes you Montague, even if not by blood.”  
“And what does this have to do with my haircolor? I don’t need the catprince to give me fashion tips or any from the likes of you.”  
Luckily, the empty hallway protected them against any further talk that might have followed. Mirio was quicker than she could react, grabbed her shoulder and pushed her right against the wall. Instead of reacting quickly, she felt the other’s breath against her ear and her cheeks getting red. She usually avoided direct contact with people she didn’t know well enough.  
“Be careful that the cat doesn’t slap the puppy’s face…”   
When she pulled back just a little, she stared right into deep brown eyes, forgetting who she had in front of her for a second and holding her breath. Her heart pounded hard against her chest and painted her face even more red than it was before. Mirio however blinked slightly before jumping back a little.  
“Oh god I’m so sorry!”, she apologized and bowed deeply. “I… sometimes I’m forgetting… I didn’t mean it…”  
Mikkii laughed slightly.  
“I-It’s okay. I don’t mind it. I heard about that before. I didn’t really think I would actually see it.”  
“See what?”  
“Your Tybalt. Up this close I mean. Miyacchi was right: he is pretty scary.”  
Mikkii smiled shyly and even Mirio got on a small smile, though she was most likely embarrassed to hear something like this. For such a charming person, Mirio sure was scary when given the right role. The Hanagumi-actress giggled slightly.  
“If you say so. But if it makes you feel better: I really like your hair. It looks really good on you.” She stepped a little closer and lifted her hand. “May I?”  
Mikkii nodded, watched as Mirio lifted the little hair that was left over her sidecut, felt her running her fingers over it and blinked. Actually it felt weird. She was used certain people ruffle her hair occasionally, mostly Shiiran or Renta because they had a weird obsession with ruffling, but this felt different. More curious and soft.   
“I heard that you can cut patterns into something like this. How about…” She traced her fingers in a straight line. “Like this? Two or three. Not a lot. But it would certainly look amazing.” She grinned right into Mikkii’s face. “And I bet Shiiran would get so jealous if you turn up looking hotter than her.”  
Mikkii felt herself shiver as if Mirio somehow hit a really sensitive spot there. She stared at the other woman without answering, gulped while she felt Mirio still having her hand inside her hair, pulling a few strands aside, looking intensely at her. Suddenly, she gripped it a little harder, not so much as to hurt her, but to make her stay in her place while she bit her bottom lip, staying close to her. Mikkii could see that she was halfway slipping into something else, let her fingers run up the black shirt she was wearing until she found the collar. Instead of pushing her away like she was most likely supposed to do, she pulled her in even more, felt lips pressed against her own and found herself quickly entangled in a passionate game of dominance, purely made up by the connection of their lips. It wasn’t something emotional, just raw, physical attraction that took over the moment Mirio had touched her. Mikkii put her arms around the older woman’s neck, pulled her in even closer and her body was pressed between the colder wall in her back and Mirio’s. She didn’t even care for Mirio’s bag that fell down that moment, moaned softly when she felt her breath being taken away.   
Just as she felt like fainting, Mirio pulled away a few inches, yet stayed close to her before risking a small glimpse up and down the corridor. Without saying a word she pulled away even more, grabbed her arm.  
“Come on”, she ordered silently, headed for the door at the end of the hallway. When they entered, it was empty. A small room for conferences it seemed judging by the tables and the chairs all around the small room. The light was dimmed due to the halfway closed shutters but it was not like that was important. The door flew shut and Mirio’s bag stayed right beside the door while Mikkii more or less aggressively pulled the older woman closer and almost ripping open one of her buttons, but only opening the shirt halfway until she fell backwards into one of the chairs, pulling the other woman with her so that Mirio kneeled over her and Mikkii was free to nibble on the exposed neck and tickle a gasp out of her. Mikkii’s hands quickly found the tight belt, ripped it open and slipped her hands on the perfectly well shaped butt she felt under the panties. It really wasn’t her style doing something like this and she knew she couldn’t tell anybody, but she wanted it so terribly bad that she didn’t even think about holding back. Mirio seemed to think alike, at least by the way she was pulling her even closer, gripped her short hair and clawed her bright blue shirt.  
Mikkii placed some more kisses, sucked softly on the exposed neck while she clawed the soft skin every once in a while. It felt heavenly hearing the other react to her touch even if every sound was so deviant to her, feeling her under her fingers felt like touching a stranger. She never had sex with anybody she didn’t know for at least a year and still she wanted even more from this person she only knew by name.   
Mikkii didn’t bother with opening the zipper properly after she somehow managed to open the button with one hand while her other was busy slipping under Mirio’s shirt, holding her by her back so she didn’t fall down and ripping down the jeans as much as possible. Her fingers skillfully slipped under the already wet panties, felt the heat and the softness that she easily slipped into. The Hanagumi-actress threw her head back and moaned in excitement.   
“Oh fuck”, she moaned and the Hoshigumi-actress pulled her closer.  
“Stay quiet”, she hissed. “Someone will hear you.”  
She had a hard time holding the older one on her place while she slowly pulled out her fingers before pushing them in again in a slow, steady rhythm. Mirio quickly rocked against her, clawed the back of her head and the chair behind her. It made Mikkii build up speed once she was sure not to hurt the other woman, however by the way her fingers were dripping shortly after, it was not necessary. She made the woman on her lap shift a little just so she could still hold her, but also could pull down her panties down enough to place her thumb on her clit, rub it slightly and Mirio twitched even more, couldn’t hold back a second, louder moan when Mikkii almost simultaneously found the slightly thick point inside her, pushed her index finger against it and got the desired reaction.  
“Don’t stop.” Mirio’s voice was almost dying under her gasps and moans. “J-Just… don’t…”  
The rest of the sentence was muffled under another moan, this time against Mikkii’s shoulder. The older woman shook and clawed the chair harder, tensed until she broke down and almost hurt Mikkii’s wrist while doing so. Luckily she was able to rearrange herself so that she could drag on the other’s orgasm just long enough to not make her fall down the chair and pulled away her hand from between her legs. She put both hands on Mirio’s back to hold her up as she fell back a little, returned the kiss she was given. She didn’t even dare saying anything that moment, yet felt the impatient biting on her bottom lip.  
“You’re loud”, Mikkii murmured, grinning widely against the other woman’s lips.  
“Oh and you’re the quiet kind?”  
“Find out.”  
She felt the grin against her cheek, only guessed that the other pulled up her pants just enough to be able to move, however she didn’t expect the other to actually climb down from her. She watched as Mirio kneeled in front of her, began to unbutton her shirt and pressing some kisses on her belly, biting the skin on her hipbones after she opened the trousers.  
“What are you doing?” Mikkii shifted a little to see what was going on.  
“Do I really need to spell it out? Help me get you out of these.”  
She lifted her lower body as much as possible, felt needy hands pulling on her trousers and shorts and looked right into Mirio’s grinning face as she threw them aside.  
“Boxershorts?”  
“I like them.”  
“Isn’t that a little over the top?” Mirio pushed her arms under Mikkii’s legs, pulling her closer.  
“Says the person with pink panties.”  
The Hanagumi-actress seemed like she talked enough, buried her head between her legs and the tongue hitting her wet entrance made her hip jerk up, however was held down by the other woman. Mikkii cursed under her breath, holding back sounds as she felt how carefully the other traced the most sensitive spots and nerves, sucked on her and made her throw her head back and tangle her fingers in this soft hair. The other’s tongue forcing it’s way inside her made her arch her back, and even if it was soon replaced by slim fingers, she felt the heat inside her rising.  
“T-There”, she panted when Mirio hit a very sensitive spot, her voice getting high pitched as she was sucked once more. She even bit the side of her hand trying to suppress the moans coming out of her. She never liked being silent, especially after being abstinent for so long, but the whole situation made her mind being torn between screaming her lust out and staying silent for the sake of her job. After all she was fucked into a chair by a woman she barely knew and the two of them were well known in the company, Mirio even more than her.   
However soon the point was reached where she just couldn’t hold back any longer and her body jerked up, tensed and Mikkii bit her lip even harder while whimpering. Mirio held her on her place, sucking harder on her while the orgasm rushed through her body. It took endless seconds until she was finally able to shakily exhale.   
When she finally broke down into the chair and felt Mirio pull back, her leg still over the other’s shoulder, she couldn’t help but laugh silently. Mirio joined in when she was licking her lips and their eyes met.  
“Oh shit”, Mikkii said, sitting up a little more and whipping the sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand.   
“I take that as compliment.” Mirio handed her her trousers when Mikkii sat up straight.  
“I’ll give you that: you’re not half bad.”  
“I give that cookie back to you. And you’re tasty, so that’s a bonus point. And it makes up for the drink I gave to you.”  
Once more Mikkii giggled softly, pulled her pants up while still sitting more or less in her chair. Her legs were still numb and she didn’t feel like moving. The rush was still in her veins and she felt amazing. However when she looked up, watched as the Hanagumi-actress rearranged her belt, she froze on her spot, became deep red and hid behind one of her hands.  
“You… maybe want to take off the shirt.”  
“Why?”  
“… Your shoulder…”  
Right there, in a perfect angel, was the very explicit print of her hand, slowly drying and turning white. Quickly Mirio got out of the shirt, turned it in her hands to get a better look at it.  
“Damn it”, she cursed. “That already is my sparing shirt…”  
While Mirio bit her teeth, the younger got up from her chair, slipped out of her own shirt and handing it over to the other woman. Luckily she still had her T-Shirt and her binder under it.  
“Here.” She basically forced it into the Hanagumi-Lady’s hands. “Take it. I still have a sparing one with me. No one will wonder if I come back to rehearsals just in T-Shirt. I just put on my second one when I’m back.”  
“… Are you sure?”  
“We should have the same size so I think it’s fine.” Mikkii couldn’t hold back a grin. “Just… give it back to me one day, okay? Just make sure to give me a call and then you can just come over.”


	24. Being Stuck at the Right Time

Wataru rolled her eyes and moaned in annoyance.   
“Would you stop that already? I told you it was nothing.”  
She continued walking down the hallway. At least no one was around to hear them or they surely would have been in trouble. She heard Saeko’s silent footsteps running alongside her, but having the shorter legs made it hard for her to keep up without obviously running.   
“Nothing? Nothing you call that?” Saeko growled louder at her. “I saw you watching her and I saw how intense she was staring at you! Don’t tell me it’s nothing!”  
“You’re just jealous. You’re seeing things. I was just checking if she could teach one thing or another to me. You know she’s the better dancer.”  
“Is that your excuse for everything now?”  
“What is that supposed to mean?”  
“’I was just watching her to get more into my role’. ‘I was just dazing off and happened to stare at her butt’. ‘I was just into dancing so my hand slipped between her legs’. You’re making up things, Youko! Don’t even dare start that way! Of course Komu is the better dancer but that doesn’t excuse you to undress her with your eyes!”  
Wataru sighed once more and looked over at the other woman. Being calm became harder and harder by the second.   
“I’m not making up stuff. Stop sounding like I would grope everyone who happens to be in front of my nose just to annoy you.”  
“For some reason I believe that’s what you’re trying to do.”  
“I’m not…” Wataru groaned again and stopped in front of the elevator, aggressively pushing the button. “Why do you have to annoy me all the time about that? I’m not trying to make you angry or anything and most of all there is NOTHING happening between me and Komu.”  
“Oh. Oh are we starting this again? Remember last time ‘nothing’ happened between the two of you?”  
“Saeko that was ten years ago.”  
“That’s not the point.”  
“We were both lonely and drunk.”  
“And again: you’re avoiding the point here!”  
“Could we stop arguing?”  
“No we can’t.”  
Wataru entered the elevator, closely being followed by Saeko once more. That woman stuck to her heels. If it just wasn’t for her being so loud when she was angry.  
“Why are you so eager that there is supposed to be something between the two of us? Can’t you just believe me that there is nothing?”  
“If there’s nothing then why can’t you say no to her and call off the date you two have?”  
“It’s not a date.”  
“You want to go to a movie and some fancy restaurant. Of course that’s a date.”  
“We’re just meeting as friends.”  
“Then take someone else with you!”  
“I already told you that Yuri can’t make it, Touko is busy with rehearsals and Osa has some date going on with her husband.”  
“Oh yes you have just these few friends.”  
“You don’t want to go with us either.”  
“Because I can’t stand you flirting all the time!”  
“Then stop arguing about it! I’m not…”  
The elevator stopped abruptly somewhere between two floors and the two women slipped before finding themselves on the floor in complete darkness. Wataru looked around, yet it was way too dark to see anything.  
“Damn it”, the younger of the two cursed, stayed on the floor but tried to search for Saeko in the darkness. The anger was suddenly washed away. “Are you hurt?” No answer and Wataru felt her heart pounding. She waited a few short moments before asking again. “Sae-chan? Are you hurt?”  
“No”, Saeko finally answered silently. Wataru could vaguely tell what Saeko’s problem was with the whole situation: Saeko and darkness, more in particular tight spaces, didn’t really mix well. Wataru reached out for the other woman, happened to touch what was the other woman’s hand and felt her shaking. Just as she did she heard Saeko sob in the pitch black darkness.  
“Sae-chan?”, she said more softly. “Come on. It’s not that bad. I’m sure it will be fine in a few moments again.”  
“Just shut up, okay?” The older woman sobbed once more and Wataru came a little closer after Saeko withdrew her hand. Her eyes slowly got used to the darkness and Saeko’s silhouette slowly became more clear. “You don’t understand anything.”  
Wataru was about to say something else, to start arguing again. She couldn’t understand why Saeko was so thick headed all the time when it came to her and other women. They knew each other for over 20 years and still she behaved like this every once in a while. Carefully she reached out for the other woman again and pulled her closer. Saeko was shaking violently against her body.  
“Then tell me what’s wrong.”  
Once again, Saeko didn’t respond immediately. Instead she wrapped her arms around Wataru’s upper body, holding herself and burry her face against the taller one’s shoulder. She always did that when she was scared. Wataru felt the fabric getting wet but she didn’t really care for that.  
“I… I don’t want to lose you again”, Saeko finally whispered. “I couldn’t… I just…”  
Wataru smiled softly.  
“So you are jealous.” Before Saeko got the chance to respond, she continued talking. “But Sae-chan… don’t be ridiculous. We’ve been together ever since Hoshigumi. I’m even counting the few years of our breakup. Do you really, honestly think I would leave you for someone like Komu when I have the most perfect girlfriend I could ever hope for?”  
Saeko didn’t answer. Instead she got closer and hugged Wataru more tightly and she held her close, leaning her head against the older one’s, petting the short hair softly. It was still dark, but somehow the darkness wasn’t as bad as before. Wataru’s fingers slipped under Saeko’s chin, carefully lifting it up and placing a kiss on her lover’s lips. She knew that woman so well that it didn’t take her ability to see her in order to know her perfectly well, to know what expression she had on when she placed a second kiss on those soft lips and holding it up for a few seconds just as they did the very first time they kissed. Wataru loved to relive those memories and it never failed her when Saeko allowed her to be intimate with her.   
When they parted, she knew Saeko had her eyes still closed when she put her head back against Wataru’s shoulder.  
“I’m sorry for being jealous”, she whispered softly and Wataru smiled.  
“I’m sorry for making you jealous. But even with all the flirting, you’re the only person I mean it.”  
“You never flirt with me the way you do with others.”  
“I suppose that’s the point.” Wataru buried her nose inside her lover’s hair. “I love you.”


	25. Kuzariana no tsubasa - Spreading a Swan's Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on a scene from "Kuzariana no Tsubasa"  
> Wataru had a double role as "Gusu" (a girl from the lower class) and "Suwan" (the admiral of the empire)

“But Nii-san!”  
“You’ll be alright, Gusu! I believe in you.” When her brother smiled at her, she somehow believed him. “I need to leave.”  
With a heavy heart she watched him and her friends leave, leaving her all lost with that hat and the red cape. She never had been on her own before, not as long as she remembered. There had always been her brother to keep her company, to protect her and now… now she was all on her own. Sometimes her friends made fun of her being a lost little baby-goose and that very moment she felt like one. She slowly turned, her eyes hitting the red curtain. Behind, there was still that… man. Pulling the cape closer around her shaking body, she made her way over, pulled aside the curtain and kneeled down next to him. His black eyes were still open, staring into nothingness. How knew what killed him before? When she touched him, softly pulled aside his hair from his cheek, the skin was still warm. He seemed merely paralyzed in time.   
“Why do you look like me?”, she whispered softly. “Or… why do I look like you? I don’t understand.”  
Gusu felt tears coming up her eyes and she clawed the cape over her upper arms, pulled down the hat and placed it on her lap.  
“I can’t do this. Why do I have to do this?”  
She knew they needed time. Without this man, they would kill her friends and family immediately. The only way to stop them, to buy time for preparation, was for her to distract everyone, make them look at her and lead them into the wrong direction. Her eyes fell upon the man once more.   
“Do you have family?”, she asked silently. “Do you have someone who will cry for you?”  
Carefully she put aside the hat, readjusted herself and lifted his head so she could put it in her lap, closed his eyes. With that, he seemed to be merely sleeping while she stroke his cheek.   
“They always listen to you, don’t they?”  
She had no idea where that thought came from. Still she remembered the first time she set eyes upon him, back when her brother was wondering so badly why they resembled so much. He had been a strong man, a strong leader, a strong general. People looked up to him and listened to his every word. Sighing, Gusu started playing with one of her pigtails over her shoulder. Could she ever be that strong? That strict? Or will they notice?   
“I’m so scared.” She sobbed and shook harder. “I really am just a baby-goose, right? Unlike you.”  
She looked up and over through the thin curtain where she saw a small writing desk. Carefully she sat down the body, got up and walked over. Letters everywhere and all sealed with the same symbol: a swan spreading its wings.  
“It’s so pretty.”   
For the first time in a while, she smiled. It represented him so perfectly. A swan, pride and beautiful, feared when its wings are spread and were able to carry him into the sky. With the back of her hand, she whipped away her tears and threw a gaze over her shoulder. Maybe… she had to be more like a swan herself to become Suwan, not just a goose? Gusu gulped, pulled forward her pigtails and opened up the ribbons that held them together. Her brother always told her that she looked cute with them and maybe those were the only things holding her down? Her high, her face, all of it weren’t really ladylike and maybe now she had the opportunity to put it to good use. She could be somebody instead of being a nobody inside her brother’s shadow.   
She opened the drawer, found a pair of scissors. It would do, wouldn’t it? Carefully she took it out, found a mirror in the corner, just beside a cupboard and left the neatly tidied up desk behind her and looked inside the mirror for a bit. Suwan’s presence was still inside the room and her brother’s words rang inside her head.  
“ _Take over his place.”_  
She would.  
Slowly she raised her hands, first cut off one piece of hair, then another and another until all was down on the floor. The tears ran over her face, made it hard to see, yet she kept going. She didn’t want to be a goose anymore, no nobody, but somebody, just like her and Nii-chan always dreamed about, living a better life. The scissors merely fell down on the floor and she opened the cupboard, took out one of the spare uniforms. She didn’t expect them to fit, yet they did. They fit perfectly, as if made for her. When she looked into the mirror, she couldn’t help but be scared. The illusion was almost perfect. Just one piece was missing.  
Her feet were leading her over to where she was before, the dead body sleeping on the floor. He surely was cold by now. She picked up the hat beside him, put it on her head. Strangely she knew perfectly well how it had to fit, how she had to wear it. Once more she leaned down.  
“I make sure no one needs to cry for you yet. Just… show me how to be a swan, okay? I don’t want to be a goose anymore. I no longer want to be Gusu, but Suwan. Please?”  
He didn’t react. Just the soft clicking in the back of her head told her he was there, with her, moving her every bit. She would make her brother proud. He had to be if she was behaving just like Suwan would, if she would be perfect.   
Her heels echoed when she made her way down the dark corridor. She felt her back straighten, held her head higher as if the pure power, the control ran slowly through her veins. She had no idea where she was heading, opened one of the larger doors and stepped in. The men inside immediately jumped up from their chairs which surrounded a desk with a large map in the middle and saluted.  
“Admiral!”, they said in unison. She took her time getting closer, fixed one of them.  
“Get the troops”, she ordered. “We have a rebellion coming up.”  
“Yes, sir!”  
They all ran past her. When the door fell shut, a smile crept on her lips as she felt like spreading her wings that were bound for so long.

 


	26. Kuzariana no tsubasa - Spreading a Swan's Wings (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Settled after the End of the actual play.

The pain was unbearable. She was shaking violently, tried to roll on her side, yet the pain made her whimper even more. It was as if something was stuck inside her body and ripped her right open.  
“Do not move”, she heard a strict voice. “Or you might die for sure this time if it starts bleeding again.”  
Guusu tried opening her eyes. Wasn’t she dead? She remembered… she remembered one of the citizens piercing her with a blade, remembered calling out for her brother. Maybe this was what they called hell? Would she be in pain forever? She whimpered once more and tried opening her eyes.  
Then she felt a something cold on her forehead, felt a touch on her hair. When she tried opening her eyes once again, she saw nothing but a big blur, colors, but nothing in particular.  
“Calm down. You make it worse.” The person moved, leaned over her and she felt something on her side getting lifted, felt the cold creeping over her body. She shook, yet it was merely cold. The cool stopped the pain just a little bit. Also she was rather cold than in pain. “It looks a lot better now. Maybe sleeping so much helped you after all.”  
She tried fixing the person’s face, yet still failed.  
“Onii-chan?”, she huskily whispered. Her voice cracked and felt as if she had something stuck in her throat. She got a soft chuckle as an answer.  
“Not really. Wake up before you talk to me.”  
Guusu blinked once again, tried to fix her vision while the person reached for the wet cloth on her forehead, followed the fingers, the wrist, the arm that was covered in a black shirt, over the shoulders until she found a way too familiar face: her own. At least for a second she thought it was. Guusu flinched up, backwards and whined out in pain when she started holding her side. She tried getting backwards on the bed she was sitting on, shaking in fear and due to her aching side. Utterly terrified she stared into the face she thought to never see again: Swan. The admiral himself, just without the hat, the coat and the shoes. All he had on was a black shirt and white pants. He leaned back on his chair, pulled aside the ash-blond hair and crossed his arms in front of his chest.   
“Onii-chan”, Guusu whispered once again, looked around. Where was her brother? He should be around, shouldn’t he? She still had his scream ringing in her ear, him calling out for her.   
“He is not here.”   
Swan stood up, walked through the room. Only then she noticed how demolished the room looked. Everything was messed up, the cupboards thrown over, scratches and cracks everywhere and the curtain ripped. However she remembered that room from last time. It was Swan’s bedroom. Guusu’s hand shook while she pulled away her curls from her face. What happened? Everything seemed so different. The only thing lighting up the room was the candle beside the bed and even when Swan pulled aside the curtain to peek outside, no light came in.  
“You should stop being so upset before you start calling out for anyone. For your general information: It was me who saved you from certain death.” He looked at her from over his shoulder. “So I would appreciate it if you would not die after I took care of you for the last few days.”  
“You… Y-You… what?”  
He turned towards her and she felt like freezing. His cold, calm attitude scared her, made her pull closer her cover and she did her best not to want to hide under it. However she couldn’t stop her tears from coming up.  
“I saved your life, if I have to spell it out for you, after you were left to die during the battle. And it was not easy considering I had to force you to wake up so that you would not starve or dry up. So you may treat me as a friend for now. After all, we are both sitting in the same boat. I am not going to hurt you, Guusu.”  
“How do you know my name? A-And why are you alive?”  
Her voice was still trembling and Swan crossed his arms behind his back when he turned around completely to face her.  
“I know you all believed me to be dead. I was not as dead as you thought I was, merely unconscious. I suppose my heart-rate was down enough so that you would not feel my pulse. When I came to my senses, with broken ribs and pain in every limb, I dragged myself into an unused room so that I would recover. I sure did slip through death’s pawn. Just like you.”  
For some reason her shaking wouldn’t stop. Slowly she put her hands into her lap, still felt the pain in her side, yet it dulled down to a simply pulsating pain. Once more she tried to recall what had happened but her mind was blank. She couldn’t remember anything after she was stabbed.  
“It is really fascinating how much we look alike”, she heard Swan whisper, heard his footsteps on the floor. Even if he wasn’t wearing heels, it still echoed in the room. He stopped in front of the bed and sat down on the chair once again. “Fascinating indeed…”  
“Where’s my brother?”, Guusu then blurred out. “He surely has to be around somewhere, right? I… I have to tell him I’m fine. He’s surely worried.” She tried putting on a smile. “I can’t have him worried. I already gave him so much trouble. He…” When she saw Swan’s cold eyes, she stopped and her smile melted off. “W-What is it?”  
“You don’t remember, do you?”  
“Remember what?”  
“… Your brother will not come back for you.”  
“Of course he will! He always looked out for me and…”  
“He left you there to die.” Guusu stared at him in disbelieve. “You were bait, nothing more.”  
She felt the tears running down her face, flinched back even more while still staring into Swan’s black eyes. Bait? What was that supposed to mean?   
“He… no… Onii-chan always looks out for me. He… he will… come back…”  
“Do you not wonder how I was able to pick you up? I came for you long after the battle died down, with you almost already dead. If he would always come back for you, then why did he not pick you up and bring you to safety so he could burry you with honor later?”   
Guusu stared on her hands, felt her tears dripping down her face and landing on the back of her hands. Could he… could he really…? But no. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Why would her brother do something like that? She loved him so much after all, for all her life.   
“He wouldn’t”, she mumbled, her voice shaking once more. “He… he…”  
“Shall I tell you what happened?” With teary eyes, she looked at Swan. It was just as hard as before looking at him. “When he saw that the two of us are so similar, he used you for his needs, for distracting Giseru, to make him vulnerable. With me apparently killed by Gida, Giseru was the only thing that stood between him and Quasar.” He softly shook his head. “We were both betrayed by the people we thought loved us, Guusu.”  
Ignoring the pain in her side, the long haired blonde pulled closer her legs, started sobbing and wrapped her arms around her legs, started sobbing against her knees. Had her brother been this mad with her? That she wanted a better life? For that slip she had when she accidently had him beaten up? Didn’t he… didn’t he love her anymore?  
She felt a soft pull on her shoulder and the next moment she found herself against Swan’s chest, held herself on his shirt and sobbed against his shoulder when he pet her head. There was no way she was able to control her body’s shaking and the pain inside was way worse than the pain in her side.   
“He got what he wanted. His little revolution. He was willing to sacrifice you in order to get it and what he considers a better life. This is not how a brother should behave.”  
“I… I-I… I thought… he…” Guusu could only stammer.  
“Hush now. You need to recover.” He lifted her chin so that he could look at her. “If he does not care about you, then why should you for him? Stop your tears and recover.”  
She put her head on his shoulder once more, snuggled up closer to the admiral though she couldn’t stop her tears from running.   
“It hurts”, she whimpered under her breath. Both body and something inside her hurt. She just couldn’t stop crying and instead sobbed harder. “It hurts so much.”  
“I know. Even if your wound heals up, it will not stop hurting, Guusu. I can tell.”  
“I don’t want it to hurt.”  
“Let us make a deal then.” Guusu looked up to him. It was so strange having someone she had to look up to. Around her parts, she always had been the tallest. “You do your best and recover from your wound and I will think of a way to make it stop hurting. Everything will be fine in time.”  
“But Onii-chan…”  
“He is not your brother anymore. He is not your family anymore. In his eyes, you are a symbol for what he rebelled against just because you have my face and for that he will kill you if you dare to search for him.” He stroke her cheek and whipped away her tears. “The closest thing to a family you have for now is me.”  
  
She believed him. What else was she able to do? She was all by herself, hurt and hardly able to move. All she could do is stay in the room, sometimes getting up and doing babysteps just so that her legs got used to moving again and waiting for Swan to come back when he went outside, locking her in. Every time he told her if she heard something, she should go hide just in case it wouldn’t be him and so she did. She only came out when she could be sure that it indeed was Swan coming back and every time she felt like falling around his neck just because he didn’t leave her alone. When the admiral was in, he usually sat at the desk he somehow got up again, writing and drawing pictures. During that time, Guusu usually sat by the window, stared outside. Everything around this part was still messed up just as it was inside these halls. Sometimes she still thought of her brother and every time her tears would come up again and she would start sobbing. Swan reacted by coming up to her, pull her close and hold her until her sobs had died down.   
  
“It looks much better now”, he said one day when he was looking at her wound. By that time she could hardly feel anything anymore and Swan already pulled out the stitches. It would leave a scar, however she was alive and that was what was important. His words even made her smile a little.  
“And what do we do now?”, Guusu asked and crossed her legs on the bed.   
“We obviously can not stay here forever. Food is already hard to come by and sooner or later they would find us anyway.”  
She stared on her feet, pulled the skirt over them and gulped hardly. She knew what ‘finding’ meant when it came out of Swan’s mouth. It meant that they would kill them as soon as both of them were in sight. It wouldn’t only be her brother being after her, instead pretty much everyone she once considered her friend. Swan sat down on the bed, reached forward and played with one of Guusu’s curls. He made a habit out of doing it, wrapped it around his finger and for some reason it calmed her down just a little bit. It made her come closer to him, snuggle up in his arms and close her eyes when he started petting her head.  
“As far as I can judge it, we have two possibilities: run or fight. Run forever in fear or fight for what we want and deserve.”  
“I don’t want to fight”, she mumbled, grabbed his shirt a little harder.  
“So you do not want a better life?”  
“I do…”  
“It will not come falling into your lap. You have to work for it. Fight for it. It is only justice if we take back what they took from us.”  
Guusu sat up and looked at the admiral.  
“But Onii-chan always said that the system was wrong! That people suffered because of it!”  
“I do not claim that the system was perfect but it worked. Besides: do you not suffer now? Think of all the soldiers whose only purpose and goal in life was serving and protecting. With these madmen running around, who should they be protecting? Because of this rebellion, there is nothing that could be protected anymore, only chaos. The system worked because it gave people a cause, a reason.”  
She lowered her gaze, felt Swan’s hand running through her hair. He was right. People still suffered and surely they wouldn’t be the only one. Every once in a while when she was sitting by the window, she saw former soldiers running in between the ruins of this once proud city.  
“You are nothing more but an outsider to them. The enemy, if you want to put it that way.” He made her look at him. “Tell me: will you fight? Or will you run?”  
Guusu looked at him in silence for a while. She had nothing more to lose, did she? Her brother had abandoned her and it seemed she only had been part of his plan all along. Maybe… maybe the system hadn’t been so bad after all? She remembered having a lot of fun, having her friends around her. With the rebellion, all of this was gone and sadness was the only thing left.  
“Will you stay?”, she asked silently. She didn’t want to be alone.   
A small smile curled up his thin lips.  
“Of course I will. We are family, right?”  
He pulled her closer again and hugged her tightly. For that second, she felt safe while he played with her hair, pet her and protected her from the evil of the outside world. She closed her eyes and buried her face on his chest.  
“I’ll fight for you, Onii-san.”  
  
“I-It’s so heavy…”  
“It will get lighter in time.”  
“But Onii-san… my arm already hurts.”  
“As I just said: it will get better in time. You just have to get used to it. Now straighten your back and lower your elbows. You want to give your opponent as less opportunity as possible to strike you.”  
Guusu gulped hard, forced her arm up once again. She couldn’t tell how long they were already doing this, but her body hurt, her muscles were shaking and rebelling and she was deadly tired. Swan however seemed to not be even touched by any of this. He was still standing proud in front of her, his sword in front of him and waiting for her to be ready again. Once more Guusu wondered if she could ever even get close to his level of perfection.   
“Ready?”  
She wasn’t. The admiral told her how to move, what to do, how to react, however due to her tiredness and her aching body she couldn’t keep up with everything. Still she nodded. He looked at her for a second, jumped forward and startled her so much that she was falling over backwards with a scream. In fear that the sword would come crushing down on her, piercing her like it did before, she raised her arms above her head, became smaller on her spot and started sobbing slightly. The sword however didn’t come.  
“Are you hurt?” When she peeked between her arms, Swan was standing in front of her with his face still the same. “Answer.”  
“N-No”, she whispered, lowered her arms and looked up to him.  
“Then what are you waiting for? Get up. In battle, I might be covering your back however I will not be helping you get on your feet. It is about time you get more autonomous. Start by getting up on your own.”  
Slowly she forced herself up, patted down the dirt that was on the trousers Swan gave her before and looked at the cut on her sleeve where he hit her earlier. His eyes were still fixed on her, watching her every move. Finally he sat down the sword and stopped right in front of her.  
“That should be enough for today. You did well considering how little training you had so far.”  
His words put a smile on her face.  
“Was it really good?”  
“Yes. Keep it up and I will be very proud of you, Guusu. However…” He stepped closer and pulled forward the hair that she had bound into a ponytail. “… I suppose we need to shorten your hair. I fear that it will be a burden to you in actual battle. Actually it might burden you in general.”  
“W-What? Why?” The smile fell off her lips and she looked at her hair. It had gotten even longer than before.  
“Someone might grab you and hold you on your hair. It is way harder to do with short hair. Also I suppose if we can put together another army, they might not respect you as much as they should.”  
“But… But Onii-san…”  
“Did you not like it, Guusu? When you took over my place? That everyone was listening to your every word and did what you wanted to? They fulfill your every wish if you manage to get the proper authority. It will be easier for you if you look a little more like me, a little more like my sister.”  
  
“And… and it’s really okay?”  
“I told you to stop stammering.”  
She inhaled once more.  
“Is it okay, Onii-san? The clothes are yours after all.”  
“It is fine. I do not use this uniform anymore anyway. I kept it as a leftover from my time before I became admiral.”  
Guusu turned the hat in her hand that her brother gave her, took another gaze into the mirror. The clothes felt so familiar, just like Swan’s uniform back when she was still playing her role as admiral Swan. It looked pretty familiar as well, just the colors… they were simply flipped. Her shirt was red, the vest black, the coat white and the ornaments on them deep red just as her shoes. The hat in her hand was also white with the empire’s symbol on it. Her brother put on his usual uniform. He told her that it was so people would recognize him and that it was the clothes he could fight best in. Still she felt unsure if she could pull it off. She couldn’t tell how much time had passed since that day she woke up on the bed, her body filled with pain and her soul with loneliness where her brother saved her from but she knew that it had been way too long. The face she had when she was looking in the mirror was different, more harsh and lost what the people she used to call friends called cute. Slowly she put on her hat, rearranged it and put on the black gloves from the table. It was scary how perfect this fit her considering they were her brother’s clothes.   
“Guusu.” She turned to her brother who came up to her, putting his hand under her chin and raised it just a little higher. “I thought I told you to raise your head up higher. Be proud just as I am of you. You learned well and you are ready.”  
“I’m still scared, Onii-san.”  
“No reason to be scared.”   
Slowly, she nodded. If he said it would be fine, then it would be fine. She knew the people outside were just waiting for them, admiring them and together they would take back everything. They would give everyone a purpose and peace. This storm, the total destruction of what they called republic, was the only way to bring back order. Swan stepped forward, pressed a light kiss on her forehead. No one but him was able to do this and no one but him was able to lead them.   
“Come now, Kugui. It is about time that you too will spread your wings.”  
She nodded, picked up the sword from the bed, the very sword that had pierced her before, and hurried after her brother. Her wings would cause this storm.


	27. Something better than sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Contains Yuri. Don't like, don't read

Once more she checked the watch, pulled on her plain, white shirt she had on for sleeping and slipped inside her panties before she left the bathroom with another towel around her shoulders.   
“She’s late”, Asako mumbled, made her way downstairs. She was still unfamiliar with this apartment though she had been here often enough so that the other would give her the key. She still wondered why she was even given that thing but then again she was flattered by the trust the other had in her by just handing it over to her, saying she could come over anytime even without her around. Asako still wasn’t quite sure where to put their relationship anyway. One moment they were simply friends, sitting by each other on the couch, the next they were sitting on each other’s laps, feeling up each other until one of them came to their senses and broke away. During that hazy state, she couldn’t even tell if they even had kissed or not. She remembered the other’s lips on her neck, her shoulders, remembered nibbling on her neck but actual kissing? Asako blushed by the pure thought of it.  
“Where is she anyway?”  
It was so unlikely for her not to be home around this time. Asako already gave up trying to keep the food warm and just packed it in so the other could reheat it when she felt the need to. Once more, she sighed and headed for the living room. Yet just when she was about to enter she heard the keys from outside, leaned back and watched the door for a few seconds. It took some time, but finally the door opened and a giggling, tipsy Saeko almost fell inside. She threw the door shut behind her, leaned against it.  
“Oh hey”, the older said when she spotted Asako in the doorway. “I didn’t know you were still awake.”  
She was slurring so bad that the younger hardly could understand her and when she was coming closer she noticed that the Top Star was not only tipsy, but downright drunk. Asako could smell the Pina Colada she had earlier and some other fruity stuff she couldn’t put her finger on. The other held herself on the wall and grinned right at her.  
“I waited for you.”  
“In that outfit. You make me blush.”  
“I don’t think my outfit makes you blush, but the drinks you had.” Asako wrinkled her nose. “Definitely the drinks. How much did you have?”  
“I don’t know. One? Two? Threefourfivesix?” She hiccupped. “I can’t remember.”  
“I’ll get you to bed. Don’t throw up on me.”  
“I don’t feel like throwing up. I want to dance some more, Asa-chan.”  
“You, my friend, need sleep.”  
Asako came closer in order to pull Saeko off the wall, however when she did she suddenly found herself trapped between the wall and said woman. She had Saeko’s face way too close to her own, felt the breath brushing her cheeks and smelled something that reminded her of mango. Or pineapple? She couldn’t tell.   
“I know what I need right now…” Her elder’s voice was merely a whisper, put her hands on Asako’s hips. “… and it’s not sleep.”  
Asako blushed harder, felt her whole face going red when she stared into Saeko’s deep, dark eyes and instantly fled her hands shaking.  
“S-Sae…” The fingertips brushed the skin of her naked upper leg and a shiver ran down her spine when she tried to hold the other. “S-Stop. You’re… you’re drunk…”  
“I still know what I want. And I want you so bad.”  
Just split seconds after that, she felt the other’s lips on her neck, felt the other sucking and out of pure reflex she let out a moan and buried her fingers in Saeko’s shirt.  
“Sae…”, she tried once more. “I… but you… I-I mean…”  
“Don’t tell me you don’t want this. I know you do.” Saeko pressed her body closer against hers and slipped her fingers down her lower back, slipped inside the panties on her butt and pushed her closer against her. “I want you for so long now, Asa-chan. You have no idea how many times I stayed awake just thinking what would be the best way to make sure you scream my name in pleasure. How hot you can become, how you feel, how you smell. You don’t know how badly I want my head between your legs.” Just the mere thoughts made Asako shiver harder. Saeko raised her head and stopped right in front of her lips. “How bad I want to kiss you and feel you moan against my tongue.”  
For a few endless seconds Asako stared at the other, panted by these promises. She imagined how those slim, soft fingers made their way over her body, between her legs, how it felt like having her inside and once more she entered that hazy state where she had no more control over what she was doing, yet her mind was so clear. Asako leaned forward, grabbed Saeko’s collar and pulled her in. It seemed so natural how their lips met and how she could easily deepen it.   
Saeko’s leg slipped between hers and when she felt the rough fabric of her jeans against her skin, she just had the reflex to rock her hips against it, gasped softly. The taste of lemon was on her lips and Asako inhaled every drop of it. Instead of just letting the other press her even further against the wall, grinding against her, she hastily pulled out the shirt out from under the belt, hardly had any air to gasp and occasionally let out a moan when they just happened to break apart for a split second. She couldn’t even tell how she managed to open the shirt. Maybe she just ripped open the buttons, maybe she somehow managed to open them properly, she couldn’t tell. Instead she felt the soft skin underneath, grinned softly when she figured the other was wearing a bra instead of her usual binder and giggled in slight amusement when she noticed it opened on the front, not the back. It made it easier for her to take a feel of those perfectly shaped breasts, softly brushed the tip with her fingertips and tickled a moan out of Saeko. Asako felt as if the alcohol on the other’s lips was making her tipsy as well.  
“Bedroom”, Asako panted, having Saeko growled slightly in return, squeezing the younger’s butt a little more and made her gasp once again. “And take your clothes off.”  
Asako didn’t resist. She let the other grab her shirt, pull her after her, hardly leaving her lips when they stumbled their way upstairs. Somewhere on the middle of the stairs, her shirt flew right downstairs again, followed by Saeko’s very own shirt and the bra.   
  
They didn’t even get to the bedroom since just as they reached the doorframe, the Top Star pressed the younger woman against the wood once again. In her very drunk state, there was no holding back anymore and by the way Asako had moaned against her when she felt her moving on her upper leg, she became so hot that she wanted more of it, taste and feel more of the other. They would reach the bed in time, sometime. She could hardly let go of Asako’s skin, ran her palms all over her exposed body, her neck, her shoulders, down her arms and sides, over her belly and those remarkable sharp hipbones, over her upper leg and back on that perfectly shaped butt.   
“You’re so fucking beautiful”, Saeko whispered, leaned down (she was still wearing her shoes) and sucked on the other’s bottom lip. “Show me what makes you feel good.”  
Fuck, she was so beautiful. With her shy blushing, with nothing more than her panties on and how she wasn’t able to breathe properly already when she was forcing her leg between the younger’s once more. Saeko was pretty sure that the other didn’t even notice how she was moving against her, how she already felt the wetness on her upper leg and it turned her on even more. The whole evening, with all the little things around her, she had the idea in her head of just pinning Asako against the wall and shoving her hand down her pants.   
“Kiss me more”, the younger finally panted. “I want to feel you. Deep inside me.”  
Saeko grinned against the other’s lips.  
“Feel me?” She pinned Asako’s arms up with one hand, moved the other over her own leg and followed it until she met a wet piece of fabric. “Feel me here?”  
The younger moaned loudly when she pushed softly against the wet spot, moved her fingers back and forth.  
“Y-Yes… There…”  
She moved aside the fabric of those really cute, white panties just enough so that she could dip the tip of her finger inside the other, feeling the other shake and tense under her touch. She leaned forward, sucked on Asako’s neck and whispered against the wet skin, licked the sensitive spot behind her ear.  
“You’re so wet, Asa-chan.” She pushed her finger deeper inside the other, earning another moan. “Just see how easy this is. I wanted to feel you like this for a long time now.”  
“D-Don’t stop.”  
“You want me to move?”  
“Y-Y-Yes… p-please…”  
Asako’s voice died down and Saeko laughed softly before she pulled out just in order to move back in once again. She changed the angle of her fingers every once in a while, inserted another and making the younger throw her head back in pleasure.   
“I wonder…”, Saeko murmured after she got back to kissing the other’s lips. She changed the angle of her fingers once again and finally found what she was looking for. Asako cried out, cried her name and tiptoed on her spot, shaking even harder. That moment Saeko knew she found what she wanted to hit so badly and laughed silently. “Oh there it is.”  
“Do that… do that again.”  
“Do what again?”, she asked innocently, pressed that slightly thicker knot inside the other again and got the exact same reaction. “This?”  
“Yes!”  
“I think I can do that.”  
She continued moving inside the other, pressed her body harder against hers and stroke that very sweet spot that made Asako cry out her name in pleasure, keeping her just close enough to the edge so that she had to push her up in order to stop her from falling over. When she felt the other tightened, she pulled back her fingers, earning an unsatisfied, almost pained moan.  
“Don’t stop”, the younger begged. “Please. Please don’t stop…”  
“Not before I got what I want.” The older woman got on her knees, pulled the other’s panties down in the same move and kissed her hip. She could hardly believe how much the younger was dripping, though she didn’t even want to think about how her own underwear was looking right now, sticking between her legs and eagerly awaiting release. All that was on her mind right now was that incredible smell, the sound the other made and wanted to enjoy it in full. She held Asako’s hips, bit the flesh on her upper leg before she pressed her tongue against the wetness, softly touched her clit and started sucking on her, dipping the tip of her tongue inside the other and felt Asako claw her hair in return. She felt the wetness dripping down her chin, continued taking in every drop she got and stopped just enough to let the other rest so that she could get back at it. That was until Asako started clawing her shoulders and the back of her neck, signalizing that she couldn’t indeed take it anymore. That moment, Saeko pushed her fingers inside the other again, immediately found that sweet spot once more and sucked on her clit, making Asako scream out. She tensed harder under her touch, shook violently until her body broke down. Letting the other pant heavily, the older woman slowly pulled back, got back up on her feet and licked her lips and fingers clean. She still felt so dizzy but for various reasons.  
“You’re so sweet, Asa-chan”, she said, kissing the other once more and purring softly. “I want to do it again.”   
The younger suddenly grabbed her, pushed her over until she hit the side of the bed, fell right on it and had Asako right over her a second later. She leaned on her shoulders, held her down, still gasping for air but with a wicked grin on her face. The younger leaned down until their lips almost touched again and started undoing her belt.  
“My turn first.”


	28. When the TiMErZ is right (1/2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reference to the movie TiMER
> 
> Ayaki Nao - Saeko  
> Sena Jun - Asako  
> Ayana Oto - Hiromi

_“Sae, please get a timer? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease??”  
“Get your own when you’re old enough!”  
“But I want to see it now! You’ll never find your prince like that!”  
“Mum tells you way too many love stories, you know? My friend said it would hurt.”  
“Please?”  
“No.”  
“Pretty please?”  
“I said no.”  
“I give you my dessert for two weeks if you get one.”  
“And you think that would work?”  
“I also won’t tell mum that you went playing with your friends instead of going to cram school.”  
“… Devil. Fine. I’ll ask mum.”  
“I already asked her for you.”  
  
_ Slowly Saeko opened her eyes with her nose still in the pillow. The dream was still present in her mind since it hadn’t really been a dream, more like a memory. Up to this day she remembered her sister sitting by her side, starring at her wrist when she had her timer installed. She didn’t really expect it to start working right away. She had been young and maybe her soulmate wouldn’t ever get one of those timers.  
Timers (they were officially called TiMErZ around these parts, some weird short version of a name she couldn’t remember) were little displays that showed years, days, hours, minutes, even seconds until the day the owner would meet the person that was perfectly matched for them. No one really knew who came up with the system however it worked. Her parents were one of the best examples. The two of them were together since their early days as kids and never been apart since. Of course every girl simply dreamed of meeting their prince charming and it was popular especially with the girls to get their Timers installed as early as possible. Yet they would only show the amount of time once the Timer of their soulmate was installed as well, however men mostly didn’t really bother getting one until they came of age, so Saeko wasn’t even surprised that hers didn’t show anything until around three years after she had hers installed though the moment it DID start with a silent beep scared the crap out of her.   
Slowly she turned her head, raised her arm a little as if she was to check the time on her wrist just to meet the graceful fabric that was wrapped around the timer. After they entered TMS, the girls were required to hide the timer for different purposes. Something about distraction or something along those lines. At first the majority of the girls occasionally peeked under the wristband, were caught and scolded and the older they got, the less they bothered to check since the fabric wasn’t even made for taking it off. It was cut off once they graduated, however Saeko could swear that she sometimes heard the silent tune go off every once in a while. The band wasn’t exactly soundproof.   
  
“Fine… let’s get up already”, she mumbled to herself. That day was the first day of their new rehearsal and being Top Star she was required to be one of the firsts to be there, even though she really didn’t get why. Her role was already set and the troupe would use the first two and a half hours just checking their roles and schedule. The only really important thing for her would be the arrival of two guests they had for the play, two friends of Yuuhi’s. Hard to imagine that Saeko couldn’t remember for the life of her if she ever even talked to one of the two. Well their names rang a bell but somehow she always had been in other troupes and never actually saw them aside from occasional photos in Graph or Kageki.   
She dragged her body around the apartment, went for her usual morning routine: setting up coffee, bathroom, taking her time to pick out her clothes, putting them aside then, breakfast and the finally getting ready to leave. Just when she left the house, her phone went off. She didn’t even need to look on the display to know who it was.  
“Good morning, Hiromi. What is it?”  
“Sae-chaaaaan. Can you come pick me up?”  
“Did you oversleep again?” She sat down in her car. “I told you to go to sleep earlier.”  
“I was learning my lines until late!”  
“Hiromi…”, she said with an angry undertone just to get a soft sigh in return.  
“I was talking to Kimu…”  
“That’s what I thought. Fine. I’ll come right over.”  
  
 _“Why can’t I have one?”_  
“You’re not old enough yet, sis.”  
“But what if I meet my prince the next time we go pick up candy?”  
“You’ll be fine, Asa-chan.”  
“But I want one.”  
“Everything in time. Listen to your brother.”  
“But daddy…”  
“Your mother and I met when we were little, remember? We lost one another but when we had our timers installed, we found back to one another.”  
“… I still want one.”  
“I promise to go get you one on your birthday, okay?”  
“Okay!”  
  
A wet, slippery, warm and cold mess on her hand finally made her open her eyes. Her TV was still running with some advertisement for some play sometime in some way. She couldn’t even properly see it since she wasn’t wearing her glasses. Another lick on her hand made her groan and turn over.  
“Buuh-chan, stop it.”  
Once more, she had fallen asleep on her couch. Her script was on the floor, the tee on the table cold and the sun already up. Lazily she reached for the phone beside the cup. Four missed calls. What the hell did she do now again? All the calls were from Yuuhi. Couldn’t be important, she thought, however just when she was about to push the button to make it go away, her eyes caught the time.  
“Holy sh-…”, she screamed out and in her attempt to jump off the couch, her foot got caught in the cover that was wrapped around her feet and she fell off. Blanche, being the good dog he was, walked up to her and let out a silent whimper.  
“I know, I know! I’m sorry! We’ll go for a walk really quick, but mommy has to hurry, okay?”  
The result was that she, still dragging the cover around because she couldn’t really get it off her foot, ran inside the bathroom. She would get something to eat on the way, somehow, but she knew she would be late. Maybe if she got ready in the first place, she could drop off Blanche and immediately drive to the theatre.  
“Well that’s the only way I can do it”, she sighed to herself and threw some water in her face. She was way too tired for all of this. It was the first day of rehearsal after all and she had to make a good figure in front of all those people she barely knew and their Top Stars. She never even bothered getting to know said Top Stars. Osa always made fun of how they didn’t fit together at all and made fun of how funny it would have been if their Timers would have gone off when they first met. Asako had been there once when the soft jingle of two Timers went off between two Siennes, remembered in what trouble they got since out of all people, it had happened right in front of the whole troupe. Ever since she prayed that nothing of the sorts ever happened to her while in Takarazuka. After all that drama, Asako wasn’t even sure anymore if getting the Timer at her early age had been a good idea after all. She had heard stories about people getting in trouble because their Timer went off on the “wrong” person and people marrying a person other than their soulmate after all because it had been easier in this society. One could never tell when, where and in front of who the Timer would go off and Asako knew hers would. Even though she couldn’t tell the exact time anymore, she remembered the year and this was it. Just before TMS, before they were compelled to wear these wristbands over their Timer, she had remembered the year and usually ticked off the day on her calendar. Sometimes she had forgotten to do so and the result was her knowing the year but no longer remembering the exact day and time. She didn’t even bother to check anymore.  
“Come on, Buuh-chan”, she said when she finally was ready to go out the door, sat down her bag beside the door so that she could pick it up when she let Blanche inside again.  
  
“I still can’t believe you never met the two”, Hiromi said when she got out the car again in front of the theatre. “You would get along so well with them.”  
“What makes you think that?”  
“Well I know Sena a little better than Kashige but they are really funny! Yuuhi said they are a lot like you, actually.”  
“What makes you think that?”  
“… I…” Hiromi stopped for a second. “I just know, okay? We both know I’m better at reading people than you are.”  
“I know. And you just love setting up dates.”  
Saeko grinned widely while looking at her pouting little sister.  
“I was lucky every once in a while, too.”  
“Why do I already know you’ll end up as a happy housewife one day who loves to tease her friends about everything?”  
Hiromi’s smile softened a little.  
“Well if I meet the right person in a few years… why not?”  
“You remember the time on your Timer?”  
“Sure? Don’t you?”  
“I didn’t bother to remember.”  
Hiromi looked at her in shock.  
“I thought you did! What if it goes off when you’re giving an interview?”  
“Not everyone cares so much about it as you do. And if it goes off, I’ll be fine.”  
“But…”  
“Hiromi. Listen, dear. It’s fine and I’m sure I’ll be happy with whatever person I’ll meet.”  
“… And if it’s a woman?”, the younger asked more silently when they walked towards the entrance.  
“I’m friends with Wataru.”  
Hiromi rolled her eyes and Saeko knew she didn’t need to talk further. Wataru’s Timer already went off years ago, however before that, Saeko had a little taste what it was like being with a woman and to be honest: she wouldn’t even mind being with one. She always had been way more comfortable with women than with men.  
“I’ll see you later”, Hiromi said before she went inside and Saeko took her time and got out the rest of her breakfast. It was sunny and she still had plenty of time, so she decided to go for a snack, sat down on a small bench and looked up in the bright blue, lit sky. She loved these moments of silence, just her and a few to none people around here. Usually she would go for a walk then but she couldn’t afford starting to daydream again and walk off far away like it had happened last time. She had been around an hour late then, just enjoying the sun and the air. Instead she leaned back, closed her eyes, took a bite of her snack every once in a while until she finally felt as if she had to get up or else she would fall asleep. She picked up her bag and went inside, headed for the elevator. It took some time after she pushed the button until it finally opened. Of course he could have taken the stairs but to be honest: she was lazy when it came to stairs. She was walking up and down enough when they were on stage and with an unbelievably heavy feathery wheel on her back and she felt as if she should be allowed to take the elevator every once in a while even for just two floors.  
“Hold the door!”, she heard a yelling when she went inside and without even looking she pushed the button to make the door stay open longer. The woman stumbled inside and Saeko couldn’t help but giggle slightly, still staring on the button and letting it finally go, looking up on the numbers.  
“Well someone overslept”, she said grinning widely.  
“Sorry”, the other panted. “Of course I happen to oversleep on my first day in Tsukigumi. I’ll never hear the end of it from Yuuhi and Kashi, I swear.”  
“Ah so it’s Sena then, yes? Nice to have you in my troupe”, Saeko said with a slight laugh, looked over to the other. She was leaning on her knees, sweat on her forehead and looking down. “At least you had your morning workout already.”  
Sena laughed a little, finally straightened her back and whipped the sweat off her forehead with a cloth she pulled out pocket.   
“Sorry to leave this first impression on you, Ayaki-san. I didn’t mean it.”  
“It’s okay. I know that feeling.”  
“Anyway it’s nice to meet y-…”  
When Sena looked up and Saeko got a quite stunning view of her dark brown eyes, a soft jingle stopped the other from talking on. Saeko took a second to look around, yet looked down on the black band around her wrist that couldn’t hold back the sound. The two of them stood there in dead silence and when she looked up, she noticed Sena also staring on her wrist until the tune went silent after a few seconds and the door of the elevator opened. Saeko was the first to react, pushed the button to make the door close again. Most of the actresses took the stairs, so maybe they would have a bit of time before someone called it again.  
“Sena…”, she started.  
“No.” Sena almost spat out that word. Instead Saeko could see the panic rising up inside her. “Just… shut up, okay? This can’t be! I can’t be with a woman! I’m straight! I won’t…”  
“Be quiet!”, Saeko then said.  
“What do you know?! I didn’t get the Timer…”  
“I also had no idea when it would go off. But you’re overreacting.”  
“Overreacting?! You’re Top Star and I’m also in a fucking high position! I can’t afford to…”  
“No one even heard that aside from the both of us”, Saeko interfered.  
“But…”  
“No. Listen: I see that it bothers you a lot. I didn’t expect it either.” Saeko inhaled deeply, yet restrained from touching the shaking woman. “If it makes you feel better, we’ll just forget about it.”  
“How could I…?”  
“No one heard it. No one saw it.”  
Sena sighed, yet the anger in her voice was still present.  
“… We’ll never talk about it again”, Sena finally said and leaned forward to press the button in order to open the door again. “I’ll never hook up with a woman and especially not with another Otokoyaku.”  



	29. When the TiMErZ is right (2/2)

“I really can’t do it today.”  
“Sena-san, we’re really behind on schedule. We need to work on that dance very soon.”  
“I know but I don’t feel well. I also slipped on the stairs earlier and my foot still hurts. I can still do some extra singing lessons instead.”  
The director sighed.  
“Fine”, he said. “Make sure you see a doctor about your foot.”  
“I will if it’s not better by tomorrow.”  
With that, the director left her on the bench and started packing up his stuff. Asako avoided his gaze at all cost. It was not like her to talk her way around this, however she couldn’t even start thinking about this. It had been over half a year since her timer went off on that day in the elevator and ever since her mind broke into pieces every once in a while. The first days after the incident, she retreated fully from all of this, called in sick for a day to clear her mind. However when she came back, Saeko really kept her word and pretended nothing ever had happened. She was nice, practiced hard and talked to her every once in a while but never really made a step towards her. No question if they wanted lunch together, not a mention of that day and no word of their Timers. After a few weeks, Asako even managed to let the thought go completely and concentrate on work since she couldn’t even tell Osa about it. The only time she met Saeko out of rehearsals, they went out together with a few other of their friends, including Yuuhi and Kiriyan (who she grew quite found of), Ryuu and a few younger women. She liked the troupe a lot.  
Until she was supposed to go back to Hanagumi. People suddenly came up to her, congratulating her on her role and wished her the best of luck in her new troupe. They told her that not only would she change troupes but become Top Star, too. Tsukigumi’s Top Star to be precise. But what hit her the most was the role she would play for Saeko’s last show: Elisabeth. A woman again.  
Thinking about it, it hadn’t been so bad at first until the day she realized how close Saeko really was to her while rehearsals and around that time she started making excuses to not do these scenes with her. She just felt so uncomfortable staring into her eyes, having her touch her and the thought of having to lean on her, hold her tight and getting held in return made her shake violently. The pairdance took the cake. She didn’t want these images in her head, forced them down before they took ground.  
Asako sighed and made her way over to her singing instructor. Limping to make it believable.  
“Can we start?”  
  
Saeko just shook her head when she left the rehearsal-room, following her sister down the stairs. She had agreed to drive her home earlier if Asako happened to somehow convince the director that they shouldn’t rehears the pairdance again. To be honest: she felt bad. About everything. Soon after her timer went off back then with Asako, she announced her retirement, just to make it easier for all of them. She really liked Elisabeth and also felt that it would be a good piece to retire with, yet her main reason was probably the Timer. Even if Asako somehow managed to treat her like a human being, talk to her and even laugh sometimes, she felt the distance between them and after she knew that Asako would follow her footsteps instead of Osa’s, she knew it was her time to leave Takarazuka. She already heard about people who preferred to take another partner instead of the one they were destined to be with but she never even imagined she would be one of those.   
It pained her. Having Asako around was way nicer than she even imagined and sometimes she caught herself staring at the other, watching her from afar and wonder if it had ever worked under different circumstances. It was a pity that her Timer wasn’t synched with Wataru’s. Her friend never had a problem being with a woman and, after some convincing, she and her partner had a solid, working relationship, even if Wataru sometimes went off flirting with some Musumeyaku.   
“What’s her problem anyway?”, Hiromi suddenly burst out angrily. “Does she think she can do that forever? I saw her perfectly walking just minutes ago!”  
“Let it off, Hiromi.”  
“But it’s your last show! Why aren’t you angry about her? She’s ruining it, Sae!”  
“I know that.”  
“Then why are you so calm about it?!”  
“To be honest… I understand her.”  
Saeko felt her sister’s eyes in her back when she walked around the car and got in, threw her bag on the back and searched for her keys. Hiromi sat down beside her and continued looking at her.  
“What do you mean? You can? Do you want to ruin your own show, or what?”  
“It’s not that.”  
“Then what?”  
“She’s comfortable with dancing and her role. She’s just not comfortable with me.”  
“Bullshit. I saw you two talking. You harmonize perfectly well together. When we were eating together last time, the two of you hardly heard anybody else talking.”  
Saeko looked over to her sister, put her hands on the wheel and continued looking at her fingers. She couldn’t tell what to think of it. She didn’t even notice how intense the contact between her and Asako sometimes was.  
“Tell me the truth, sis”, Hiromi suddenly started and Saeko looked at her once again. “What’s up with the two of you? We promised to be honest with one another.”  
The Top Star felt her heart getting heavy, sighed and ran her hand through her hair.  
“Promise not to tell mum and dad”, she mumbled, waited until Hiromi gave her approval before she continued talking. “When Asako first came in our troupe, she was late and we happened to meet one another inside the elevator. My timer started ringing that second.”  
She didn’t get an answer, so Saeko looked at her sister’s pale and shocked face. The younger started babbling the beginnings of some sentences, yet decided that she should rather stay quiet. Saeko smiled a bit, sadly, but she did.  
“Do you now see the problem?”, she asked softly.   
“Actually… no I don’t.” The younger looked intensely at her. “Mum and dad already said that they would be happy with everyone you’ll end up with. Heck they even wished for Wataru or that other girl you were with once. What stops you with Sena?”  
“It’s not about me.” She sighed again. “It’s about her. She doesn’t want me.”  
“Oh I can see how she does ‘not’ want you. You should see how she stares at you when she thinks no one is looking.”  
“It doesn’t really matter. She doesn’t want to be with a woman.”  
“Then convince her!”  
“I can’t force anything on her!”  
“Sae she wants you! Kiriyan already wondered why the two of you never were caught making out in the closet or something! I don’t want your life to get ruined just because she can’t figure out her priorities! I can’t stand seeing you hurt like this!”  
Saeko felt the knot in her throat getting thicker and decided to stare out the window again. She knew that her sister could read her like an open book, so she didn’t even try to pretend that she wasn’t hurt by those words. She felt her sister’s hand on her shoulder.  
“Please? Just try to work it out.”  
“Hiromi I don’t know…”  
“What’s the worst that can happen?”  
“Asako hating me for the rest of her life.”  
“She’s your soulmate. She won’t.”  
Saeko took her time before she managed to put on a smile again. She was glad that she had a sister like Hiromi, even though she was almost scared of how much she grew up.  
“I still remember the time you went on my nerves getting the timer in the first place.”  
“And now I try to make it up to you.” Hiromi grinned widely. “Go before she gets any ideas.”  
The Top Star hesitated before she left the car.  
  
Once more Asako tried to hit that particular note, yet her voice failed her once more. She just was way too done to sing anymore, yet she had to somehow make up for the loss of time and that was the only way she thought possible. She didn’t want to dance, she didn’t want to rehears those scenes and she felt like the walls closed in around her.  
“Sena-san…”, the instructor said. “I think you practiced enough singing. If you continue like that, your voice will suffer under it.”  
“I’m fine. I’ll just try once more.”  
“But…”  
“I need to finish anyway, don’t I? I couldn’t do anything all day and I want to make up for it now.” She heard the door, yet didn’t bother to turn around to look. “Just once more, please.”  
The instructor didn’t say anything and instead stared past her. Asako followed his eyes and felt her mouth getting dry when she saw Saeko closing the door behind her.  
“What can I do for you, Ayaki-san?”, the instructor asked. Saeko looked back and forth between them before answering.  
“Would you mind leaving us alone? It’s late anyway and you should go home. I need to talk to my co-star.”  
Asako wanted to protest, yet when she inhaled, Saeko raised her hand and just asked the instructor to hurry up. He quickly left the room, leaving the two of them alone. Already Asako felt uncomfortable.  
“We have nothing to talk about”, the younger growled, walked over to her bag. She didn’t even bother to limp anymore.  
“We do.”   
“No we don’t.” She grabbed her bag. “We talked about everything already.”  
“Asako…” Just when she wanted to slip past the Top Star, the other grabbed her arm. “Asa come on. Don’t be such a child.”  
“I’m not a child! I just don’t want to be around you.”  
“What is your problem anyway? What did I do to you?”, Saeko asked angrily, gripping her arm harder. “You are ruining everything! As person and as actress! Is it what you want?”  
Asako felt that she started shaking, looked down on her feet. The other stepped closer just enough so that she saw the tip of her shoes as well.  
“I… n-no…” Her voice was nothing but a whisper. “I just…”  
She felt the tip of Saeko’s fingers under her chin, lifting it up and looked at her with sad, dark eyes.  
“Am I such a terrible person to deserve this? I thought we got along well.”  
She couldn’t help but trying to hold back the tears that were filling up her eyes. It already had been hard enough as it was and now she felt it got worse.  
“That’s the problem. I don’t want us to go along so well. I don’t want to… to…”  
Unable to even speak it out loudly, she grabbed the other’s hand on her face and lowered her eyes once again. Saeko held her hand softly, even got a little bit closer.   
“I’m sorry for making you so uncomfortable.” The husky voice sent shivers down her spine. “I honestly didn’t want to make you feel so torn.”  
Now she couldn’t hold back a sob anymore and Saeko, without her even asking to, pulled her into a tight embrace, held her softly when Asako almost clawed the older woman’s back as if she could fall to her death if she didn’t do so. If it only didn’t feel so good, too good and Asako just cried harder. All the frustration she had piled up for weeks, months even, broke her feet and made her collapse.  
“I’m so scared”, she finally got out between sobs.  
“I know.” Saeko hugged her even tighter. “I’m sorry I scared you.”  
“Not you!” Asako angrily pulled back just enough to look at the other. “Everyone else! My family! My brother! Do you have any idea how they would react if I told them that my soulmate that I fell so hard for is a woman?” Her shaking fingers ran over her Top Star’s beautiful face. She closed her eyes and leaned her forehead against Saeko’s, her voice getting weaker again.“Why couldn’t you just be a guy? It would make things so much easier…”  
“What’s so wrong with being a girl?”  
“It’s not right…”  
“It’s just not the norm. Wataru is also with a girl and they work perfectly fine. Also… did you ever try talking to your parents about something like this? It’s not unusual for the likes of us that our soulmate is the same gender.”  
“… Whose parents like to see their daughter hooking up with another girl?”  
She just couldn’t imagine it. Her whole life had been looking for a prince, not a princess.   
“Well… if you really want to know… mine.” Asako looked at her in disbelieve. “They promised they would accept whatever kind of human my soulmate would be as long as this person made me happy. I never told them about you but I’m sure that they would be head over heels for you if they got to know you. You’re charming, you’re funny and you work so hard for what you want. Most importantly: you make me happy when you’re around me. Just talking to you makes me calm and holding you like this…” She stopped for a second, seemed to search for the right words. “It… it makes me feel like home. When you’re not around I don’t feel like myself. Every parent should appreciate and accept the fact when their children fall in love with another and feel like this, no matter the gender.” Saeko gulped and Asako watched the tears filling up her eyes. “I’m not asking you to scream it into everyone’s face. I’m just asking you to let me try proving my worth. If they get to know me then maybe… maybe they will accept me. I want to be with you and I know you want the same.”  
As silence filled the room once again, Asako carefully reached up and pulled some hair out of the older woman’s face, watching her in her fight to hold back her tears. It didn’t change that she was scared, terrified even of the world and what it meant if she agreed to this. Then again, she felt that she couldn’t get away anymore. The pull was simply too strong. Even if she tried, she would be running back into the arms she felt so comfortable in. Carefully she leaned forward, touched her soulmate’s lips with her own until they were locked in a kiss that felt like eternity. She didn’t need any words to express how she felt, what she needed and finally she understood why meeting a soulmate was so important, accepting them even more. They soothed the soul and made the pain go away and even as the world outside darkened, she felt save and warm inside her love’s arms.


	30. I just like to smear it everywhere

“Renta…”, Mikkii sighed. “That’s really sweet of you, but no.”  
Renta let out the biggest pout she could pull and it made Mikkii roll her eyes. Wasn’t it enough that she had to play Belle already?   
“Don’t be such a crybaby. We wear red lipstick all the time”, Shiiran added, grinning widely. “And I remember you were really found of smearing it all over other people.”  
Mikkii blushed and knitted the thin headband in her lap.  
“Oh give me a break! That was one time! And you started it!”  
Also she really didn’t want Renta to hear that. She didn’t look at her but she knew Renta was burning with jealousy again, like she always did when Shiiran threw the hint that they had a relationship, as short as it had been.   
“Fine”, Mikkii finally growled. “Fine I’ll put it on. Give me a minute.”  
She got up, left her friends behind, even though she swore that Beni slapped Shiiran’s shoulder pretty hard just as she entered the bathroom. She never got used to Beni’s bathroom. It was too stuffed, makeup was everywhere and Beni never really bothered sorting out her stuff. With a soft sigh, Mikkii put on the headband she got, a gift from Nene, and took a closer look at the lipstick Renta gave her. It was a shade of red, but a much deeper shade she was used to. The only time she wore red lipstick was on stage and only if she needed to. This lipstick was bloodred, dark and sensual and somehow it freaked her out. What if she looked stupid with that? She didn’t want to look like an idiot, so she did stood in front of the mirror, unsure how and how much to apply, growled in frustration and let her head fall down. The knock at the door made her look up, over and she called the person in. To be honest, she didn’t expect Renta to step in.  
“You forgot your stuff”, she said, handing Mikkii a small purse where the younger of the two kept her makeup while on the road.   
“Oh. Yes. Thanks.” But even after she took the purse, Renta didn’t seem to want to move. “What is it?”  
“I… No it’s nothing.”  
“I can see that something’s on your mind. Out with it.”  
“I’m simply annoyed at Shiiran’s comment.”  
“It’s about that again? You know we don’t…”  
“I know!”, Renta interrupted, crossed her arms. “But I feel stupid when I get jealous whenever she reminds me that she had you and I can’t seem to figure out how to do you something good.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“When Nene gave you that headband, you seemed so happy and I was convinced that you’d like the lipstick.”  
“I never said I don’t.”  
“Then why do you make a fuzz out of putting it on?”  
“Because I’ll look stupid with it.”  
Renta rolled her eyes.  
“Don’t be stupid”, the older said, got closer and snatched the stick right out of Mikkii’s hands. “Everything you try out looks amazing. You even make those stupid baggy shirts look amazing. If you don’t like it…”  
“Renta.” Mikkii grabbed her wrist to stop her from talking and moving. “I mean that I don’t know how to properly put it on. You know very well I don’t show off something if I didn’t have the time to practice.”  
The two stared at one another and Mikkii felt the other’s fast pulse on her wrist. Renta finally gulped and looked down after they stood in silence for ages.  
“I’m an idiot”, Renta mumbled and Mikkii came closer to her, cupping her face with her hands.  
“Maybe”, she said in return, smiled softly. “But you’re my idiot.”  
That finally put a smile on Renta’s face, hugging her softly and leaning her forehead against Mikkii’s. Sometimes it was handy they had the same size. When she opened her eyes again, Renta seemed much more cheerful.  
“How about I put it on you?”  
Mikkii blinked in surprise.  
“Excuse me?”  
“I could try putting it on for you. I did it a few times on the younger actresses already and I REALLY want to see how it looks like on you.”  
She was about to protest, yet sighed in resignation. She knew Renta well enough to know that she would either get her will or that she would pout for the rest of the week. She wanted to avoid the last of the two.   
“Would that really make you happy?”, she asked ultimately, earning an enthusiastic nod from her partner. Mikkii smiled a little, sat down on the a small chair and looked up at the other. “Then go ahead.”  
  
To be honest, feeling the brush on her lips while Renta was working on it felt strange. She was used to do it herself, quickly putting it on and just make sure it looked good, however now that she didn’t have to focus on not getting it everywhere, the feeling was much more intense. Renta also was almost lascivious doing it, leaning over her and staring at her face. Mikkii couldn’t help but blush the slightest. She remembered that exact look Renta had on her face just then. The very first time, years and years ago, when they didn’t even knew they liked each other, they somehow ended up cuddling quite intensely in the corner of the club where Hoshigumi was celebrating, back when Touko was still around. She remembered Renta’s fingers on her face the exact same way, running over her cheek and jaw, down her neck and over her shoulder while they stared into each other’s eyes.  
“It looks really good on you”, the older finally whispered, ripping Mikkii out of her thoughts and she blinked softly.  
“What?”  
“The lipstick. It really does look amazing.”  
Slowly Mikkii came out of her trance-like state, got up again and took a look in the mirror. She had to admit… it looked quite good. Though it made her a lot paler than she was used to.  
“The only thing missing now is black hair.”  
Mikkii frowned, looked at the other in confusion.  
“Then what?”, she asked, leaned against the sink.  
“Then you would be the fairest of them all.” She grinned. “You know… Snow White and everything.”  
Mikkii let out a soft chuckle, grabbed Renta’s arm and pulled her closer.  
“Don’t get used to that image.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because I need to try out how much it takes me to get it off.”  
“You can just remove it…?”  
She laughed once more.  
“You don’t understand, do you?” Mikkii pulled the other closer, wrapped her arms around her neck and held her close. “Shiiran already said it… I like to smear my lipstick everywhere. It’s about time I mark my territory and I’m absolutely sure the color will look good on you, too.”  
When she put her lips on Renta’s cheek, she already knew that she had to put some more effort into getting her lipstick to stick on her girlfriend. Not that she minded.


	31. Different Types of Kisses

It was just a gaze, the simple feel of having a body sit down next to you, their eyes meeting and a smile and yet Saeko knew there was no going back from this. Her heart pounded hard in her chest, up to her throat, her palms became sweaty and the blood rushing in her ears.  
“I hope you don’t mind me sitting here?”  
It was a statement and not actually a question. There was no one sitting next to her usually, at least not since Kurara had left.   
“Feel free to do so”, she answered, trying to force on a smile, however failing in the process. Her eyes were still fixed on those chocolate brown eyes and the equally dark hair that was neatly brushed back for her first day in this troupe.   
“So… Sena…”, she started, but the other interrupted her instantly.  
“Please stick with Asako. Everyone else does.”  
That finally put a smile on Saeko’s lips and when the other woman’s lips curled up into an equally bright smile, she couldn’t help but blush slightly and turn down her gaze for a second.  
“Sorry. Asako then. Did you already get familiar with everybody?”  
“Just a few people. Well I know Yuuhi already and everyone else is nice. And of course I have the pleasure of sitting next to the great Ayaki Nao.”  
Saeko let out a laugh, honestly flattered by the attention that made her heart jump a little more.  
“Oh please. Just call me Saeko, okay? No need to be formal here.”  
  
 _A kiss on the cheek – Friendship  
  
_ And how well they worked together. Their dancing was in time, their movements just the way they needed to be and their acting completed the other. Saeko felt that watching the other dance and act was her new addiction. The way her clothes framed her whole body, her muscles tensing just before she did a jump or a lift and how her upper body differed when she inhaled or exhaled in a certain way.   
The only thing more addicting was talking to Asako when they were not at rehearsals. Every once in a while they were going out, eat something or just take Buuh-chan for a walk. They were talking for hours, cooking together, having a sleepover at each other’s house and watching movies just to turn them off after half an hour because they kept talking through it.  
“Sorry, Sae. Osa’s having me over for dinner tonight. Could we maybe meet up tomorrow instead?”  
Saeko felt her heart break just a bit hearing her like that, that lovey-dovey tone in her voice and seeing her shy, happy smile proved her right.  
“I thought you two had a fight?”  
“We want to give it another try. We talked a lot and… and… well…”  
Saeko raised her hand to stop her.  
“I already understand.” She forced on a smile. “I wish you two good luck. I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
  
 _A kiss on the hand – Adoration  
  
_ The pain didn’t stop, not for days after and not every time they saw each other. First Asako didn’t show up for their meeting once, then twice, then a third time and then Saeko didn’t even bother asking her anymore. She wasn’t even angry with her, instead happy that her second try with Osa worked so well. She was happy, really happy for her and yet deep down it hurt.   
Her pain was soothed just a little when Asako came up to her that one day, said sorry for everything and that she wanted them to meet on a more regular basis again. The two of them and a few of their friends decided to get out one night, celebrate and have a few laughs. One by one they left up until only the two of them their left. Saeko, just a little tipsy and not as downright drunk as Asako was, took the opportunity to take a closer look at the other. It would be just for this evening, just so she could let go of her completely. It was hard not staring on the necklace that was perfectly hanging between the fabric of the opened shirt, right above her binder. How perfect she was, how perfectly her shirt was showing enough to keep it interesting and to drive her mind nuts.  
“Are you sure I can stay?”  
“Sure you can!” Asako slurred so badly Saeko could hardly understand her. “My bed is big enough for the both of us.”  
“I’m really not…” Saeko sighed. “What about Osa? She’ll get jealous if she finds out.”  
“Then we won’t tell her. Don’t be such a moodkiller.”  
Saeko gulped hard when Asako started unbuttoning her shirt, more slowly than she wanted her to do, letting it glide down her shoulders and reveal the binder underneath. Saeko stared on her perfectly trained muscles on her back while Asako started an attempt to open said binder. Slowly, hypnotized, the older woman came closer, touched the skin between the other’s shoulder blades softly, running her fingertips down her spine. She felt Asako shake softly under her touch and she stopped in her motion. Maybe it was because of her tipsy mind, maybe because she knew Asako wouldn’t remember any of it in the morning, yet she leaned down, placed a kiss where her fingers just left, then a second, a third…  
The moan she tickled out of Asako made her finally realize how much she was sucking on the rosy skin under her lips and how her hands had moved on the flat belly on their own. She turned the other in her arms, had the other’s breath on her lips.  
“I’m so sorry”, Saeko whispered, whimpered almost and had her hand run over Asako’s back. “I’m… really… really sorry.”  
  
 _A kiss on the neck – Lust  
  
_ Ultimately, Asako DID remember the night, much to Saeko’s cost. She didn’t even wonder Asako avoiding her, not talking or even looking at her. She even moved her spot away between Yuuhi and Kiriyan.   
Until one day, Asako showed up in front of her door, tears in her eyes and her body shaking. Saeko didn’t ask, let her in and shortly after she had the younger breaking down on the couch. Osa had left her. Again.  
“I don’t know what I did wrong”, Asako whimpered, burying her face between her fingers. All Saeko could do was stroking her back. “When I told her what happened between us she promised she wasn’t mad and… and yet…”  
“It wasn’t your fault, Asa…”  
Asako sobbed hard and fell against her body. Saeko immediately wrapped her arms around her.  
“I’m so worthless.”  
“You’re not. You’re perfect the way you are. No one should tell you otherwise.”  
  
 _A kiss on the shoulder – “You’re Perfection”  
  
_ “You’re really leaving?”  
“My time has come, I guess.”  
“…”  
“I will miss seeing you every day, though.”  
“Sae?”  
“Hm?”  
“Don’t go.”  
“Don’t cry, please… I can’t see you cry.”  
Asako’s head fell down as she cried even harder and Saeko came closer to her.  
“I don’t want you to leave.”  
“I’m not leaving you.”  
Carefully she took the younger woman’s hands in hers, held them tightly as she placed a kiss on her cheek.  
“But I’ll hardly see you anymore.”  
Saeko raised her hands to her lips, placed a soft kiss on them.  
“If you want me to, I’ll wait for you until you get home, for you to fall asleep on my side.”  
Asako looked up at her, sobbed once again before she threw her arms around the older woman, hugged her tight and sob against her shoulder. Saeko kissed her neck and shoulder, hoping to calm the other down.  
“Don’t leave me….”  
“I couldn’t”, Saeko finally whispered, loud enough for the other to hear. “I could never leave you.”  
Asako eased her grip around her enough to have a look at her. Once more she felt that heavy pounding in her chest, felt herself almost fainting.   
When the other’s lips touched hers, her world began spinning, stopped and moved at the same time. She never wanted to let go anymore.  
  
 _A kiss on the lips – Love_

 


	32. One last Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Contains Yuri

Okay, she told herself. This would be the last time. The very last time she would do this, but oh god she needed it so badly right now. Just once more before she would turn her life around and be a better person. One more night where she could just live out her emotions, feel the rough passion, where she could be herself. One night before she would find herself a man and become the woman everyone wanted to see. However right now what she needed was not a man but a woman. She had given into this sin way too often, however she had promised to stop it. With a new apartment, a new city, a new job, there would surely be a new life as well.   
“Just one drink”, Asako told herself when she finally entered the gay bar that was on the other side of town. No one would even remember her when she left it later. She couldn’t afford to get drunk. Once inside, she looked around, checked out what was even available to her this evening. There were quite a few people inside, men and women alike, some sitting on each other’s laps, some chatting at the tables, some drunk, some kissing in the corners. Well at least that was a familiar picture. Then again, none particularly her type. It was not like they needed a great personality, just a great body and a face that didn’t make her want to throw something in it.   
Asako walked over to the small bar, sat down and smiled at the barkeeper, ordered a light drink. Tipsy, not drunk or else she would surely get in trouble the next day. She didn’t want to show up at her new work hangover.   
“Excuse me?” She turned and stared right into another woman’s face. That moment, she already pictured the rest of the night. “Mind if I sit down?”  
“Go ahead.” Asako smiled. “Only if I can buy you a drink.”  
“Well that would be really nice. Thank you.”  
“Does your name go with it or do I need to pay extra for it?”  
The other woman laughed slightly as she sat down and Asako took a second to look at her more closely. Her wavy, black hair was carefully pinned up, just a few locks hanging over her shoulders and she was suited in the best fitting suit Asako had ever seen. Her smile was simply gorgeous.   
“You see… I don’t think names are appropriate around here.”  
“Why is that?”  
“I’m important. I’m just here to find someone to have fun with.”  
“And I want to know what name I have to moan tonight.”  
The other’s smile widened and her eyes were glimmering even more than before. Asako felt reminded of a cat, ready to take down its prey.  
“Let’s stick with Sae, okay?”  
“Asa.” Asako tilted her head, felt the others eyes all over her body. “So… are we getting these drinks or will we be fine sober?”  
“Being a little tipsy never hurt. I also wondered… I’ve never seen you around before.” She pointed on her drink. “Also that’s a very unfitting drink if you plan to get smashed.”  
“I wanted to be tipsy at most. I can’t afford to be hangover.”  
“Why is that?”  
“I’ll meet my new boss for the first time tomorrow after that little asshole didn’t even bother to show up for my interview.”  
“Maybe he was busy?”  
“A boss still has to show up for a job interview or else I wonder how good of a boss he is.” Asako shrugged. “Whatever. If he’s really such an ass, I’ll just ram my heel up his’ so he can lick it.”  
The other woman grinned devilishly and Asako raised her eyebrows in surprise.  
“Oh wow…”  
“What?”  
“Nothing. I simply wondered if you can do other things with this harsh tongue than talking bad about people you never met before.”  
Asako leaned in closer just enough to feel the other’s breath on her skin.  
“Find out.”  
Sae giggled softly.  
“Seems we don’t need these drinks after all.”  
Asako simply returned the grin, grabbed the other’s collar and pulled her in, pressed her lips on the other’s without even thinking about it. Her tongue tasted so good, something fruity, maybe a gum or something she had earlier. She could hardly wait to find out if other parts of her were so tasty as well.  
  
Asako also didn’t bother asking where the two of them would go to. Sae already dropped that she was important, ergo she surely didn’t want Asako around for longer than a night. Not that she cared. Asako already guessed that the older would be gone when the sun rose, so why not have fun?  
Asako decided that it was enough talking and petting. The one kiss was followed by another and before she knew, they were already sharing a taxi on their way to someplace Sae specified to the driver, the older pressing herself close to her touch and moaning into her mouth when Asako pulled her hair a little. All that was way too hot for her to handle. She didn’t even bother to check where they were when they entered what looked like a small hotel. Asako kept her distance when the darkhaired woman was talking to the receptionist, giving her a smile and her card and instead checked out her partner’s backside. She had an amazing figure, perfectly shaped out and begging to be touched. All of this made the ride in the elevator almost unbearable. Sae locked open one of the doors, pulled her in and slammed it shut, pulling her into another kiss and Asako pushed her against the wall beside the door before she started sucking on her neck, nibbling on her ear.  
“Eager, aren’t we?”, Sae said in a sweet tone, moaning slightly when Asako pulled her head aside on her hair to gain more space to place kisses on.  
“Just enjoying the moment.” Asako pushed her over, deeper into the room. “Get out of your clothes.”  
“Well that’s not really nice~”  
“I want you naked already.”  
“Then you better sit down and enjoy the show.”  
Asako gulped and sat down on a small couch. Sae however first made her way over to put on some music. There were some CDs the hotel provided, yet Sae could’ve put on a german polka for all she cared. It was far more interesting how the black haired woman slowly started getting rid of the clothes she had on her body, revealed some black lacy panties, though she was not wearing a bra, and put it all perfectly aside on a chair before walking over to her with waving hips. Asako felt the knot in her belly heat up just by watching.   
“Dear lord…”, Asa muttered under her breath.  
“Like what you see?” Sae got on her knees in front of her, pushed up her shirt and pressed some small kisses on there. Asa didn’t even notice how quickly she opened up the belt she had on.  
“Where the hell have you been all my life?” Asa grinned wider, pet the silky hair softly. “You’re freaking hot.”  
“So? And what do you want me to do now?”  
“Want me to order you around?”  
“I’d like to try out how it feels when someone else is in charge for once.”  
“How about you get me out of these clothes first and check if I’m to your liking?”  
Then again, all she let the other do was opening her shirt and get her out of her pants. When Sae started sucking on her nipples, started touching every inch of her skin, she couldn’t bear it any longer. She grabbed the other’s body, pushed her back on the table that was right behind her and threw down a small vase on her way, but she didn’t care at all. Sae let out the sweetest of sounds when her body connected with the cold surface, became louder while Asako’s tongue traced the silhouettes of her body, her breasts, over her belly and down her hip until she finally dipped it against the wet entrance. She teased her partner, only touching the sweet spots lightly before sucking down on the inside of her thighs, leaving a small mark that would make her remember her.   
“Please…”, Sae said restless and breathless. The way she clawed her hair and pushed her back between her legs made it clear what she wanted.  
“You want this?”, Asako mumbled against the wetness.  
“Yes…”  
“How bad?”  
“Please…”  
“Will you be a good girl?”  
“I’ll be good…”  
“Then don’t dare cuming without my permission.”  
Asako pressed the tip of her tongue against Sae’s hot entrance, made the other woman moan out loudly and throw her head back when she started sucking on the sensitive clit. The other clawed her hair, pulled her closer and Asako pushed her tongue inside the hot woman, feeling the other shake hard while holding her down. She would not allow her to move against her, not while she was in charge. She tasted almost… fruity. Really nice and Asako found it addicting. More intense and more greedy she started sucking on the more sensitive parts, the points where she knew were most pleasurable, making it as hard as possible for the other to keep her promise. Asako felt the sweet mix of fluids running over her chin and neck until she heard a highly desperate sound from the woman pulling harder on her hair. She stopped for the slightest second, licking her lips and leaning over Sae. One of her legs was still over her shoulder and the flexibility made Asa grin wide. That could be interesting.   
“You’re so hot, Sae-chan”, she whispered while pressing slight kisses on her neck. “And dripping so much. Do you want this so bad?”  
“I-I do…” Her voice was shaking so bad, broke into another moan when Asa touched her softly between her legs, spreading the wetness down her legs while tracing her skin. “Please let me…”  
Asako dipped her fingers inside the other and Sae burst into another moan, every muscle tensing.  
“Let you what?”  
“M-More…”  
“Fuck you more?”  
“Y-Yes… Please…”  
“Beg me.”  
“Please… I beg you… take me harder… let me come…”  
“Well such a well behaved girl.” Asako giggled slightly. “For now, you have my permission. But don’t think this night is over for you with just this one time.”  
Asako bit the other’s neck, held her close and started moving slowly, found the sweet spot inside her partner that made her tense even harder. She felt the skin flinching and the muscles shaking against hers and Sae tensed even more before breaking down with a cry.  
  
When Asako woke up again, she wasn’t alone as expected. However she didn’t even bother to stick around. It was not like they would see each other again ever. From the very beginning they made it really clear that it would end with sunrise, though it really was a shame. Sae looked beautiful with the sheet up to her hip, her hair over her shoulders and her back and her face pressed into the pillow. Then again, she promised herself that this would be her last time sharing the bed with a woman. She would go normal, like everyone else, so she got up from her side and picked up the clothes that she left everywhere in the small room. It really was a mess. The pillows of the couch were everywhere, the vase broken, the bathroom still wet from the shower and she had no idea where the bracelet went that she had on the evening before. Well it hadn’t been important or valuable anyway, so she decided to take a quick shower, get dressed and left. She hardly got any sleep and she was actually way too tired to go to her first day at her new job, but she would push through it. She was worn out, yet strangely refreshed.   
“Good morning”, she said after she went inside the building just in time, freshly dressed, made up and with the spots on her neck covered. Luckily she was used to do so on a regular basis, so no one would notice. “I’m Asako. I’m starting here today.”  
The office building wasn’t anything special, just one like many other. She couldn’t even remotely remember what exactly these people did. Something about costumes and theatre or movies, however she just had to keep track of timetables and organize meetings. She left the selling to other people.  
“Ah nice to meet you!”, the woman answered and got up from her spot. “Kiriyan’s the name. They are already waiting for you upstairs. I’ll give them a call.”  
“Thank you. Nice to meet you, too.”  
Kiriyan smiled and Asako walked over to the elevators, got in and Kiriyan most likely did the work for her. The elevator moved up all by itself to the top floor and she got out. She stood in a small office and at its end was a slightly larger door, most likely the room of their boss. On the left was another small hallway leading to the meeting rooms. She remembered those because she had her interview there. Large, cold rooms but filled with pictures and products. A small Lady, she remembered her to be called Kurara, looked up from her desk, smiled slightly and pointed down said hallway where Asako rushed into the filled meeting room.  
“Nice of you to finally drop in.” The woman standing in front of the others took a look on her watch. She looked terrifying in her fit, black suit. “In time as well. Be early next time. This is your first day, so I let it slide.”  
Asako bowed down deep, sat down on the last empty chair in the room and pulled out her notebook. Better she wrote down everything important.  
“First of all… good morning”, the woman said with a smile. “It’s nice to see new people here. Some of you already know me from your interviews, however I’m sad that I couldn’t attend all of them personally, so let me introduce myself to you first. I’m Koshino Ryuu and all of you sitting here will be working under my direct orders. So let’s begin, shall we?”  
So this was her boss then. The idiot who was ‘too busy’ to show up for her interview. Asako already liked Kurara better. She figured the woman was second in command.   
  
The meeting however was more likely held in order to get to know one another since Asako didn’t really have anything to write down at first. No dates, no names, just a note for a further meeting. After the others left, Asako walked up to her boss.  
“Can I help you with anything?”, she asked the woman who looked at her quite puzzled while erasing the notes on the whiteboard.  
“Hm… no. Not right now. Today is for you to settle in, to check out your new workplace.”  
“Oh… okay? I figured since I’m technically your secretary…”  
The grin Ryuu gave her suddenly made her stop and blink in confusion.  
“Well it would be nice to have such a secretary, but I think you might have the wrong person here.”  
“What? But my contract said…”  
“That you’re the CEO’s secretary, I know. But sadly I’m not that person.” Ryuu took another look on her watch. “However she should be in already. You should go see her. Usually she manages her schedule personally, so I’m glad I got her into finally hiring a secretary.” Ryuu smiled at her. “Go knock and ask her for the book so you can copy her schedule. And don’t be afraid of her. She’s nicer once you get to know her.”  
“… If you say so. Thank you.”  
“You’re welcome.”  
Still puzzled Asako left the room, walked back to the main office where Kurara already was busy phoning, so Asa decided not to bother her further. Instead she gulped, walked over to the huge and heavy door and knocked carefully. When she opened it, it felt heavy in her hand although it was not, and closed it carefully behind her.  
“How many times do I have to say no? I’m not selling. Be a dear and stop trying. And don’t think I didn’t notice your little trick at the set last time.”  
Asako turned pale while she watched the woman walking up and down in front of the huge windows, talking into the phone in her hand. Her black, curly hair was perfectly pinned up and she was dressed in a deep red suit. Her moving was hypnotizing, yet not enough for Asako to overcome the shock. When their eyes met, Asako forgot how to breathe for a second.  
“We’ll have this conversation another time. I’m busy.”  
The woman put the phone back, crossed her arms and a smile crept on her lips.  
“Now isn’t that interesting”, she said and Asako really considered running out the room. “Nice to see you here after you left me in the hotel room.”  
“S-Sae…”, Asako huskily whispered and the other slowly walked over to her. Asako’s back hit the wall next to the door.  
“Ayaki Nao to be more precise. I only use my real name when I go out. But for you… it’s most likely more along the lines of ‘Madame’ considering I’m your boss and all.”  
“Y-You…”  
She stopped and became smaller when Sae suddenly was just inches away from her.  
“Did I leave you speechless? You know… it was not nice of you leaving me all by myself this morning. Not to mention I paid for the hotel and the vase you broke.” She smiled wider. “You can be glad that I enjoyed myself so much or I would really be upset about this.”  
“I-I-I had no idea…”  
“That I’m the asshole who didn’t even bother to show up for your interview?”  
“I didn’t… mean it like that.”  
“Oh yes you did. But I’m not angry.” With a sweet tone and a small wave of her hand she made Asako walk over to the desk. “I know how people think about me. ‘Look at her sitting in her comfy chair and let us do all the work’. Well I don’t care what they think.” She turned around and leaned on the table. “To be honest… the chances were so slim that you really were the girl starting today, but I have to admit the look on your face was worth it.”   
The CEO reached forward and grabbed her collar, pulling her close.  
“B-but…”, Asako started until she was shushed by a sudden kiss on her lips. The expensive lipstick tasted so different from what she had experience before.  
“How about we turn tables now?”, Sae whispered against her lips with a husky voice, slipping her fingers under her skirt. “I’ll show you what it’s like to really be in charge and this will not be the last time.”


	33. I wouldn't mind...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayaki Nao x Kozuki Wataru

“I’m still amazed they let you wear the male uniform.”  
“Me too, if I’m honest. But hey… it’s way better this way, isn’t it? Though I think they only let me wear it because I really can’t fit into that cursed skirt.”  
Saeko laughed and her cute curly hair softly giggled with it. Sometimes Wataru made fun of how hard it had to be to curl in these locks every day by actually playing with them, twirling them around her finger and enjoy the softness of it. There was no way she could do that with her boyish haircut. However it had the advantage that every once in a while Saeko liked to bury her hands in them, ruffle them and smell the shampoo she had on.  
“Now that I think about it… it’s the first time you’re having me over, isn’t it? I guess my brothers will be sad about that.” Still Wataru couldn’t help but grin. “I’m really curious about your sisters, though.”  
“Well don’t expect too much out of it. They’re in that annoying age and they like to trip over my youngest sister. Ever since Hiromi learned how to crawl, my parents have trouble locking her in.”  
“What do you know about annoying ages?”  
“I’ve been in one, remember?”  
The two of them laughed before they left the train and walked down the street through the more quiet part of town. Wataru took a second to take everything in. It was much greener than where she lived and a lot quieter as well. They walked until they reached a small house. A dog came running up to them and Saeko leaned down, patted it softly on the head and smiled.  
“I’m home!”, the slightly older girl shouted, walked inside the house, while the dog hardly left her side. Talking about overprotective animals.   
“Welcome home.” An older lady came walking around the corner, carrying a small child on her arm. That had to be Hiromi then, yet she stopped when she saw the two of them. For some reason, she started grinning widely. “Oh… Sae I thought you said you wanted to bring your classmate, but you never actually said you’d bring your boyfriend.”  
The two of them froze on the spot, stared at the woman before facing each other. Saeko was the first to react, looking back at her mother and started laughing. Actually, she laughed so hard that she had to sit down for a second and Wataru’s face took a deep red color.  
“What are you laughing at, Sae-chan?”  
“I-It’s just…” Saeko could hardly stop laughing. “Mum… that’s not my boyfriend.” She got up, still giggling and Wataru crossed her arms, looking away. “That’s Wataru, you know? I told you about HER?”  
“What?” Saeko’s mother covered her mouth with the one hand she had free, holding Hiromi in the other. “Oh dear… I’m so sorry.”  
Wataru put on a smile instead.  
“Don’t worry about it”, she answered shyly. “I get that sometimes…”  
Actually she got that a lot until people decided to talk to her. Her voice was quite high after all, yet that didn’t stop Saeko’s two smaller sisters from running away from her. Wataru took it with humor, but her mind was set on something else instead. She never thought about Saeko that way. They joked, they spent a lot of time together, almost like a couple. There was more than one time she had the smaller woman on her lap, getting jealous gazes especially from the male department of their class. After all, Sae was by far one of the most beautiful girls.   
  
Later, when Wataru sat on Saeko’s bed, her legs crossed and with a book in her lap, she couldn’t quite focus on that. With Saeko out to get something to drink, there was no way to get her mind off of it, especially when she reentered the room with a small tablet with tea on it again. She changed from her uniform into her pajama pants, kicked the door shut behind her since her sisters were running around playing catch. Amazing that there was no more sound as soon as the door was closed.  
“Sorry… Mum occupied the kitchen and wouldn’t let me make the tea myself. And she would not stop talking.”  
Saeko rolled her eyes and made Wataru smile in return.  
“She… does talk a lot, doesn’t she?”  
“Yeah. Sorry about earlier by the way. The her thinking you are a guy thing.”  
“You know I don’t mind that”, Wataru laughed.  
“You don’t mind her calling you my boyfriend?”  
Once more this day, Wataru felt herself blushing.  
“N-No… actually… I mean…”  
Saeko put on a cheeky grin, sat down the tablet on the table and herself on the bed.  
“No?”  
“I get called a guy a lot and… well… why not?”  
“Why not… what?” Saeko tilt her head and one of her locks fell over her shoulder. Wataru smiled and carefully caught it with her finger, started twirling it softly and touching Saeko’s cheek with the back of her hand. The smaller woman blushed slightly. “… Wataru?”  
“… You’re… really pretty… I mean… really, REALLY pretty. And I like you a lot, Sae…”  
She pulled back her hand, blushed harder and stared on the bed once more. In the corner of her eyes, she saw Saeko smile, coming closer and softly pushed against her with her shoulder so she would look up again.  
“Is that a confession? Cause I have one to make.”  
“… You do?”  
“I wouldn’t mind you being my boyfriend.” Saeko’s voice became softer as she grabbed Wataru’s hand, holding it and crossing her fingers with hers. “Or… you being my girlfriend. I like you…”  
Wataru felt her heart jump, yet she smiled and leaned her head against Saeko’s when she cuddled up to her. They did it times before, but never before Wataru thought about her that way. It felt warm and she felt the soft spark between them. Innocent, new and exciting. The taller woman laughed softly.  
“What are you laughing at?”, Saeko said a little upset, looking up at her.  
“Am I not supposed to kiss you now then?”  
This time, Saeko fell quiet and Wataru couldn’t stop from thinking how cute she was biting her lip like that. She leaned down and kissed the other’s cheek once, then a second time when she felt that Sae didn’t flinch back. Before she could do it a third time, she felt the curious lips on her own, her hand getting hold a little tighter as they got lost in the moment.


End file.
